Monday, June 25, 2007

...And You Thought The Firemen Were Hot

I preface this statement with my apologies to Mrs. Dart & Mrs. Yamashiroya. But I must say that you are both married to some incendiary quality hotties.


Among the usual suspects at yesterday’s Gay Pride Parade were the delectable Sheriff of Cook County, Tom Dart and 23rd District Chicago Police Commander Gary Yamashiroya.

When did those who were sworn to serve and protect get so blazingly hot?

For disclosure’s sake, I have met Commander Yamashiroya as he and I know some of the same peeps back from my old ‘hood. He doesn’t seem like the ass kicking, name taking blue collar image you’d get of a Chicago cop.

From what the peeps have told me he seems to be measured, fair and an all around good guy.

He’s not a boozer, he doesn’t have a rep as being an asshole---‘cause the last person you ever want to meet is a cop with an attitude problem and you don’t hear about him being a skirt chaser.

Frankly, its cops like that who give the Chicago Police Department a good name.

Then of course that handsome mug don’t hurt either.

There he was, marching and waving with his lovely wife and young daughter. Always lean with a little bit of a tan.

A hot man who loves his wife and child and doesn’t try to kill them---Go figure.

In my limited view of the world there is nothing more attractive than happily married men.

No I’m not one of those skanks who sets her sights on the brass ring just out of her reach but rather it gives me hope that nice marriageable, non-commitment phobic, straight men do exist.

Was that our loud? I’m sorry---just step over all of that baggage I just dropped and we’ll continue.

There’s just something about a man who loves his wife and family that is very tantalizing. The irony is that, well---he’s married. So the chances of the hot man ever being that good to me is zero.

I know it’s warped but I suppose the grass always looks greener on the other side.

At least until you fall into the toilet and get the vapor lock of death around you ass because your husband left the seat up.

I suppose the hotness might wear off at that particular moment.

But boy howdy Sheriff Dart almost makes a sister want to go out and break the law.

I strongly suggest getting an honest to God look at that man in person. You’ll thank me later.

I was not aware that the good citizens of Cook County put eye candy in office.

Silly me I vote based on people’s record as it pertains to the office that they’re seeking, not their looks. But if I did Sheriff Dart would have won hands down.

Now it’s easy for me to extol the virtues of hot men while I sit anonymously (for the most part) behind a computer screen. The funny part is if I were standing next to them at a cocktail party I’m sure I’d make an ass out myself.

I am still very much the dorky sixteen year old girl who still can’t make small talk with the boy of my choice.

Now I’m many things, shy and under confident aren’t two of them. I am so the captain of my ship that I can put the wind in my own sails.

Nonetheless it never fails to surprise me that a person who can talk the talk (always) AND walk the walk (mostly), has not one word to say when a hottie walks in the room.

Go figure?

So if the good Commander, the Sheriff and I were having a chat I’d probably be giggling my way through the whole conversation.

Oh---and add some lip biting to boot.

I told you I’m a dork.

So I float on the outer peripheries, admiring the law enforcement man candy from afar.

Mrs. Dart and Mrs. Yamashiroya, do you ladies realize how lucky you are?

Friday, June 22, 2007

Bathroom Boys

It looks like AOZ Construction is blowing up these days.

These are the nice men that took my bathroom from looking like ass to looking hot.

It was no small miracle as the original rehab performed by my developer’s crack construction team wasn’t exactly high quality.

As a matter of fact, we found that when the glass mosaic tile was going up that the walls weren’t set at the proper (or straight) angles.

As a matter of fact, the gents had to correct a whole bunch of crappy workmanship for a slight increase in our original agreed upon price.

That’s ‘cause there was a great deal of extra labor and materials involved.

Nonetheless as the pictures prove----they did a phenomenal job. I was (and am) extremely pleased with the quality, timeliness and professionalism of their work.

Sometimes I just go in the bathroom and contentedly sigh. Kohler commercials don’t have the corner on that market.

If it weren’t for this getting laid off thing, I’d have them back before the end of the summer to put in a new kitchen floor.

But looming unemployment seems to take precedence right now.

It’s always something, right?

I know one day my kitchen will be the best I can afford, but right now I’m gonna have to continue rocking that cheap laminate white appliance Home Depot look that my developer thought was so hot.

Viking appliances may not be in my future, but at least a sister can scrap together a few pennies for the Kenmore stainless package.

I’ll be giving the kids at AOZ a call. If you’re planning a remodel you might want to as well.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Oy! or Infastructure-a-go-go

With an older building there is always some maintenance issue that needs to be addressed. Truthfully it seems like there are more issues or potential issues to be dealt with than hours in the day (or willing volunteers).

Or the short way to say it is there's always something.

The porches that are a little over a year old are already having problems with severely splitting wood and rails coming apart from the posts.

Our porches should have that type of weathering in year eleven or twelve, not going into year two.

You know I'm all over it with the Porch People. Naturally any lack of timely response to my e-mails from my neighbors is slowing the process down significantly. I mean people pissed and moaned about the porches at our last meeting yet haven't responded to an e-mail asking them to detail their concerns.

Jesus take the wheel.

You'll be hearing alot of that phrase in the future. 'Cause at this point, I just have to put it in Jesus' hands 'cause I can't do any more.


I'll send another e-mail and post signs in the foyers to give people a last ditch effort to throw in their two cents. After that, Mama takes over.

The latest drama is that someone got a barbecue grill stolen off of their back porch highlighting the back fence issue and one of our buildings has a Noah's Ark type flood going on in the basement.

God I hope my vintage Christmas ornaments aren't ruined.

Jesus take the wheel.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Dorchester Update

When these pictures were taken in early May, signifcant progress had been made on the single family home on the 6500 Block of Dorchester. Further north on the street, the new buildings have sprung from the earth and actually don't look bad for McCondos.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Why did my cable go out an hour and ten minutes prior to the Soprano's series finale?

Naturally I didn't get my reception back until around 9:00 PM the next day. That's the type of love south side dwelling Comcast subscribers receive.

Now Comcast's system could of been having problems in all parts of the city or the region, but somehow I seriously doubt that.

In retrospect, it was good that I couldn't get any information via the TV as I hadn't seen the epissode and was trying to avoid any and all commentary about the show.

Of course I had a sneaking feeling that when my cable starting going on the fritz late Saturday night that problems lie ahead. Just once I'd like my inner voice to be wrong about these types of things.

To add insult to injury the brain trust at Comcast waited a full 24 hours before a "system problem" was officially identified. Hell by that time the most anticipated television finale in recent memory actually was a memory.

Thank God for encore presentations & on-demand.

'Cause I'm telling you I could of dropped a brick Sunday night. I was just plotzing all over the place. While I wasn't happy, I managed to put the whole incident in perspective---no one was bleeding, I still had my health and the earth was still spinning on it's axis.

I also knew that it could of been worse if I had my cable, internet and phone with Comcast. On Monday my friend Rita told me that one of her neighbors was cut off from the outside world entirely. She couldn't get on the internet or make a phone call until late Monday night.

How much would that suck?

So I built a bridge and got over myself. Oh yeah and also folded the clean laundry that was piling up on my bed.

Nonetheless that night I started investigating my cable options.

Comcast is on it's way out in my household. I'm not paying for continuing crappy service and even crappier customer service policies.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The Taxi Cab Rebellion

I recently received this letter from the Department of Consumer Services regarding the taxicab complaint I filed earlier this year:

You are hereby notified that a hearing will be held at the above listed date, time & location against the cab drive you reported to this department for investigation.

The cab driver has been charged with violations of the municipal code of Chicago.

As a key witness, your testimony is essential for an effective prosecution of the case against the cab driver. A copy of the affidavit you submitted is enclosed for your reference and review.

Contact me at 312-XXX-XXXX or at as to your availability to testify on the above listed hearing date and time. Please inform me whether you will be testifying via telephone, indicate the phone number you can be reached on the date and time of hearing. Please allow for a two hour window to testify by phone.

Your failure to testify may result in the case being dismissed.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Always reference the above listed complaint number in all communications with this department.

It may have taken five months but the wheels of justice are finally turning for a sister.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Prompt Consideration or Obamarama

I recently received this letter from Senator Barack Obama's Chicago office:

June 1, 2007

Dear Woody:

Some time ago you contacted the Chicago District Office of U.S. Senator Barack Obama. Regrettably, due to the high volume of cases that we receive daily, your documents were inadvertently misplaced.

Just recently we came upon the correspondence you sent ot us in November. We apologize if the delay in our response has caused you any inconvenience and are contacting you now to determine if we can assist you at this time.

We deeply value all of our constituents' problems and hope that, if still in need of our help, you will contact us at 312-XXX-XXXX at your earliest convenience so that we can determin how best to resolve your issue.

We look forward to hearing from you soon.


Constituent Service Agent
U.S Senator Barack Obana

Note: I dropped that letter and the corresponding packet of information off in November of 2005.

Prompt consideration indeed.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Speaking of Karma

Now let's recount...

My mortgage payment may go up or it may stay the same or go down. I don't know for sure yet.

My sister was recently released from the pokey and is starting from scratch.

And now word comes down from on high that our whole department is getting laid off.

While I'm not into the whole pity party scene, I'm starting to feel a little like Job.

Apparently I've pissed off God. I'm sure this is payback for some bad thing I did in the past.