Tuesday, March 04, 2008


It’s official, the mighty have fallen.

How did I come to this conclusion?

As I was sitting in the Bennigans on Michigan Avenue drinking a green Miller Lite, eating one of the worst hamburgers I’ve ever have (that beef tasted like shit), listening to “What Time Is It?” from the High School Musical 2 soundtrack; I wondered how I was going to make ends meet on a possible $13.00 an hour admin temp job.

I know, cue the violins.

For those of you who don’t know me, I rarely if ever go to chain restaurants, I only drink bad beer at sporting events and my taste for beef has definitely been through an upgrade.

Do not get me started this High School Musical foolishness.

While I know in the scheme of things this isn’t on the scale of calling in the United Nations but I was having one of those days.

Earlier I had gone and registered with a admin temp agency.

My rationale is that the waitressing job wouldn’t provide enough income to keep the household bills paid so I had to have another stream of income.

It’s a touch demoralizing being told you’re not worth $14.00 an hour because your MS Word test scores aren’t up to par.

But at least I can take comfort that my filing and basic office skills scores tested off the charts.

As of yesterday it became obvious that there wouldn’t be many more eyebrow waxes, manicures and pedicures.

Hell, it’s bad enough you can zest citrus fruit with my heels----must I look like Ernest Borgnine about the brows?

Jesus take the wheel.

So it is with a sense of irony that I was in my usual swanky watering hole a few weeks ago when I saw this mouth watering man sitting in the seat I like to sit in at the far end of the bar.

Honestly, he was something to see.

Many people who go to this place are somewhat full of themselves.

Present company excluded, of course.

Captain of the universe types who command all that they see and make a lot of money doing so.

They all just don’t happen to be eye candy.

But this guy was not only handsome but seemed down to earth and had very good posture.

That’s when I took a closer look.

He was well dressed but didn’t have on an expensive suit. He was at a bar but was drinking orange juice. And he had an earpiece coming out of his ear.

Holy shit, he’s someone’s bodyguard.

I scanned the room and noticed other clean cut looking, ramrod straight looking types at the entrance and in another corner.

I had been to that bar and the adjoining hotel multiple times when dignitaries, athletes and movie stars alike wandered those halls and I’ve never seen that type of security.

Who the hell needs that type of protection?

Another scan of the room answered my question.

I already liked Oprah but I really must commend her for her excellent choice in security eye candy.

I know this unemployment foolishness won’t last but it’s odd where you take your inspiration.

Mine is to one day to be able to afford good looking men to protect me.

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