Solutions

Money is tight these days.

But I'm sure you figured that out as I'm unemployed.

As a result, the personal grooming budget had to be sacrificed.

It's not like was going out for facials, massages and seaweed wraps when I had a job but I tried to get my nails and hair done with some regularity.

You know, the basics.

Money hasn't been the only culprit, I've simply lacked the will to get off my ass and groom myself.

It's like a never ending downward spiral. You don't go anywhere so you don't get dressed. You don't get dressed so you stay in your PJ's all day. You stay in your PJ's all day so you don't comb your hair.

You know where I'm going with this.

But yesterday, I decided that I had to break the cycle. I couldn't look like a bag of ass anymore.

Yet how could I make the magic happen without breaking the bank?

The solution: Cosmetology schools.

For $5.00 plus a small tip, I was able to get the eyebrows tamed and a pretty good manicure.

So I feel better, look better and didn't spend a great deal of money.

Thanks, Truman Cosmetology Salon, I needed that.

On The Come Up

Since I rarely drive I may have missed the fact that the 63rd and the Dan Ryan had both inbound and outbound exit ramps.

Nonetheless the south bound exit coming from the city seems new to me.

Now I'm hoping the construction is sound and nothing falls apart, but can you believe this landscaping?



Yes ladies and gentlemen, this is 63rd and Wentworth.

But I'm sure you could tell that by the grattiesque auto parts sign in the background of this picture. Prettying up the urban landscape won't happen overnight.

Normally the ramp medians would be choked with weeds and trash.

This looks like something you'd see on the north side.

We're on the come up.

Anniversary

Eight years ago yesterday, I closed on my current home and began my adventures on the south side.

If they (and I)knew what they (and I) know now.

A toast to beautiful Woodlawn and the wonders she holds.

We Were Warned....

The O'Jays tried to tell us, but we weren't listening.

Capitalism

It was with some interest that I finally got around to seeing Michael Moore's latest offering "Capitalism, A Love Story."

I didn't realize that my own private little unemployment and mortgage hell had been translated to the big screen.

So much for that book deal and movie options.

Say what you will about Mr. Moore, but I can tell you with absolute clarity that I'm living a vast majority of that story right now.

On it's face that may seem depressing, but there are a number of things that let me know I wasn't the only one to notice that things were amiss.

Mr. Moore also called attention to those who foresaw the subprime mortgage fallout. He also pointed out that the TARP bailout was passed on the second go round despite the fact it was voted down the first time.

Make no mistake friends---This whole TARP thing sounded extra bootleg the minute it was announced.

It's nice to know I'm not crazy. I wasn't being paranoid.

So the question remains---what's next?

What happens when people's severance or savings disappears and they find out that the safety net that was so generously extended for corporate America isn't large enough for "average" American?

Ladies and gentlemen if you didn't read it when I wrote it the first time, understand it now: We're screwed.

I'm just curious about the course of action the rest of my fellow Americans are going to take when they wake up and smell the coffee.

This may not be pretty.

Mortgage Epilogue, Part I

On it's face my mortgage situation has been worked out---at least temporarily.

When I didn't know what would happen, I contacted the press about my situation to see if a little well needed publicity would help the matter.

While I spoke with various members of the press, this is the only story to emerge so far.

Much thanks to Ashley Gross and the lovely folks over at Chicago Public Radio.

The Great Pumpkin

I've always been a classic cartoon freak.

So much so, that I boycotted that bootleg piece of cinema that somewhat resembled "The Grinch That Stole Christmas."

Imagine the nerve of Hollywood sending the Grinch down the hill twice. TWICE!

For real?

So it is with that in mind that I present a text message conversation between myself and my sister during "The Great Pumpkin" broadcast on Tuesday.


(Sister) 10/27/2009 6:58:56 PM
It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown is on ABC Now!

(WW) 6:59:38 PM
I know. I just tweeted that same thing!

(Sister) 7:01:19 PM
Classic! Watching with the boys. (Editor's note: My nephews)

(WW) 7:13:01 PM
Best line from Linus: "I thought little girls believed whatever they were told."

(Sister) 7:13:54 PM
Lol

(WW) 7:17:24 PM
Charlie Brown getting the rock is such a wonderful metaphor.

(WW) 7:21:46 PM
Charlie Brown in that mask looks like R. Kelly. I didn't know that R. was biting (Editor's note: Biting = copying) off of old Chuck...



(WW) 7:23:09 PM
If a dog's lips were the least of things that mine have touched...Sweet Jesus.

(Sister) 7:23:29 PM
Snoopy. Gotta love him.

(Sister) 7:24:17 PM
Whooo (Editor's note: Snoopy howling when Linus plays a sad song on the piano.)

(WW) 7:24:45 PM
How did you know I was laughing?

(Sister) 7:25:59 PM
We've watch this together forever, blockhead.

(WW) 7:26:28 PM
I love that he looked all embarrassed.

(Sister) 7:27:28 PM
Right. That's what makes it so damn funny.

(WW) 7:31:00 PM
Did I just see Chuck in a commercial and did he just say "homies?" Sweet Jesus (Editor's note: A horribly voiced "modern" Charlie Brown was in a :15 second ABC promo for some dreadful new cartoon about his new "homies.")

(WW) 7:32:10 PM
Now we stop watching---Ass. (Editor's note: The original Great Pumpkin was on followed by some bootleg Charlie Brown cartoon---I would have none of it and changed the channel.)

(WW) 7:33:20 PM
My final favorite metaphor is "I went trick or treating and all I got is this bag full of rocks."

(WW) 7:34:59 PM
I changed to "The Bob Newhart Show,"

(Sister) 7:35:01 PM
The commercial was a bit much.

(Sister) 7:35:50 PM
You're missing Joe Cool.

(WW)7:36:33 PM
Joe Cool circa 1990---Ass.

(WW) 7:37:36 PM
OMG, it's Suzanne Pleshette!

(Sister) 7:39:22 PM
Shut up!

(WW) 7:40:04 PM
I told you I'm watching "The Bob Newhart Show."

**End Conversation**

Frankly speaking it all comes back to your warm childhood memories.

Droopy

The south side is awash in people carrying really bad knock off Coach purses.

The "Logo C" has been Coach's staple for almost ten years.

But it's everywhere---I'm sure you've seen it but may not have realized (or cared) about a logo on a purse.

Nonetheless, you know a purse is really popular when you see the bootleg guys on Chicago Avenue with the knock off almost immediately.

So I've seen the "Logo C" pretty much on everything.

Or so I thought.

As I was sitting on the bus with a gaggle of high school kids, I was counting the minutes until I could exit at my stop.

I believe one of Dante's levels of hell is a packed bus with high school kids.

That's when I saw it---the ultimate ghetto fab.

Young people wearing saggy pants showing their underwear is nothing new.

A young person wearing saggy pants shows his bootleg Coach "Logo C" briefs IS something new.

Jesus keep me near the cross.

Not only did I NOT need to see that but so much was going through my mind:

Who sags AND wear printed designer underwear? Is he just that label conscious or is he a gay thug?

Why would anyone want to show their underwear to the public if they're not LaPerla?

I guess I'm truly an adult.