An Open Letter to Jay-Z or How To Cater To Your Aged Fan Base

Mr. Carter,

I’m sorry that I missed you this weekend at the Rivera.

My friend and I tried to get in to the Crobar listening party. Allegedly you were going to drop in on last night but apparently everyone else heard that rumor too.

You see Mr. Jigga Man---may I call you Jigga?---I’m a full fledged member of the first national hip hop generation. That means those of us who were amazed by “The Breaks” or “Rapper’s Delight” are now approaching 40.

While I can’t speak for the others in my generation, I can firmly state that when the party gets started at 10:00 PM (on a school night no less) more than likely you will see me quietly sleeping in a nook against the wall.

It’s not that you bore me H.O.V.A., in fact the opposite is true.

You’re one of the few rappers that make me listen to not only the beats and the flow but your lyrics as well.

I actually take the time to look up your lyrics on the original hip hop lyric archives.

But I digress.

While I’m a devotee of your stylings I have to drop a bug in your ear regarding those of us who may not be in our twenties or early thirties.

I know it’s not cool to start a show early---let’s say 7:00 or 8:00 o’clock but gosh darn us 9-5 working folks would sure appreciate the gesture.

Is it also possible that we could relax the dress code a tad? High heels on Chicago pavement and standing in a packed club does not lend itself to overall good foot health.

Plus wearing a skirt cut up to there and a top cut down to there gives me a sinus infection just thinking about it.

A cute but Chicago practical outfit (slacks, v-neck sweater, scarf, wool coat) along with comfy shoes---mine were Coach trainers---should be acceptable attire for almost anywhere but the opera.

Mr. Carter---Jigga Man---H.O.V.A, I’m a 38 years old woman who works two jobs and has tremendous responsibility on my shoulders, I can barely afford to wait on line in cute but uncomfortable footwear past my bedtime.

Consider it a compliment that I even tried to attend the function last night. It was everything I hate about the “club” experience but I really did want to catch one of your shows before you retire again.

Attitude was everywhere. People under 25 were everywhere. The lack of a noticeable security presence was glaringly absent. The door policy was questionable at best and don’t even get me started about the door staff.

Is this too much to ask from one of rap’s most heralded MC’s?

I will try to see your show if you come through Chicago again provided your not touring with an alleged child molester.

I promise when I get in I won’t fall asleep.

Highest Regards,

The Woodlawn Wonder