Tuesday, July 03, 2007

The Cake, Revisited

As luck would have it, I saw Patty Cake last Thursday at a social function.

She was resplendent in fuchsia and looked like she had never been pregnant. The baby weight had just melted away.

Naturally I asked her about life is in South Shore.

If I understood her correctly---after all it was a social function and I was drinking---she had taken a few of my earlier suggestions.

For starters, she put on the dog (translation: Got dressed up) took herself and her baby up to her condo development’s management company. Like a miracle from above, half finished projects at her development were fast tracked and completed.

Now I’m sure the other complaining owners were also a motivating factor, but I find it somewhat coincidental that after she did exactly what I told her to do things started shaping up.

I told her she’s using her whiteness for good. Why have power if you’re not going to use it responsibly?

She also stated that she’s been strolling about with her man.

Good work ‘Cake, it’s important to be seen with your man. That way people know that you belong to someone.

While this fact may not prevent anything from happening to her, at least if she goes missing or something happens, her presence---or lack thereof---will be missed.

Plus some guys tend to leave you alone when they know you have a man in your life.

I know it’s sad that in this day and age a woman’s firm “no” isn’t enough to ward off the unwanted attentions of a masher. But as I’ve stated before, I deal in reality.

Interestingly enough Patty Cake also happened to mention that there was a great deal of shootings that have occured since the weather warmed up.

Ironically my friend Rita, South Shore go to girl extraordinaire, also counseled against falling asleep on the south bound 6 bus this summer.

Apparently winding up at the final stop of the 6---South Shore’s Rainbow Beach---and having to walk home may not be in anyone’s best interest right now.

Seeing that I’ve fallen asleep and have had to walk home from Rainbow Beach three times in the past two years I tend to listen to sage advice.

So with all of the shenanigans going on around the neighborhood, Patty was somewhat dismayed by the lack of immediate police response.

At least that was her perception.

Now it also may be just another huge coincidence, but after she started calling 911 response times dropped.

Go figure?

What can a sister such as myself say to that type of effectiveness?

At this rate the ‘Cake may have this whole Afghan, Iraq & Israeli/Palestinian thing figured out by the year’s end.

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