Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Clue Phone Is Ringing

A reality check (along with my translation) that tempers the celebrating of my upcoming milestone birthday:

Dear Woody:

This is to inform you of an upcoming change in your premium charge. As a result of the recent birthday (you old broad)for the above referenced member, your policy premium has been adjusted (cause your girly parts are gonna need more maintenance). Please note the new amount and date so that you may plan for your automatice payment withdrawal.

Premium rates are established for age and geographic location, among other factors. In keeping with the industry practices (so we can make a business case to jack you for more cash), we review premium charges assessed to each of our policyholders on certain birthdays. For future reference, it may be helpful to know exactly when our premium rate reviews take place; at ages 6, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55, 60 and 65.

If you have any questions (like we care), or if we may be or assistance to you, (my ass) please call our customer service department at 1-800-538-8833.

Sincerely,

Membership Services
Blue Cross Blue Shield of Illinois

Industry practices. premium rate reviews. Bah---humbug. I better pile up some cash in the upcoming years. I can only imagine what would happen to my rates if I made a major claim.

Jesus take the wheel.

3 comments:

Brendan said...

The bottom two rungs of humanity: violent child predators and insurance company executives.

Eric Allix Rogers said...

God, I hate BCBS. I've gotten nothing out of my damn policy with them so far. Hope you're at least wringing some actual benefits out for your adjusted premium!

Darius T. Williams said...

LOL - yes Jesus...please take the wheel - lol.