Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Pretty Girls

You know the great thing about living around a bunch of attractive women?

Men tend to want to impress the women and tell them things that they have no business telling them in the first place.

That, my friends, is how I found out that my developer started “converting” another building literally right outside of my back door.

But I digress. Let me fill in some of the blanks.

A majority of the unit owners in our building are single women. Attractive single women might I add. Now I’m trying to convey this in the least Angelina Jolie way as possible but I’m sure you get the idea.

Not saying that I’m nothin’ to sneeze at but I’ve long been of the philosophy that I want my female friends and acquaintances to be prettier than me---dare I say supernova hot.

This doesn’t bother me in the least little bit.

Conventional wisdom says that if a guy wants to meet one of my ridiculously hot friends at a social gathering, I by default get my drinks paid for as well.

Not only does that curry favor with the friend but I am placated with drinks and (at least in the guy’s mind) am less likely to “cock block” any of his moves.

When you have a popular sister in high school you learn to either face down your insecurities or use them to your advantage.

I’ve perfected the art of being the third wheel.

So this little skill comes in handy as some of my developer’s workmen may not say “boo” to me but they will talk to some of my attractive neighbors.

It’s a great way to find out who’s who and what’s what.

So you can imagine that after a bout of hair flipping and eye batting one of my neighbors came over and dropped the bomb that our developer had the gall to actually “convert” a building two blocks south of our association.

Madder than a wet hen didn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling. I knew my Spidey Sense was tingling for a reason.

But then I built a bridge and got over myself.

I thought, “Maybe he’s done this development right this time. Perhaps he cleaned up his act.”
I thought I should give him the benefit of the doubt but still nose around and verify.

Good thing I listened to the “verify” portion of that thought ‘cause a leopard don’t change his spots ladies and gentlemen.

And it seems like my developer isn’t in any hurry to change his either.

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