I was in the middle of watching Law and Order Friday night when the picture went out.
Since I have Dish satellite for cable this isn't an uncommon occurrence.
If the wind blows too hard or the weather suddenly changes the dish won't pick up the signal.
Usually you give it a few minutes and the picture comes right back in.
Except on Friday.
I waited and waited and my picture never came back.
The weather seemed clear and I performed the diagnostics but no dice.
Since I had plans, I decided to pursue remedies when I returned later that evening.
When I did get on the phone with the Dish customer service representative we ran through a few more diagnostic tests with the same results.
So a service call was scheduled for Saturday.
When Luis the service technician came out he climbed up to the roof he quickly and efficiently diagnosed the problem.
My satellite dish was gone.
Some trifflin' ass motherfucker climbed on my roof---directly over my head my I add----on a dark, cold windy Chicago night and STOLE my satellite dish in the middle of Law and Order.
Ain't that a bitch?
I was completely undone. It took a day for me to calm down.
Who climbs up on your roof at night to take a flipping dish?
It turns out that despite a majority of the dish being plastic, there are some metal components that can be worth up to $15.00 on the street.
So does that mean that the thief goes around collecting dishes until he (or she) has enough scrap metal to make decent money?
Clearly we're not out of this recession if people are roof surfing for cable satellite dishes for scrap metal.
It's like I had my own personal "C'mon Son" moment.
Your ass is such a bootleg, ghetto ass criminal that you have to risk life and limb to grab dishes off peoples roofs.
Normally during this time of year it's the beginning of the "jacking season."
The jacking season usually lasts from the holidays until after the tax refund anticipation loans stop.
They'll jack you for your Christmas gifts. Your purse will get cut while you're in a large crowd.
If you're foolish enough to get your taxes prepared at a Currency Exchange don't be surprised when someone sticks a gun in your face as soon as you exit.
People usually become extra cautious and take care to not draw attention to themselves.
Most people exercise using common sense and street smarts.
And until yesterday I thought I was one of those people.
Little did I know that jacking had gone three stories up.