Friday, April 18, 2008


What’s the story with our non-profit neighbors?

If you’ve been reading this blog for any length of time you know my many tales of the school across the street.

But they’re not the only institution that calls our little patch of Woodlawn home.

The former Christ Apostolic Church was located across the street from our association until they moved into their new home in 2002.

The congregation is now called Metropolitan Apostolic Community Church.

Nonetheless the old building remains—frankly I’m not sure if it belongs to the church or if it’s somehow associated with Rev. Finney’s historic T.W.O. group.

And while it’s a beautiful old building, there has been a marked decline in the curb appeal since the congregation moved.

The words minimum upkeep spring to mind.

Christmas lights from several seasons ago are still in the trees, when a storm blew through here a couple of summers ago the branches and debris weren’t cleared until months later.

Mountains of trash overflowed out of the dumpster until recently.

While all of those things can drive your neighbors to distraction, in my estimation we had bigger fish to fry with impassible sidewalks and piles of garbage across the street.

One thing at a time, yo.

I figured as soon as Mt. Carmel was on track, I’d find out whom to drop a line to so the curb appeal quotient could ratchet up a few notches.

Unfortunately about a month ago that all changed.

I notice things in our little two-block stretch of paradise. Especially since I’m located on the third floor.

So it wasn’t too difficult too notice when every last available street parking space was taken up in the late afternoon on a Saturday night.

It also wasn’t too difficult to notice when about a dozen cars were parked in the vacant lot behind our home.

But it really wasn’t difficult to notice the excessive noise and bullshit taking place on our quiet street as afternoon stretched into evening and evening stretched into the next day.

While I took note of all of this, it was my neighbor Caustic who actually got the 411 on the situation.

Not only did she get the 411 but also dialed 911.

Squad cars and paddy wagon arrived not long thereafter.

It seems that the space is now being rented out for events. Which on it’s face is great, but if you don’t have a special use permit for the space that’s not so good.

Furthermore, if the people you’re renting the space to are either knuckleheads or disrespectful of our neighborhood---that’s a problem.

There are so many “what if’s.”

What if a promoted event exceeds capacity?

What if an emergency happens inside of the building? Do people know how to safely exit?

Those are just the first two questions in the front of my mind. Of course just by asking those questions others such as private security, rental guidelines and community standards pop into my head.

It appears that, at least on the surface, that the rental guidelines may need some tightening.

Now I loves me a good party. Hell I’ve been known to throw a few.

But I maybe have three or four a year---that was before I got laid off ---I always notified my downstairs neighbor in enough time so if they didn’t want 40-50 people walking over their heads they could make other plans.

Plus if you’re a guest in my house, you know you better act like you got some sense or a beat down will be coming your way.

I have to take too much shit outside of my home to put up with any foolishness inside my walls.

From what’s been seen so far, we’re not optimistic about the quality of events that may be held in the future.

So as a service to the decision maker(s) who green light the event rentals, you may want to use the few examples below as a guide:

Drop it like it’s hot rump shaker contest---No.

Eastern Star Five Point Tea---Yes.

Traveling male strip troupe featuring “Chocolate Thunder”---No.

State convention of the Missionary Society---Yes.

Any event that’s promoted with the phase, “Dress code strictly enforced, no hats or gym shoes.”---No
Community Meetings---Yes

With all of the foolishness that’s been going on lately, who wants to rattle the Tiger’s cage?

Let’s keep the warm weather months as drama free as possible.

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