3% Moves In

Since my layoff I've been able to closely observer the hoody hoo during the day.

Unlike previous years I've been a little surprised about how quiet it's been (thank you Chicago Police for beefing up the Hyde Park High School patrols) and how diverse our little piece of paradise has gotten.

That's just a nice way of saying where did all of my white neighbors come from.

I try not dwell on this subject even though I've written several posts about it, but anyone who thinks race dosen't continue to be an issue in the greater metropolitan Chicagoland area is trying to blow sunshine up your skirt.

Just today driving down Stony Island I was wondering where some of the white people I saw walking down the street came from.

Let me explain and give you some background.

When I moved down here in 2001, the University of Chicago had officially abandoned it's mantra cautioning people from going south of 60th Street. It was believed that traveling anywhere south of that boundary would be dangerous for it's students, faculty and staff.

Despite the reversal of policy, old perceptions die hard.

I quickly discovered that after a long day of moving and unpacking, I couldn't even get a pizza delivered.

At the time Peapod did not service my area.

It was made clear by the greater business community and most of the Hyde Park establishment that Woodlawn really didn't matter.

Fast forward six years and a different tune is being played.

While I still jokingly refer to Woodlawn as Hyde Park's ugly step sister, we are starting to get some love.

Apparantly that also translates into who now calls Woodlawn home.

I was taking a disco nap when the moving of furniture across the floor woke me up. I knew that my new neighbor(s) had arrived.

As usual I planted myself outside on the front balcony and almost passed out.

Sweet Fanny Adams, my new neighbor's white.

Jesus take the wheel.

I'm curious to know if she knows that most of us are of color and if that will be an issue. I don't anticipate it being one but people are strange.

And no I don't anticipate it being an issue with anyone who currently lives here.

I wonder if I should introduce her to the Cake?

Perhaps I should start with a "welcome to the association" and build from there.

For My Peeps

I'm all in with this Cub playoff run.

Mr. Kass was right, screw this curse thing---we've all got to put it all on the line and get behind our team.

No cautiously optistic. No "goat busters." Just unwaivering support for the team.

And if you ever start to let doubt creep in your mind, you can always remember these words to a hymn I used to sing in church:

"We've come this far by faith/Leaning on the Lord/Trusting in his holy word/He never failed me yet/ Oh, oh can't turn around---we've come this far by faith."

Slowly But Surely

The actual pouring of the cement for the sidewalk across the street is almost done. I would assume that the sod (or groundcover?) would go down by Wednesday of this week.

My only question is if sod is laid, who’s gonna water it? We all know sod needs to be tended like a newborn baby once it goes down. If not you might as well throw your money away.

Pictures will be posted soon. The new sidewalk looks awesome.

My downstairs neighbor is in the process of moving out. Apparently the deal has been struck for the sale of the unit.

Oh yeah, I got quoted in the Wall Street Journal. Go figure the reach of the blog.

Unemployment Follies

Yes, I’ve started the job hunt.

And not any half assed job hunt but an actual intensive, flat out search.

I’ve made to-do lists targeting technology search firms, friends in the business and friends in general who might know someone.

Resumes have gone out to everybody.

I’ve meet with the outplacement company that was retained by my former employer and am in the process of completing a second version of my resume.

Hell I’ve even purchased a suit from Talbot’s.

It’s a great deal of work but I’ve realized that I have to keep myself busy so I don’t fall into the “rut of unemployment.”

Next thing you know I’ll be wearing fuzzy house shoes in public.

I’m just amazed at the process one has to go through to receive any type of assistance---whether it be unemployment, a medical card or the link card (food stamps).

As I mentioned before there is a great deal of waiting and basic instructions involved.

You usually get spoken to as if you’re not very bright.

But in all fairness, it didn’t seem like there were too many Rhodes Scholars in the bunch when I went to apply for my services.

While my boundless optimism for steady employment and benefits remains high, the look of some of the people is the various social services offices I visited didn’t seem high in the sky.

In fact, there was a mixture of desperation mixed with resignation.

I hope I never have that look in my eyes.

I hope that I never lose my pluck and fight.

I hope that I never give up the ghost and resign myself to live off of the paltry hand out from the State of Illinois.

Let me acquaint you with what a middle class working person who has paid into “the system” since she was a wee lass gets when her company lays her off.

Better yet, let me tell you what I don’t get----health insurance.

Since I have no children or I’m not disabled I get nothing, nada, zilch.

I paid over $14,000 is payroll taxes last year and I can’t get a medical card in case the CTA bus I’m on gets rammed by a drunk driver?

Can you believe that?

I don’t plan on being on it for forever but it would be nice to serve as a stop gap between jobs.

Yes COBRA is an option but at $400 a month it’s not a very affordable one.

I opted for an identical policy to my former coverage offered by ehealthinsurance.com for roughly $240 a month.

Now I hate to let my inner Pat Buchanan out but it doesn’t seem fair that someone who’s contributed to the system can’t utilize it because I don’t fit the profile of someone who seeks assistance.

Moreover, why must you be either at death’s door or impoverished before the government helps you?

Wouldn’t there be a greater cost savings in preventative care and not having someone declare bankruptcy?

Just asking.

Yes my unemployment is coming through but I have to call in every two weeks to make sure I’m certified.

Trust me on this one, no one’s getting rich on $367 a week.

Then of course I’m not going to turn it down either.

Hell it’s easier to get a job than going through this drama. But I guess that’s the point, right?

Shocking

Well Ladies and Gentlemen it was bound to happen sometime.

A building that’s being converted by Carlton Knight has to have major corrective work performed after it’s already been on the market.

That isn’t that unusual believe it or not.

Many times individuals purchase into a “phase” of a condo development prior to all of the work being completed.

Then of course these associations usually tend to be larger than a six flat.

From what I understand three of the six units of the building have sold.

It does give one pause to wonder if the people who plunked down their hard earned cash knew that the permit to replace and/or repair the plumbing, the hot water fixtures, flooring and kitchen cabinets had the final data review on the 8th of this month?

I have to ask my friends who know this type of stuff if the data review is supposed to be completed prior to any sales.

Moreover, if the data review on a permit is completed after some people have already closed, what guarantees will they have to ever get a certificate of occupancy?

Just a few questions whirling about my little brain---don’t mind me.

Anyhoo…

The major corrective work on this building concerns the porches.

Apparently that bad boy isn’t up to current city code.

Hell, standing on my back porch and looking across the way I could of told them that.

Per the DCAP website it seems that an application has been submitted to replace an existing back porch.

Boy oh boy I bet that won’t come cheap.

Getting the new porch plans through DCAP, demolishing the existing porch and building a new porch is costly. I’m gonna ball park it at about $30,000-$40,000.

Of course you could do it on the cheap but this bad boy must pass a city inspection. A real city inspection---not the ones that happened with a wink and a nod back in the day.

See how the bad things that you do come back to bite you in the ass?

Karma is a mother, eh?

We’re getting a new sidewalk, Carlton has to come out of pocket for big money and the Cubs won another nail biter.

This is a good day.

It's Happening!

There’s heavy equipment in the middle of the street and a dumpster at the corner.

My neighbor’s Chrysler 300 just got towed.

There are at least three guys who work for the city standing around doing nothing. In their defense they are waiting for the rest of the cars to get towed from the side of the street the where the work will be performed.

Yup, it smells like parkway construction.

Ladies and Gentlemen, through this blog, you have a front row seat to the continued rebirth of Woodlawn.

I’m so excited I’m about to pee on myself.

If you see some lady in a red robe with a headscarf jumping up and down, don’t call the police just calmly approach and speak to me in soothing dulcet tones. Eventually I'll focus and calm down.

And if you happen to have a bottle of Veuve, well all’s the better.

The Closing

I have a neighbor who is attempting to sell her unit.

Unfortunately there is a bit of confusion concerning certain documents her buyer(s) need from the association for the closing to be scheduled.

Prior to my layoff I received a call from the buyer’s agent requesting all of the usual stuff---Decs & Bylaws, financial statements, a condo survey, paid assessment letter, which I personally delivered to the lender at Washington Mutual.

So imagine my surprise when I hear that a lawyer calls (for whom?) and gets quite agitated about the timeliness of the documentation provided by the association.

She further went on to state that she attempted calling another board member but they failed to get back to her.

At least on that point she’s correct.

Some people on the board aren’t the best with follow through. They like to paint themselves more as managers and idea people than workers---chiefs rather than Indians if you like that analogy; but if you ask me they’re just downright lazy.

But that’s another post for another day.

Nonetheless the lawyer was giving major attitude.

My neighbor who took the call was not happy about this interruption to her workday.

The irony is that she isn’t even on the board but still takes a very active role in the management of our home.

If I understood her rather pointed e-mail, neither she nor her treasurer husband will provide any more assistance regarding the sale of this unit.

While her reaction and decision serves as no surprise---mama has quite the temper---when I spoke with her a few days after the e-mail she did make a valid point.

Our neighbor has hardly ever come to board meetings. When she did, the meetings usually concerned rising assessments, our special assessment or renter rules.

A few years ago when the clarion call went out for maintenance help she was nowhere to be found. She may have contributed a few cleaning items but my memory is fuzzy on that point.

The kicker is that she’s some type of engineer (if memory serves me correctly) and never once spoke up to throw in her two cents about our porch project.
As we all know, you have no obligations other than to pay your assessments and show a begrudging respect for your neighbors when you live in an association.

But as most of us have learned, it never hurts to build up good will with the people you live around. It doesn’t mean you have to love them but pitching in to help out ever so often won’t hurt.

As an association it seems like we’ve been dealing with two different buyers and we’ve made every accommodation to comply with their requests for information.

Frankly speaking it seems like no one is coordinating the acquisition or dispersal of condo documents on the seller’s side.

She should have a copy of the Decs & Bylaws. If she knew she was selling she (or her property manager) should have asked in advance for the association financials.

I’ve sold a place before so I know the onus to make sure the gathering and distribution of these documents shouldn’t be on the association.

But this behavior by my soon to be former neighbor isn’t surprising.

When you’ve contributed nothing of yourself or your talents, don’t be surprised when people aren’t exactly falling all over themselves to help you.

Potpourri

Take a little time to remember, reflect and celebrate those people that didn’t come home from work six years ago today.


In a few hours I’m getting a new member of the household, his name is Midas and he’ll be my new cat. Or should I say I’ll be his new girl.

I was given the green light by the Chicago Anti-Cruelty Society yesterday in an application process that would put the FBI to shame; the only thing I didn’t have to do is take a drug test and get hooked up to a lie detector.

But you do need to protect the furry ones from the nut cases of the world.


The transportation department came out yesterday and marked off the crappy sidewalks on the north side of the street. I’m almost reluctant to believe it, but I finally think after all of these years of pissing and moaning that the sidewalks across the street are about to be redone.

Easy Come, Easy Go, Part II

The Porch People are out.

TATI, City Cleaners and Style Central are in.

With the exception of City Cleaners---and that’s only because they don’t have a website---my new retail friends are now added to the links list to the left.

As much as I bitch about the lack of goods and services in the ‘hood, these three small businesses are beacons of hope in the south side retail wilderness.

Large national retailers take note.

TATI is a great bicycle shop on Hyde Park Blvd. Not only can the mild mannered proprietor fix your bike, he can also make recommendations on the best bike for your body type.

If you have enough cash, he can even build a bike for you from scratch.

But that’s not what makes this little shop special.

I rarely run into anyone who’s just so happy go lucky---much less a small business owner. The perils and pitfalls of making a go of a business is harrowing; usually small business owners can be found mumbling to themselves looking disheveled.

Not this cat.

His business hours are somewhat unorthodox, when he’s open he closes everyday at 3:00 PM for an hour for tea time.

As if that weren't enough, get a load of this.

When I didn’t have the money to pay for repairs on my bike he told me just come back and give it to him later.

I almost passed out right then and there.

It was only a $10 bike part but who performs a service and lets someone they don’t know walk out the door without paying?

Trust me folks, they don’t make ‘em like that anymore.

City Cleaners has several satellites in Hyde Park but I’m a fan on the actual plant at 7159 South Stony Island.

Coincidentally they are located across the street from south side icon Moo & Oink.

Not only can they do quality work, their prices are fair and they have Sunday hours.

You heard me correctly---a dry cleaners that has Sunday hours.

For those of us who have wacky schedules, a dry cleaner that’s open on Sundays is a god send.

Now be warned, since the actual plant is on the premises it’s hotter than hell in there during the warmer months.

Trust me a little sweat is worth the value.

Last but not least are my new friends at Style Central.

I discovered them when I was running errands up in Hyde Park last week. They’re what’s know as a “lifestyle” store.

You know the type of store that has all of those little nick nacky things that make a house a home.

I was thrilled as I went through their offerings and found scented candles that I really liked.

What makes it even sweeter is that I don’t have to leave the south side to get my beloved stinky girl candles.

Now if I could only get stuff closer to my house…

Easy Come, Easy Go

Yes, I’m still dealing with the repairs to our back porches.

Lucky for the association I’m unemployed and can spare the time to make sure these repairs are done properly.

Now the Porch People did come out about a week and a half ago and made 95% of the needed repairs.

It’s just that last 5% that needs to be completed.

Naturally the only person who was bilingual (English & Polish) had to leave the site; my attempts to communicate with the rest of the crew was futile.

They only did what the bilingual master carpenter directed them to do. Any further repairs weren’t going to happen that day.

I was on the phone to the Porch People before the work crew left our property.

The rest of the repairs needed to be scheduled so we could be done with this business.

Of course a game of phone tag ensued.

It seems that my phone calls to the master carpenter were about as useful as dialing for Oprah tickets.

As luck would have it, the office manager is out for a few weeks.

My persistent phone calls to the office paid off as someone else finally picked up the office manager’s messages.

He said that he would have to check schedules but the work should be able to get done shortly.

I’m kind of afraid what “shortly” means.

It’s because of the Porch People’s crappy follow up they will be banished from my links at the left side of the page.

Anyone can love you when you give them $90,000 of your money, but who’s gonna slap your ass and call you Sally when you call them on the mat about the quality of their goods?

Moreover, who’s gonna give the love when the aforementioned goods need follow up care?

This blog aside, I know tons of people. When I like what you do I can (and will) talk you up.

There are so many people and businesses that get professional referrals off of me it’s absolutely ridiculous.

Apparently the Porch People won’t be one of them.

Bender

Excuse my absence of late. I’ve been on a bender for the past week or so.

I figure my 39th birthday and a layoff are a good enough reasons to tip a few back.

Now granted a week and a half might have been a little excessive but hey you only live once.

Despite my partying ways, I did manage to act like an adult for part of the time and get some important business done and make some neighborhood observations.

First and foremost the mortgage deal is done.

That sound you hear is the collective sigh of relief that I won’t be shown the door---literally.

The best my mortgage company could do is to give me another ARM with a much lower interest rate.

I know, I know---it’s another ARM loan but at least it buys me a year or so. I can only pray that all these new condos being built sell like hotcakes so my property value shoots back up so I can refinance.

Did I mention how beautiful eastern Woodlawn is?

The worst-case scenario is that my mortgage goes up another $100 a month for another year. So that’s not too bad.

It’s better than the alternative that I was facing.

And yes I lobbied hard for a fixed rate with reasonable terms but that idea got the heave ho.

After all I’ve been trying to thread this needle since March.

But at least it’s done and I can rest a little easier.

I also applied for unemployment between cocktails.

For those of you who’ve had exposed to the public aid sector in the great state of Illinois it will not come as any surprise to you when I proclaim that no matter how special you may think you are, you will still be treated the same in the eyes of the employees of these respective offices---like you’re an idiot.

But in all fairness some of the clients of these services aren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.

So I guess it’s safe to assume that starting with the basics is the best route.

Nonetheless, I was in the unemployment office for three---count ‘em---three hours last Tuesday.

God that sucked.

But it had to be done.

Since I have no money coming in, it might behoove me to make the magic happen.

Don’t worry (yet) my resume is being reviewed by my HR friend and I hope to have it out on the streets tomorrow.

If all goes well, I’ll be working in October.

Until then my only question is where did all these blonde stay at home moms come from? Woodlawn is crawling---well at least for Woodlawn---with Lakeview/Lincoln Park type moms with $300 strollers.

The things you see when you’re home during the day.

Patience

The Porch People and I seem to have a huge communication gap lately.

Not too long after I wrote my last Porch People post, I received a return phone call from my contact and an appointment was set with the master carpenter.

Of course at the appointed time he didn’t show up.

I was fit to be tied. Saying I was pissed was an understatement.

I put a phone call into my contact that very day.

Since the appointment was for last Saturday, my contact and I played phone tag on Monday.

Oh---did I mention that the appointment was set on August 9th? A full nine---count ‘em nine days before the actual appointment on August 18th.

Can you believe that bullshit?

Adding insult to injury, one of the phone messages I received from my contact was that the master carpenter actually was there and left notes on what needed to be repaired or replaced.

We paid that company $90,000 for our porches and the level of communication that we receive on follow up problems takes the form of a note left on a porch?

Are you kidding me?

I was also told that he showed up at our association around 9:25 A.M. because of “traffic.”

Our appointment was at 9:00 A.M.

It was at that exact moment my head spun around.

What happened to professionalism? Moreover what happened to common courtesy?

And at the very least what the fuck happened to calling when you were late?

I took me a full day to calm down so I could clearly and more importantly---civilly speak to my contact.

I informed him that his master carpenter being late due to traffic wasn’t my problem. When an appointment is set---it’s set. And if for some “good” reason you’re going to be late, you at least have the common courtesy to call and let someone know.

Personally speaking I think these jokers are trying to blow smoke up my ass.

I have a feeling that the master carpenter didn’t want to get off of his can and schlep down to the south side.

We have a porch that’s roughly 18th months old and has questionable structural issues and a company that seemingly doesn’t want to do anything to correct their mistakes.

I’m quickly losing my patience with this situation and the Porch People.

Survey?

I went and took the T.W.O. Neighbor survey on Saturday and quickly realized that it may not have been targeted for the working professional.

Then of course I may be wrong.

A vast majority of the questions were aimed at pinpointing employment skill sets.

Do you have a trade? Have you ever been a home health care worker? Do you have office skills?

In light of my looming unemployment, these questions are very pertinent.

Nonetheless I was surprised at not only the skill set questions but the questions concerning the neighborhood quality of life issues, general quality of life issues and affordable housing.

When a list of questions was ticked off about neighborhood concerns and retail and/or services wasn’t among them I found it odd.

I finished the survey and received a $10.00 Target gift card.

That came right on time as I just ran out of laundry detergent.

I mentioned to my friend that in my opinion it seemed that none of the questions were geared toward professionals or the non-existent retail presence in Woodlawn.

He listened and said, “That’s because they want to know about the potential pool of workers in the neighborhood.”

I sat stunned by his assessment.

When I asked why this survey was commissioned and what it hoped to achieve, I was given a stock answer of “community improvement.”

How this information was going to improve the community or what was going to be done with it wasn’t clearly defined or explained.

In fact I couldn’t get any information about the services that the T.W.O. was running out of the former all girls’ Catholic school next door to my building or a contact name for that matter.

When I commented that since Rev. Finney’s church left a few years ago, the upkeep of the property has been questionable at best, I was referred to my alderman and city services.

If you’re thinking what I was thinking at the time---I was a bit amazed by the answer as well.

And now that I’m thinking about it---I didn’t get a chance to interface with my neighbors.

As you came in and signed the sign-in sheet, the survey was administered by a T.W.O. volunteer/representative so you never got to kibbutz with anyone else.

What’s the point of holding a neighbor open house if you don’t get to say hey to the neighbors?

Very curious, no?

So it looks like T.W.O. may not be advocating for a dry cleaner for the eastern part of Woodlawn anytime soon.

Woodlawn Alert

The Woodlawn Organization (T.W.O.) is holding a Neighbor to Neighbor Open House on Saturday, August 18th, Tuesday, August 21st & Thursday, August 23.

Billed as an information-exchange gathering, community residents are encouraged to learn about T.W.O. and also participate in the Woodlawn Survey.

Personally I think this may be a great way for people that have been living next door or around the corner from each other to actually meet and to also reassess our rapidly changing community’s demographic.

If we’re lucky perhaps T.W.O. will persuade a cleaner to relocate or open in the eastern section of the ‘hood.

Can you tell that my fine garments are piling up by the door?

Dates, times & locations of the various open houses are below:


Saturday, August 18th
12:00-4:00 P.M.
1445 East 65th Street, Chicago, IL
Jackson Parkside Apartments 6040 South Harper, Chicago, IL
Berry Manor Apartments, 737 East 69th Street, Chicago, IL


Tuesday, August 21st
4:30-7:30 P.M.
1445 East 65th Street, Chicago, IL
Jackson Parkside Apartments 6040 South Harper, Chicago, IL
Berry Manor Apartments, 737 East 69th Street, Chicago, IL
WECDC, 950 East 61st Street, Chicago, IL


Thursday, August 23rd
4:30-7:30 P.M.
1445 East 65th Street, Chicago, IL
Jackson Parkside Apartments 6040 South Harper, Chicago, IL
WECDC, 950 East 61st Street, Chicago, IL
Harris Chicago Park District, 62nd & Drexel, Chicago, IL

New Friends

Say hey to some new blogging friends I made at Hyde Park Progress, The North Coast & The Chicago Bubble Blog.

They all stumbled upon my humble offering and apparently liked what they read.

Coasty has been especially verbal---leaving messages and chatting via the comments section, but Bubbly & HPP have given the love as well.

I added their links over to the left for easy perusal.

When time allows, give them a read. I think that you’ll enjoy or at the very least become informed of the myriad of issues in different 'hoods.

Does This Mean I’m Going To Have To Start Closing My Blinds?

I told you the ‘hood is blowing up.

Now it’s a long way from being a done deal but our friends at Hyde Park Progress have let the cat out of the bag about a proposed high rise at 64th & Stony Island.

Naturally I’d like to see more about the tower and its potential impact on the neighborhood.

The proposed building will be a block away from the crib so I need to know if they’ll have parking.

And if they also happened to have a pool that the public could use---that would be great too.

Granted, I’ll probably be married with kids before this project even breaks ground.

But isn’t nice to know that Woodlawn’s getting some love?

South side stand up.

Temperature Gauge

Much is happening in the hoody hoo right now.

It’s real estate-o-rama Woodlawn style.

A unit below me is getting ready to close next week. I can only imagine the (low) price that it’s selling for.

That sound you hear is my property value dropping.

And while I’m on that topic, a building on my block that I thought was a six flat is on the market as well.

Some dumb ass thought it was a good idea to take that beautiful building---which I suspect was built to house people for the Columbia Exposition---and put a bootleg wall up in the middle of the marble foyer and make it into two three flats.

Philistines. Why do these people even exist?

So the western three flat is on the market for $375K.

Note that it’s right next to the a condo “association” that my developer did, but four or five of the units went into foreclosure and have been on the market for almost two years.

Candidly speaking, if I had the money I’d buy a few units myself.

That all being said, there are signs of life that Woodlawn hasn’t given up the ghost real estate wise.

While the Living Green Lofts have yet to break ground, foundations have been poured for what appears to be two new condo developments on the southwest corner of Blackstone and 65th place.

And yes, that head you see peeking from the third floor of the back porches across the street is mine.

65th place and Dorchester seem to be the new building hot spots in my neck of the woods.

Now you can say if you build it they will come, but philosophy and reality are two different things.

I’m interested to see how quickly units will sell.

Moreover, I’ll click my heels if the units sell anywhere near the listing prices.

One word: Equity.

Four more words: I told you so.

I’ve chronicled the ups and downs of my humble existence for almost two years. Despite the drama my neighbors and I have gone through, you’ve never heard me say that Woodlawn wasn’t worth the struggle.

I love where I live. I love my pile of bricks. I love my view and I love the south side.

But don’t confuse my south side love with being a Sox fan.

I have no doubt that all of us will come out on top.

And when we do, whether it takes five years or fifty years, I’ll look like a genius.

In the interim it would be nice if a local dry cleaner would open up to clean a sister’s cashmere sweaters.

So it with some dread and renewed interest that I’m watching the ‘hood around me right now.

While the values may be depressed right now, I honestly believe that they’ll go from zero to sixty and it will take everyone by surprise.

Except for me.

Didn't I Just Say That

Chicago magazine (and frankly anyone with good sense) has also noted the damage done to property values due to foreclosures in "emerging" neighborhoods.

One way to minimize any condo association's risk is to lock it down and make it owner occupied only.

That's not to say that owner occupied units won't wind up in foreclosure, but it's my humble opinion that you'll be a little more motivated to save the roof over your head vs. saving the roof over your tennant's head.

I'm just saying...

Excuse Me?

Would you believe that we’re getting the cold shoulder from the Porch People?

Can you imagine that phone calls or e-mails aren’t being returned---by anyone?

That after almost two years a brand new porch with what was supposed to be constructed of high quality lumber is severely splitting.

And I can’t get a return phone call?

To add insult to injury now the “answering service” is picking up.

This must be a bad dream. Is someone pulling my leg?

Perhaps I’m overreacting. Perhaps they have a European mentality about vacation and they’re taking the month of August off.

Or perhaps we’re getting the shaft.

And if we are getting the shaft do they think that I personally don’t have every step of this process documented five ways to Sunday?

They have to know that I have every e-mail and every contract about our business together.

That I will go to the department of Consumer affairs and the news papers at the drop of a hat.

I hope I get a return phone call soon---like before the end of business on Friday.

If not, I’ll consider the gauntlet thrown down and it’s on like donkey kong.

You’re not taking $90,000 of our money and giving us substandard work.

I don’t think so.

What I’ve Learned

Believe it or not after months of determined pestering and a lucky break or two, my mortgage mess is finally settling down.

My mortgage company has the foresight to understand that all of a reduced amount is better than nothing at all.

But seriously folks, I’ve dodged a major bullet and am thanking the Lord that I still have a roof over my head.

So as a public service to you kids, I’m going to part with some lessons that I’ve learned about Chicago real estate.


1. Your home is not a piggy bank.

Don’t assume that the value of your home will continue to increase exponentially. Eventually all of these sky high values will shake out and come back down to earth.


2. Just because you got lucky once doesn’t mean lightning will strike again.

Yeah you may have sold your “started condo” for over twice the price you paid for it but that type of success rarely repeats itself every two to three years. Don’t think that you’ll be able to do that every time you want to sell or refinance.


3. Adjustable Rate and Interest Only Mortgages are the devil.

If you ever get one of these mortgages, please read the fine print and fully understand what you’re signing. You know how grandma always said you’ve got to pay the devil his due? Well those cloven footprints in the flower bed weren’t made by the dog. The devil wants you to pay up. Right now.


4. The ‘hood matters.

If you start seeing more than three foreclosures within a half mile radius of your home you probably shouldn’t plan on using your equity to send the tots off to college. As much as it pains me to inform you of this but the value of your home is about to take a nose dive---big time.

The aforementioned ARM mortgages, shady financing and mortgage fraud has hit everywhere but “emerging” neighborhoods where housing stock is less expensive are more vulunerable.

In short, a neighborhood (such as Woodlawn) is trying to turn itself around by attracting middle class home owners. Since the prices are usually lower than a similar unit in Lakeview or Lincoln Park, investors swarm all over newly renovated or newly built condo developments.

If you have an over leveraged legitimate home owner or a shady investor, everyone in the neighborhood will feel the pain of their bad decisions for years to come.

When the shit starts hitting the fan and units (or single family homes) start to get foreclosed upon the financial blood bath begins.

I should know, I’ve been living through it and writing about it for the past two years. It ain’t pretty.


Man, if I knew then what I know now…