Spirit of Cooperation

Remember earlier in the month I asked if we could "build a bridge, get over ourselves and be able to conduct association business?"

Judging by the scathing letter sent by The Teacher last night, clearly the answer is no.

This letter was addressed to our association president with most of the other owners cc'd in:

"How soon can we expect the problem to move from "being addressed" to actually "being fixed." I'm not certain if we are talking about the same door, but I am talking about the front door to your building. I'm not sure if you have noticed that it is beyond an electrical issue, the actual lock handle is getting stuck, not the buzzer. I hope you do not tell an electrician to fix it when it should also be a lock repair person who can give you an assessment of the problem and the cost to fix it. I am curious as to who told you it was a weather related electrical problem? Have you gotten a second opinion? If not, you should probably get a second opinion because it is clearly a lock/handle issues also, not just weather related. Last week when the weather got up to the 40's, was it not still stuck? I ask because as a unit owner, I want to make sure my assessment payments are used wisely for things to get done correctly the first time around.

This is not just an "inconvenience," as you describe it. It is a serious fire safety, hazardous issue that must be fixed as soon as possible, especially with children in your building who, on an emergency basis, may need to exit without having a cell phone or access to the back. Please notify me if your repair person does not fix the problem today, as you indicated in the posted sign, so that I can be sure to follow up with you.

Also, what is the status of the Federal ID numbers that you said last month you would resolve? Any movement on that end, it is tax time after all and we still do not have a correct tax #?

When can unit owners expect a meeting again? The bylaws indicate that we should have meet in January, but unit owners have not received anything related to a board meeting. Given that you expressed your thorough knowledge of the bylaws at the last board meeting, I am curious as to why you have not taken the steps needed to have the required January meeting? After all, adhering to the bylaws was a HUGE concern at the last meeting, as you may recall.

I am also wondering what is the hold up with the board supplying the unit owners with an annual budget. I know I typed up a draft for you a month ago and the board reviewed it at the subcommittee meeting. Do you still need more help to hold a meeting to approve the budget for distribution to unit owners? It is also in the bylaws, which you appeared to be well versed in at the last meeting, to provide annual budget for unit owners. Do you need more help with that too? Please let me know.

Also, what is the status of the management company? Unit owners want to know, and need to know, if we are indeed getting a management company. Ironically enough, the people who are complaining about not having a management company are usually the same people who can't even afford to pay their assessments! In any event, I know that having a management company was a huge concern for you, me, and several other unit owners at the last meeting. If I recall correctly, it was you and your daughter who were the most vocal in insisting on a management company. Now that you are the board president, what is the delay with getting a management company?

Finally, are you aware if there has been any progress on ANY of the violations? What steps are you taking, as president, to ensure that we are ready for the next court date? Please let me know.

Although we are not on the board, XXXX, XXXX, and I (a few others, too), we have been very active in trying to get quotes for the board. Have you attempted to get any quotes also, since you are the president? Maybe XXXX can help, if she is not too busy? XXXX was very concerned about board issues at the last meeting and maybe that can translate into something positive, actual work with the board, now that you are board president? Maybe, just a thought? In reality, right now, it looks like the board needs all the help it can get, so really, ANYONE who can get a quote would be great. Please let me know.

You now know that being on the board is a constant amount of work, so thank you for stepping up to the plate and being the board president to lead in the resolution of all these problems. Unless of course, if you pass off the work to other people who are not on the board, then that is simply passing the buck! But I am certain you won't make that foolish mistake of passing board work off to nonboard members, because people will complain about it behind your back, as some already have, and start talking about your inability to follow-up. Just so you are aware.

The only other thing I can say is......I sure am glad I'm not on the board, it's too much work! I know that you can now finally appreciate the amount of work it takes!

Thanks again."

Thanks again?

Wow...

I can't imagine why our condo board meetings are filled with tension and drama.

The Teacher was certainly on a roll yesterday. That wasn't the only thing she had on her mind.

Things Fall Apart, The Chickens Come Home To Roost

One afternoon there was a knock at my door.

Imagine my surprise when I saw The Teacher on the other side.

Neighborly feelings have been in short supply since the bad neighbor dustup in the fall of '08.

While I was sorely tempted to walk away from the door, I answered it with a noticeable attitude.

And before everyone gets pissy, please note that I've gone across the hall and knocked on my neighbor's door only to hear someone come to the door, see them peep out the peephole and hear them walk away.

I'm just trying to give you all some background, but I digress.

So there we were, face to face.

The Teacher proceeded to briefly tell me what had been said in the condo board meeting; some of which was directed at her.

I was taken aback not only at the highly personal nature of the barb but the fact that since I was only one of two people who knew about the revelation, the information more than likely came from me.

Understandably the verbal attack upset her and as she was telling me this story, she started to cry.

At the time when I was talking to her I told her that I didn't reveal the information but as I sat and pondered afterward, there is no way that the information didn't come from me.

And that was some low down gut bucket bullshit.

My mama taught me better. There are no excuses for my actions.

Then I started to ponder a little bit more.

I was (and am) totally in the wrong.

But I get a knock at the door when her feelings are hurt? Hot tempers and words said in haste are of importance only when they're directed at her?

I felt a bit of manipulation rising to the surface.

While I don't doubt that her feelings about the comment were real and sincere, don't go getting all concerned about civility when some of the shit you've been throwing at the fan splatters back on you.

Clearly the animosity directed toward her by some members of our little association wern't by accident.

When you talk crazy to people and let your temper get the better of you, that's bound to have some ramifications in the long run.

My question is can we build a bridge, get over ourselves and be able to conduct association business?

Only time will tell.

Things Fall Apart, The Drama

The battle lines were drawn.

Hackles were raised.

It was only a matter of time before a match dropped into this powder keg of hurt feelings and bruised emotions.

Boy howdy, did it ever.

From what I understand thinly veiled accusation were made about the handling of association finances. The bait was taken and that led to a personal attack against the individual who voiced the thinly veiled accusation.

And so on and so forth.

It got ugly. Real ugly. Real quick.

Aside from the childishness of such an exchange, comments like that had (and have) no place in any association meeting.

I get that you may not have the warmest feelings toward your neighbor but if I could sit next to my developer when he chose to come to meetings and not loose my shit; then everyone else can grin and bear it.

Moreover, personal attacks and bickering mean that association business can't get done. If business can't get done we can't move forward on several important topics that need our immediate attention.

Such as a fellow owner who doesn't see fit to pay their assessments.

And when I say not paying their assessments, I don't mean not slowly paying because your unemployed like me.

I mean not paying because they "don't understand what assessments are for."

I'm not sure if it occurred to anyone within this little melodrama that the fires of animosity may be actively stoked to throw the scent off other outstanding business.

And when I say outstanding business I mean delinquent assessments.

What bothers me the most is that a confidence that was entrusted to me was one of those extremely personal zingers exposed at that meeting.

While I don't remember ever repeating this confidence, after the incident was brought to my attention and much thought, it is unlikely that the information came from anyone else.

Plus my name was brought up as the source of the information.

That's how you know this shit is running deep.

I've been privileged to be entrusted with a great deal of information from many people.

And as relationships tend to go, sometimes you have disagreements big or small with your peeps.

But I've managed to keep the lid on where several bodies are buried despite pissing someone off or being pissed off. It's important that people vent. As the saying goes, no man (or woman) is an island.

Unless you're under subpoena, you need to keep the highly personal stuff out of the gossip mill.

That's how crazy all of this has gotten.

Now I'm telling tales out of school.

Things Fall Apart, The Back Story

Drama has been brewing within our association for some time.

Without getting into any specifics, their was a perception among some owners that communication within the association was sorely lacking.

Moreover, when there was a request for information it wasn't exactly answered in a timely manner.

Now I took into account that anyone can manipulate a story to suit their needs and that I'm sure several key facts were left out.

Nonetheless out of everything that was said to me by several different people, the animosity was always directed towards the same person.

One would think that someone might be trying to manipulate me or maybe I'm just lucky that people feel the need to unburden their souls to yours truly.

Who can tell?

Now there are things you should know.

First, the drama is between a group of women.

Second, it's my opinion that it wasn't so much the lack of communication but the manner in which the inquiries were received.

You see not everyone has control of their temper.

When the manner of how you conduct association business is questioned and probed by people who really haven't stepped up to the plate, yeah you're gonna be pissed.

Trust me, I know.

Add that to a potential bad day AND a temper and you've got the beginnings of an in-house fight.

Since I myself have seen the "Mr. Hyde" side of this individual's personality, I never thought it out of the realm of possibility that others may have felt it's wrath.

So let's recap:

We have a bunch of women in a condo association with hurt feelings, misunderstandings and animosities between them.

What could possibly go wrong with that scenario?

Moreover who would attempt to capitalize on this chaos?

Things Fall Apart

Drama is afoot within the association.

While I've seen infighting before, it has now reached such a vitriolic levels we can't get any business done.

Which isn't good when you have important business that needs to be conducted.

And when I say vitriolic I mean highly personal attacks during condo board meetings.

Highly personal.

So feelings have been hurt and lines have been drawn.

Since I haven't been to a single meeting in quite awhile I'm going on what has been communicated to me by others and by those who send me e-mails.

Because as I'm sure you all remember, I decided to absolve myself of helping with any condo business partly due to nasty confrontation with a neighbor last year.

But that wasn't only the straw that broke the camel's back.

Mostly the apathy of most of my fellow owners pissed me off to no end. Everyone wants everything done yesterday but isn't willing to truly commit to the effort.

So fuck it.

I'd never asked for a dime of payment for my efforts but being taken for granted and then being told that you're a bad neighbor was just too much.

I rarely get too emotional. I'm not a yeller or a screamer by nature so often people mistake me looking at them like they're crazy as a sign of passiveness.

Losing ones cool often leads to larger drama and who needs that?

But once you're on the list---once you've reached my limit---game on.

Then it's scorched earth.

I'm not proud of that personality trait but I realize that I fall extremely short of God's grace.

It wasn't until a few days ago that I didn't understand how far I'd fallen.

It's Always Something

Like most people, I have some neighbors that only speak to me when they need something.

A phone number of another neighbor. A key to the basement. I'm usually persona non grata until their needs come front and center.

That's not to say that there aren't a few great people who live in my association.

Neighbors who will pick me up when they see me on the bus stop, or take me along with them when they go to a big box store. Kind simple gestures that show a basic level of humanity and consideration.

And don't think for one minute that I'm making my neighbor's responsible for hauling my ass from point A to point B. I have a Chicago Card and a shopping cart, thank you very much.

But it sure is nice to give righty and lefty a break and every now and then.

So after the "Great Assessment Debacle" last fall, I made the decision to pull away from caring about my condo association.

Why in God's name would I care about our home more than a majority of the people who live here?

It's not just their attitude towards me that sticks in my craw---I've got thick skin. It's their complete lack of willingness to help in the smallest way for the betterment of our home.

Let me emphasize that again---OUR home.

Stuff doesn't get done around here by hoping and magic fairy dust.

While I have my issues with our treasurer and his wife, I will give them their props for doing a great deal of work on behalf of this association.

But then of course so have I and a few other people.

Unfortunately that spirit of cooperation nd a tiny bit of sacrifice is sorely lacking among a majority of my neighbors.

Which makes our latest set of issues quite interesting.

Zing

About a month ago, the bricks came raining down from the façade on the Blackstone side of our building.




Yes, dear readers---we’re having façade issues again.

Except this time it was a different section.

Once again we were lucky that no one got hurt. But unlike the last time, our little mishap didn’t go unnoticed.

Hence the love note from the city.

How did I find out?

Easy---the city sent out the notifications to the last information that they had on file. Seeing that no one has bothered to file an annual report or bothered to change our registered agent with the state, the city decided to send notification to anyone they could find.

That included my address.

Now before I get on my soap box, I will acknowledge a few things in defense of my neighbors who are doing the heavy lifting.

The focus at the time was on paying off our existing special assessment and continuously following up on those members severely behind in their monthly assessments.

That hand you see being raised would be mine. Guilty as charged.

The rigors of dealing with association business and your own personal life has been known to drive a person batty. Trust me, I’ve been there.

Watching your lay about neighbors make excuse after excuse on why they either won’t or can’t help; listening to empty promise after empty promise can wear on your nerves.

I can understand the frustration for those of you who take the mantle of leadership upon your shoulders.

I can also understand why you’d want to slap the living dog piss out of your neighbors.

Nonetheless, the burden is yours to bear until you say you don’t want it anymore.

So as long as you control the money or are on the board---you have a fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interest of the association.

That means filing the correct paperwork with governmental bodies.

That means applying for the refuse rebate from the city.

That means following up on capital projects despite the fact that no one wants to hear about another special assessment.

Because when you don’t----well---you have our little situation.

I personally used to handle those initially insignificant tasks that come back to bite you in the ass but personal matters got in the way.

Then the unemployment.

Then I was told I was a bad neighbor.

At that point, I decided why should I use my talents and connections for people who don’t fully appreciate them?

I’ve showed everyone what was needed to be done.

If you’re too busy or too lazy to print out a piece of paper, fill it out and find supporting documentation---shame on you.

I’m done enabling a group of grown ups.

I know it’s not all about me. I simply dug down deeper than most are willing to do and found the answers we needed for our multiples situations.

It’s not like I’m curing cancer.

But it appears that in my absence, things have been handled in a less than efficient manner.

Your condo is your home, you have to treat the association like a business.

Or at the very least insure that the city doesn’t come snooping around.

Make no mistake ladies and gentlemen, we have completely stepped in it---the proverbial shit is getting ready to hit the fan.

My concern is that when we get these violations repaired that our cash strapped city will find new ones.

If the city is trying to collect on Bears season ticket holders PSL's, anything's possible.

I predict that this is not gonna turn out well.

Not Good

Per my Twitter post yesterday, we received this "love note" from the city.



Jesus take the wheel.

The backstory about this avoidable mess will follow in short order.

The Bad Neighbor

I am a bad, thoughtless neighbor.

Again.

Or at least that's how my fellow board member who also happens to be my treasurer's wife sees it.

My 11 month unemployment jag was no secret.

And while I've been working for a little over three months, playing catch up on debt is a bitch. Frankly speaking, I knew that it would probably take six to nine months to get back to zero.

And yes, I am behind on my assessments.

Note: When I say behind I mean BEHIND.

I, of all people, know that good intentions don't pay a condo association's bills. Moreover I was one of several board members who voted for tougher rules on owners that fall behind on their assessments.

Irony is a motherfucker.

Like it or lump it I was (and am) behind in my assessments and had have limited e-mail conversations with our association treasurer about the actual amounts that were owed.

He said it was one amount, I disagreed and said it was another.

Because how can I start to formulate a repayment plan when I didn't have a starting out figure?

In all honesty our treasurer wasn't too swift about getting back to me and I was too busy trying to figure out how to keep a roof over my head and my utilities on.

Then I got my current position and set about making nicey with ComEd, Peoples Gas & AT&T.

But guess what happened?

Our treasurer's wife, let's call her The Teacher, jumped in the fray.

At first she called and stated that a lien could be placed on my unit.

And while I assured her that I would pay up as quickly as possible, at least things were somewhat cordial.

That changed a few weeks ago.

'Cause The Teacher took it from business to personal.

Legally Speaking

Boy oh boy do I get e-mails and comments.

While I read all of them, I rarely respond to individual requests or queries via the blog.

And by rarely I do really mean rarely.

But today is the day I diverge from standard operating procedure.

Why?

‘Cause if I get one more e-mail inquiring about reasonable and competent legal services, I’m gonna scream.

So kind readers, let me introduce you to John Elias, esq. lawyer extraordinaire.

John has represented me in two real estate transactions, is the lawyer for our condo association and is very experienced in the breath of condominium law in the state of Illinois.

And yes, he’s a personal friend.

Despite the fact I’ve know him for nearly ten years, I can honestly say this kid’s top drawer. Not only is he good but he also has a high work ethic.

Plus any lawyer who stayed with us during the foreclosures, liens and learning how to run our home as a business deserves a medal.

Child please.

So look to the left to find a link to his website.

If you tell him I referred you, your association will receive a free hour consultation.

Yes a free hour consultation----for your association, not you. So don’t go in there with a personal ax to grind. Remember, your unit is your home but the association is a business.

It wouldn’t hurt if you adhered to the following tips prior to making an appointment:

Make sure all of the members of your association board can be present

Have a copy of your declarations and bylaws at the meeting.

There is never a thing as too much paperwork. Executed contracts, turnover documentation and dates are extremely helpful.

If you feel this topic needs to be addressed, disclosure of your financial situation.

Prepare all of your questions and concerns prior to the meeting.

You’d be surprised at how quickly an hour can pass when you’re with a lawyer.

And no, I don’t know his hourly rate. He doesn’t ask me how much money I make (hint: That would be zero as I’m unemployed) and I don’t ask him how he runs his business.

I’m just saving you the trouble of asking.

But as with anything, please do your due diligence. Check (or ask) him about his education and credentials, how long he’s been practicing real estate law and any other thing that pops into your head.

Just because I’m giving him the thumbs up doesn’t mean you should follow me blindly.

‘Cause frankly speaking----isn’t that what got you all in your predicament in the first place?

Randoms

If Senator Obama needs to further distance himself from Tony Rezko by giving away more money, I’m all in.

An unemployed sister could use a couple of bucks as my funds are about down to zero.

It’s expensive keeping up the house AND drying cleaning bills for interview suits.

I’ll make it for February but March is gonna be interesting.

I might get a temporary reprieve if I get a huge tax refund. It might be nice if my former employer would get off their ass and send my W-2 & 1099.



When I went to the opera on Monday I was yelled at by P.E.T.A. protesters.

I know---you’re thinking opera & fur can’t necessarily equal bleak poverty.

But let me explain, prior to my layoff I split a partial subscription with my “opera buddy.”

The resale market for opera tickets is slight but not non-existent. But if Monday night was any indication, the fierce haggling at prices way below face value was not a good sign.

I’d rather donate the tickets back and take the tax write off.

Either way I really don’t get the money that I need.

Anyway…

I was running late and dashing across the intersection of Madison & Wacker in my mother’s vintage mink collared wool coat.

It’s an absolutely stunning piece that makes me look a little smaller than Brian Urlacher.

But when the winter wind is howling in Chicago and your taking the CTA , looks go out the window.

I rounded the corner smack dab into a bunch of shabby, malnourished looking children giving me the stares of death.

When I realized they were from P.E.T.A. I started to giggle.

What are the odds of someone who’s been unemployed for five months and who’s 26 weeks of unemployment is dwindling running into P.E.T.A. protesters looking like the poster child for the idle rich?

Take the wheel Jesus.



Where dose the trash that continues to assemble against our gates come from anyway?

God I’ve picked up so much trash these past five months perhaps that should be my new occupation.

We don’t have any open trash cans anywhere near.

People can’t litter that much, can they?

Yesterday’s heat wave melted the snow and revealed so much soggy crap on the ground that all I could do is stand there and marvel.

I suppose that when the snow melts again I’ll go out and pick up the sodden crap so our little piece of paradise doesn’t look like our neighbor’s property.



Believe it or not I happen to get a few e-mails here and there from the occasional condo owning newbie with questions about their developer or neighbors.

As usual I give them the benefit of my knowledge.

But I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that a few things ring true:

1. You’re developer should have been paying monthly assessments for all unsold units from the date of the sale of the first unit. At the turnover, you should be having a war chest of cash waiting for you.

2. No matter how bootleg your developer may be, you can’t stop paying assessments because you’re upset with him or her. Trust me, in the end you’ll only be hurting yourselves. ’Cause if you don’t pay your assessments, you won’t be able to pay your association’s utility bills.

No one likes the water being turned off in the middle of their shower.

3. Get a friggin lawyer----right now. The money you spend now, will save you so much later.

4. It’s a business people. Like any other business if you don’t put some effort into it, it will fail. Your neighbors are your allies. If you don’t swim together, you’ll sink together.

I think this little article from today’s Chicago Tribune underscores that point.

This quote is particularly telling:

“Larry Hopkins was first to move onto the street, and first to see his monthly payment jump. When he learned his tax bill was the reason, Hopkins asked for more hours at his job as a school safety officer and cut spending.

But the taxes tacked hundreds of dollars on his monthly payment. His 2006 tax bill came to $5,001 for a $125,000 house, records show.

Hopkins said he made calls to local officials, his lender and Cook County offices but got the runaround. He went to his neighbors. "No one would get involved," he said. "They were afraid to speak up and didn't understand my problem because their bills weren't high. They didn't know the same thing was about to happen to them."

The people may have been in a subdivision instead of a condo building, but the basic premise still holds true.



My latest guilty pleasure is the fabulous Jen Lancaster.

Ms. Lancaster is the author of “Bitter Is The New Black” & my personal favorite “Bright Lights, Big Ass.”

I’ve started Bright Lights and was hysterically laughing within the first few pages.

I haven’t initially laughed that hard since I read Tucker Max’s blog.

When I first started reading him I couldn’t stop. He may be a complete misogynist but at least he’s a great writer.

You can’t deny talent.

You can’t deny talent in Ms. Lancaster’s case either.

She may be an unrepentant Fox News Network, Sean Hannity loving Republican but someone has to be, right?

Her book is so funny none of that seems to matter.

Besides don’t we all need a little diversity in our lives, no?

Brickbats

Like the swallows coming back to Capistrano, our association has yet another capital project to tackle.

Some might say that our latest undertaking is a result of the high quality conversion the building went through in 2000-2001.

Others might say that because of the building’s age (100 + years) that this may be a part of regular maintenance.

At this point, only the professional opinion of our vendor(s) will decide which of the two theories is correct.

In the meantime we have to figure out how to finance the tuck pointing of our façade and the possible rebuilding of our front porches.

Jesus take the wheel.

While we’re almost done paying off the back porches, we have to turn our efforts to the next project.

After all we don’t want anymore bricks falling off of our building.

At our first 2008 association meeting, the subject was broached and based on preliminary estimates we can afford to get one side of our façade tuck pointed without raising assessments.

That’s preliminary good news.

I’m worried about if the estimate was wrong or costs spiral out of control. Then what are we going to do?

We’ve worked hard to get our shit together.

Between the self management, self lawn care and careful attention to the bottom line, we’ve made the magic happen.

Naturally we had to crack the whip about the lifeblood of any association---assessments.

Now we’ve got to worry about how to pay for possible latent defects as a result of our developer.

But as I said, only the vendors will be able to pinpoint the true cause of the façade issue.

Don’t think I won’t give you the 411 when the information is available.

I can only assume that I’ll be dreaming of masonry for the remainder of 2008.

It’s The Fraud, Stupid

Since it’s an election year, I have a question for those who purport change.

When is our government going to get out of the business of subsidizing the hucksters that sap money from condo associations?

How?

It’s only a theory but one that bears repeating.

I don’t think it’s too long of a stretch imagining a person that would commit mortgage fraud would also attempt to defraud the government via a subsidized housing program.

Hell, let’s even take the mortgage fraud out of it since the many ways to defraud lenders and devastate neighborhoods has been talked to death.

Let’s just take this theory on it’s own merits.

Assume you have a landlord who owns a unit in a condominium association who applies for a subsidized housing program.

His or her unit passes the initial inspection, they secure a tenant and the payments from the government commence.

From the landlord’s point of view, everything is humming along nicely.

Now let’s throw a few “what if’s” in the mix.

What if the landlord ceases to pay his or her mortgage?

What if the landlord ceases to pay his or her monthly association assessments?

Now the playing field changes.

You would think that a vigilant board would be able to find out if a unit is subsidized or to notify the proper program officials that such shenanigans are taking place.

If you were a betting person, you’d be wrong.

Per current subsidized housing program procedures, unless you’re the client or the landlord, no information can be released.

And I suppose I understand the reasons for that rule.

The world is not a kind place. Let’s face it, there are those out there who would actively discriminate against clients of the program.

Frankly speaking, they’d be dumb asses to court disaster. Federal housing discrimination lawsuits are a bitch.

Nonetheless for a smart fraudster, that lack of communication----or gaping hole if you will---is a license to print money

You see my friends if that cagey trickster isn’t paying his or assessments but is still getting money from the government, how are you going to stop them?

Any attempts to reach out to the bureaucracy that is subsidized housing usually results with being talked to in very clipped, hurried tones.

You’re all but hung up on.

And I should know, I tried to tackle that maze myself.

As a result, the tricksters and fraudsters are potentially---yes I said potentially since I have no proof---getting away with bags of money on the taxpayer’s dime.

It boggles the mind that an individual can commit fraud, default on a mortgage, endanger a person’s primary residence, financially devastate a condo association AND drive down a neighborhood’s property value just like that (*finger snap*)

In a sense if fraud is being committed, one property could be yielding up to two revenue streams. One from the illegal (and inflated) proceeds and another from the subsidized housing revenues.

Now if the suspect landlord is engaging in these activities the mortgage company loses, the condo associations loses, subsidized housing dollars are being thrown out the window and more importantly the tenant loses.

It’s a big fat bag of ass for everybody.

So in this hotly contested election year I’d ask the candidates how they’d protect the interests of the tenants, condo associations and the public piggybank from assholes who are hell bent on taking all of us for a ride.

That’s the reform I’m interested in.

The Enemy Within

If you’ve been a loyal and regular reader of this blog, you already know that I have little love for “investors” who buy into our happy home.

Plus it just burns my biscuits that someone makes our home their commercial enterprise.

As an association we’ve had trouble with “investors” before and we’ve luckily got those past issues under control.

Yet there’s always one pain in the ass. One person who has to keep it interesting and not make any attempt to be neighborly or abide by the minimal rules we have around this joint.

Ms. Realtor is that person.

Ms. Realtor is an owner of a unit that she rented out in the past and now has placed on the market

From what I understand she owes the association in excess of $1,000 in back assessments.

I get being a couple months behind---hey, we’ve all been there---but over $1,000?

Might I add she owes us this money AND she had the place rented out for a while. There was no good reason why she couldn’t of paid her assessments.

Moreover getting any type of meaningful communication out of her is like hitting your head against a brick wall.

So if her financial shit was hitting the fan, she at least could of given us a “heads up” on the assessment tip.

We understand that people have drama in the money department from time to time. No one is immune from that.

But from what I understand we couldn’t even get an odd e-mail much less the money that we’re legally owed.

So now it gets ugly.

If there’s not a lien on the property one will placed on it soon enough.

And in the interest of disclosure, one association member even threatened to go to one of the owner’s open houses and let her potential clients know about her deadbeat ways.
I personally think that’s going too far---but she already put it out there.

Why waste your time threatening someone and have a potential trespassing beef to deal with when there are so many other effective ways to get your point across?

I’m sure there’s some type of ethical violation that I’m sure the state real estate licensing board would be interested in hearing about.

But then again, maybe not; who knows? I’m sure someone is investigating that angle.

You see our bills can’t wait until the property sells in order to collect our money.

I can’t speak to Ms. Realtor’s motivation for not paying her assessments but in the past, when we’ve found ourselves in this same situation we’d often get the “We’ll pay when the property sells” line.

Well that’s all fine and well until no one has any hot water to shower with because People’s Energy hasn’t been paid.

But investor’s don’t worry about that because they don’t live here.

Past experience has also taught me that the people who try to take advantage of us usually tend to look like us.

Or at the very least they’re people of color.

Our developer, the deadbeats, Maurice Cousin---all the people who broke dirty with this association happened to be black.

Sorry to get all Bill Cosby and air out our laundry but---if you’ll excuse the pun---let’s call a spade a spade.

While I could go on forever about black on black relations, it’s easier to compare it to Don Imus getting fired for calling the Rutgers women’s basketball team a bunch of nappy headed ho’s and Isaiah Thomas explaining in a deposition when a black man refers to a black woman as a bitch it may be less offensive than a white man referring to a black woman as a bitch.

We’ve swatted down a whole bunch of Isaiah’s in the past, I hope Ms. Realtor doesn’t turn out to be another.

I have seen the enemy and it is us.

Indecision '07, Part II

I think the official logo for our condo association should be an ostrich with its head in the sand.

Because that seems to be the manner that some of my fellow board members choose to deal with association business.

I sent an e-mail last week to the board concerning the pack rat like habits of our handyman and a few suggestions to make sure this topic doesn’t become an issue in the future.

Do you know how many board members sent a response?

One.

One person out of four took the time out of her day to lodge her opinions and concerns about the safety and security of our home.

That’s just pitiful.

But I decided to take the high road. I decided to send out a second e-mail concerning the subject last weekend and still have yet to hear back from the three who did not respond.

Now we’ve gone from pitiful to trifling.

One of two things is going on: Either I’m held in such low regard that I can’t even get a return e-mail or these three people are just so busy with their lives that they just can’t manage to squeak out an e-mail concerning association business.

But I’ll bet they’ll be the first to piss and moan the minute someone gets broken into.

Or the first to wonder, “How’d that happen” when someone accesses our building with a random front door key or code given out by a former renter.

Like I said---they’re a reactive bunch.

So what do you do when ¾ of your association ducks any type of responsibility for their home and the ones that serve on the board are lazy or so burned out that they don’t give a flying fuck?

Indecision '07

Trying to get my fellow condo board members to run this association like an actual business is like pulling teeth.

I am so sick and tired of reactionary governing but then I’m putting the cart before the horse.

For those of you who’ve been reading this blog, my woes with my past and present board members should come as no surprise.

In my opinion there’s been questionable dealings and of course the mainstay of any condo association---infighting.

I don’t mind people that don’t take my point of view but you have to be a bit more of a critical thinker when dealing with the homes of those around you.

More importantly you also need to effectively communicate with not only the general membership but with your fellow board members.

Apparently this seems to be a problem with our association.

But to the matter at hand.

Ladies and Gentlemen we have a handyman who gives practically every last woman in this association a severe case of the creeps.

And when I say severe---I mean severe. The great thing about growing older and more secure in your womanhood is that you give that “inner voice” way more play in the decisions you make.

Men tend to want to quantify their feelings---if it doesn’t make sense then they tend to ignore it.

Women just know---you know?

He does a great job cleaning but it came to quite a few owners’ attention that he was hanging around at inappropriate hours (read: Late at night) and was also storing personal items in our basement.

Naturally this wasn’t going to fly.

This topic came up informally between a few of us but nothing formal was decided.

He continued to skulk around; bringing “things” in and out late at night and during the day when he thought no one was around.

But the straw that broke the camel’s back happened about a week and a half ago.

I was returning home late one night when I happened upon our handyman.
It appeared to me that he was bringing two dismantled bike frames up to our building.

When I confronted him about the storage of his personal items at our home, he said that the bike frames that he had just arrived with were actually being taken from the building.

Yeah, right.

I let him know that we were starting the process of cleaning out the basement and that if his items happened to be down there when we started that he shouldn’t be upset if his things got thrown out.

He just looked at me said that he was aware of the risk, I said “ok” and went inside.

Now I believe that was on a Wednesday. When I still saw his items junking up our basement late last week the cleaning bug hit.

Round #1 went out to the trash last Thursday.

Round #2 went out yesterday.

While I don’t necessary fault our handyman for his assumptions---after all people will continue to take advantage of you until you stop them---I fault the fact that we as an association never established proper boundaries and procedures.

Attempting to correct these oversights with a group of people who react to emergencies instead of anticipating and planning for the unexpected.

Like I said, it’s like pulling teeth.

Nearing The Finish Line

In July of 2005 our association leveled a special to pay for the construction of our new back porches.

Each two bedroom in the association was responsible for a $3,976.00 assessment.

Some people paid in chunks, some paid monthly---I'm in the later group.

After 28 months of payments I'm thrilled to report that I have paid $3,108.00 of my total special assessment. That leaves $868 left to pay.

I'm tempted to pay it off in one fell swoop but since I don't know when I'm going to get a job, perhaps it's just best for me to continue paying it off in addition to my monthly assessment.

I'm under $1,000. This milestone has been a long time coming.

The Closing

I have a neighbor who is attempting to sell her unit.

Unfortunately there is a bit of confusion concerning certain documents her buyer(s) need from the association for the closing to be scheduled.

Prior to my layoff I received a call from the buyer’s agent requesting all of the usual stuff---Decs & Bylaws, financial statements, a condo survey, paid assessment letter, which I personally delivered to the lender at Washington Mutual.

So imagine my surprise when I hear that a lawyer calls (for whom?) and gets quite agitated about the timeliness of the documentation provided by the association.

She further went on to state that she attempted calling another board member but they failed to get back to her.

At least on that point she’s correct.

Some people on the board aren’t the best with follow through. They like to paint themselves more as managers and idea people than workers---chiefs rather than Indians if you like that analogy; but if you ask me they’re just downright lazy.

But that’s another post for another day.

Nonetheless the lawyer was giving major attitude.

My neighbor who took the call was not happy about this interruption to her workday.

The irony is that she isn’t even on the board but still takes a very active role in the management of our home.

If I understood her rather pointed e-mail, neither she nor her treasurer husband will provide any more assistance regarding the sale of this unit.

While her reaction and decision serves as no surprise---mama has quite the temper---when I spoke with her a few days after the e-mail she did make a valid point.

Our neighbor has hardly ever come to board meetings. When she did, the meetings usually concerned rising assessments, our special assessment or renter rules.

A few years ago when the clarion call went out for maintenance help she was nowhere to be found. She may have contributed a few cleaning items but my memory is fuzzy on that point.

The kicker is that she’s some type of engineer (if memory serves me correctly) and never once spoke up to throw in her two cents about our porch project.
As we all know, you have no obligations other than to pay your assessments and show a begrudging respect for your neighbors when you live in an association.

But as most of us have learned, it never hurts to build up good will with the people you live around. It doesn’t mean you have to love them but pitching in to help out ever so often won’t hurt.

As an association it seems like we’ve been dealing with two different buyers and we’ve made every accommodation to comply with their requests for information.

Frankly speaking it seems like no one is coordinating the acquisition or dispersal of condo documents on the seller’s side.

She should have a copy of the Decs & Bylaws. If she knew she was selling she (or her property manager) should have asked in advance for the association financials.

I’ve sold a place before so I know the onus to make sure the gathering and distribution of these documents shouldn’t be on the association.

But this behavior by my soon to be former neighbor isn’t surprising.

When you’ve contributed nothing of yourself or your talents, don’t be surprised when people aren’t exactly falling all over themselves to help you.

Oy! or Infastructure-a-go-go

With an older building there is always some maintenance issue that needs to be addressed. Truthfully it seems like there are more issues or potential issues to be dealt with than hours in the day (or willing volunteers).

Or the short way to say it is there's always something.

The porches that are a little over a year old are already having problems with severely splitting wood and rails coming apart from the posts.

Our porches should have that type of weathering in year eleven or twelve, not going into year two.

You know I'm all over it with the Porch People. Naturally any lack of timely response to my e-mails from my neighbors is slowing the process down significantly. I mean people pissed and moaned about the porches at our last meeting yet haven't responded to an e-mail asking them to detail their concerns.

Jesus take the wheel.

You'll be hearing alot of that phrase in the future. 'Cause at this point, I just have to put it in Jesus' hands 'cause I can't do any more.

Anyhoo...

I'll send another e-mail and post signs in the foyers to give people a last ditch effort to throw in their two cents. After that, Mama takes over.

The latest drama is that someone got a barbecue grill stolen off of their back porch highlighting the back fence issue and one of our buildings has a Noah's Ark type flood going on in the basement.

God I hope my vintage Christmas ornaments aren't ruined.

Jesus take the wheel.

Neville Chamberlain

There is peace in our time---at least for now.

I’m sure you kids were wondering what exactly happened with all of that unmixing business.

After all of that back and forth the bottom line is that my neighbor and I went ahead and got our electrical lines straightened out---I’m the only one paying for and using my power.

The power to our tier had to be shut off temporarily but to my knowledge no one else in the building was permanently affected by our decision.

While I’ve noticed very little difference service wise, my first floor neighbor is happy to report that for the first time in almost four years she can now run her washer, dishwasher AND microwave at the same time.

That sound you hear is my neighbor clicking her heels.

Hopefully my electric bill will drop dramatically. Only time will tell.

So currently there is no drama, no ping-pong e-mails and hard looks given in the hallway.

Things seem kinda normal.

Then of course we do have a condo board meeting tomorrow night.