Monday, June 30, 2008

A Perfect Ten

10 long months.

That’s how long I haven’t had corporate employment.

That’s how long I’ve been paying for my own health, life and dental insurance.

That’s how long I have been searching for a job.

And let me define job as being one that pays as much or more than I was making at my other gig. A job that doesn’t involve serving or servicing anyone, has built in sick days and vacation time.

It would be nice not to say, “Would you like that house salad to come out first?”

It’s beyond frustrating.

I’m tired of worrying about working multiple jobs, sweating making the mortgage every month.

Make no mistake the mortgage comes first; much to the detriment of everything else and my credit rating.

Almost 40 years old and having to rebuild my credit rating---great.

Shouldn’t I be alfresco dining in Paris right now? Not worrying about coordinating my three jobs so I have enough money to keep my utilities on.

Paying the utilities these days is a series of Faustian deals with Com Ed, Peoples & AT&T.

I’m tired of having my friends help either via employment or funds.

My two of my three part time jobs are with close friends. The other is in the office suite of a close friend.

It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything that everyone has done for me, but I’m of the mind set that no matter how much someone likes you, there comes a time you have to stand on your own two feet.

It seems like my attempts at standing have been met with a massive ass kicking.

Plus no one needs to know every last thing about your life---no matter how much you like them.

It blurs the lines of friendship and we all know how tricky that can be to negotiate.

The fact of the matter is that apparently my best job hunt efforts aren’t good enough.

I’m trying to figure out how to correct and redirect my efforts so I don’t have to choose between groceries and paying my condo assessments.

Not that those are up to date but a girl can dream can’t she?

And then to drive the unemployment point home, one of my part time jobs (yes I had four) shut down about two weeks ago.

My main part time gig at Pottery Barn on Michigan Avenue is no more.

Jesus take the wheel, I’m the great job killer.

I know I’ve done a few of these posts over the past ten months but it just seems like everything is going into a downward spiral despite my best efforts.

I seriously want my life back.

Like right now.

It really takes fortitude to get out bed these days.

But knowing that the alternative is homelessness has served as motivation enough but now even that isn’t the kick that it used to be.

Frankly the cat meowing for his breakfast is what gets me to move my ass in the morning.

And yes, I’m not feeling too confident these days but I tell myself that I have to refocus and redouble my efforts. I also try to let go of the things I can’t control and deal with the things I can control.

So to pull me out of my funk, I’ve committed myself to making my little nest as tidy as possible.

While my place is still not completely spit and polished, things were progressing nicely.

Until the grease fire that happened on Saturday.


Eric Allix Rogers said...

Shit. Hope it's nothing worse than a smoky mess!

ChiKat said...

That really is a bummer. So sorry you are having so much trouble finding a new job. I'm cheering for you (and also hunting down that squirrel who keeps attacking my flowers...argh!)

kblog said...

Hang in there! Don't feel as though it's just you. Everyone is having a difficult time if they are looking for a job. My husband just landed a job after looking for over a year. He has bachelor and master degrees in Finance with a solid work record.

(simply)G of The MAC Phoundation said...

Hey there, still funny after all these years. I do miss our humor-filled dialogues! You're still funny after all these years.

The North Coast said...

What grease fire? I sure as hell hope it wasn't too damaging, because it is the last thing you need.

I know it is cold comfort that so many other people are going through this now, and I could be next- I work for a small firm and I'm 56, and we are on a very shaky footing. It's not fun to rebuild a credit rating or a career at this age, especially after being destroyed 10 years ago. I'm now frantically searching and sending resumes, because I feel it won't be long at all.

You have my unlimited respect for being able to pull it together as well as you have. It's amazing that you are able to pay your mortgage, and the fact that you are elevates you far above all the other buried buyers who are walking away from places they can perfectly well afford to pay for, because they're underwater on value. These are the people who are making our economic life very difficult right now.

All your readers are hoping you score a good job very soon.

And we are all hoping the economy starts to turn back up before half the country has sunk into poverty.

(simply)G of The MAC Phoundation said...

"Jesus take the wheel, I'm the great job killer" is still salient, funny, apropos today as it was yesterday.

I know that feeling of "starting over" at the age of 40--and it does suck!

But: I think change for me is around the corner!

Stay Strong!