I’m Down With HPP

That’s Hyde Park Produce.

With six months of unemployment and semi-exhausted financial resources I have to be a tad creative with critical necessities.

Read: Food

With the Co-op closing and Peapod becoming un-affordable, I turned to the semi-new kid on the block, HPP.

HPP just moved to a new space in Kimbark Plaza on 53rd Street. I had gone in previously with friends and was duly impressed.

But be being impressed doesn’t keep money in the bank account.

So when I rolled up to them on Monday, I made sure I brought along my Peapod list and kept the receipt for a fair price comparison.

Behold the tale of the tape:

Peapod

8 oz. Package of Mushrooms $1.99
5 oz. Organic Salad Greens $3.49
5 oz. Organic Spinach $3.99*
1 Green Pepper $ .99
1 Yellow Pepper $2.49
1 Red Pepper $1.99
1 Bunch of Broccoli $1.99
4 Bananas $1.16
1 Bunch of Cauliflower $2.49
20 Head of Garlic $8.00
16 oz. Package of Strawberries $4.99


HPP
8 oz. Package of Mushrooms $1.49
5 oz. Organic Salad Greens $2.99
5 oz. Organic Spinach $2.99
1 Green Pepper $ .33
1 Yellow Pepper $ .69
1 Red Pepper $1.25
1 Bunch of Broccoli $1.10
4 Bananas $ .69
1 Bunch of Cauliflower $1.78
20 Head of Garlic $3.29
16 oz. Package of Strawberries $2.99


Totals Peapod: $33.57
HPP: $19.59

Difference: $13.98

Note: The price for the Peapod spinach is for a 6 oz package and the HPP package was 5 oz. But what’s an ounce between friends?

Obviously this is the subtotal without the ridiculous Cook County Sales tax. Naturally it won’t seem ridiculous if Mr. Stroger has his way and we’re due for another hefty tax hike---again.

Oh I’m sorry, was that out loud?

And yes, I like garlic. It keeps a sister healthy.

Savings and affordable fresh produce? Sign me up for the Christian jubilee.

Woodlawn’s A Poppin’

Despite the snow outside, things are heating up in Woodlawn.

The city is seeking a developer for the vacant lot on the southwest corner of 63rd and Blackstone.

Rumor has it that since the property abuts Mt. Carmel High School they’ve been trying to purchase it for years. The Alderman at the time (Arenda Troutman) put the kibosh on the whole gig. Apparently that parcel was to slated for housing, not an extension of the Mt. Carmel real estate empire.

Well now it appears that the city is moving forward on developing the land.

This ought to be interesting. I’ll keep an eye on this and keep you kids in the mix.

And speaking of development…

Some lovely foundations “are creating a multimillion-dollar fund to protect South and West Side neighborhoods from being overlooked or overwhelmed in the city's pursuit of an Olympic Game.”

I don’t even know what that means.

According to the Chicago Tribune article, “They may be used to canvass residents and fund research on jobs, business development and tourism opportunities. Later grants may support community planning, affordable housing, education and job training.”

Jobs? Business Opportunities? Shouldn’t the alderman already be searching for those opportunities?

As a matter of fact, don’t we also have groups and foundations that have already done community planning, affordable housing studies as well as job training?

Personally it sounds like the beginning of business as usual around these parts.

Grants will go to “community groups” who beat a big can but can’t take out the trash.

Money will be funneled, good intentions will be promised, studies will be “issued” and job training programs will be “funded.”

And a dime of money won’t reach the people that need it most.

Or I could be wrong.

But the last little Woodlawn caveat is the best.

Guess what kids, it’s Displacement Week at the University of Chicago.

As in Woody’s ass will be displaced from her home if she doesn’t get a job.

No seriously folks, the University is searching its soul concerning displacement and to created a dialogue “about the University’s responsibility to global and local communities.”

The minute I got this e-mail from a loyal reader I started to giggle.

You know I’m all over Understanding Your Role In Gentrification tonight at 8:00 PM. Hell, I might turn the Forum on the University of Chicago Hyde Park/Kenwood/Woodlawn into a friggin cocktail hour.

But don’t expect me to furnish all of the vodka, you boozers.

You’ll know it’s me by the peels of laughter in the back of the room.

This one ought to be interesting.

Murse

While on the bus today running errands, I noticed a young man with what appeared to be a natty looking bag.

Naturally I was confused.

When did the male urban hip-hop set start carrying murses?

Is this the latest thing? Is some rap star translating a “look” from the runway? Were Kayne and Diddy photographed with the latest carry all?

I had to know what this kid’s deal was.

Now I normally don’t have conversations with people I don’t know on the bus. To do so is to open up the door for crazy to walk right into your life.

But I had to know.

So I asked him if he had a carry all.

Unfortunately he stated that he was on his way to drop off what I thought was his murse. It turned out to be a soft sided train case that belonged to a lady friend.

Damn.

I was so looking forward to seeing saggy pants wearing, corn rowed young men roaming the south side with teacup dogs.

Pity Party

Smelly and unemployed is not a dream combination.

With my extended job hunt sucking the life both out of me and my bank account, a crisis in confidence was sure to happen.

Well it did.

And as I related in the last post, reality gave me a swift kick in the ass.

No matter how I felt about this little change of fortune or how bruised my professional ego may be, Mama has bills to pay and a fuzzy gray cat that needs to be fed.

Moreover, why am I gonna let a small thing like unemployment stand in the way of my milestone birthday celebration in August?

Plus I have yet to win the Chicago Tribune’s Glorious Gardens contest. Admittedly it would be a difficult to do so if I don’t have enough money to put a garden down this year.

The pity party is gonna have to wait for another day.

One day you’ll find yourself patronizing one of the many fine restaurants in the Hyde Park area and thinking to yourself, “That woman doesn’t fit the mold of a typical waitress and her ass is too big to be a co-ed’s. I wonder if that’s my favorite blogger The Woodlawn Wonder?”

That would be a yes.

I start training next week so I can sling food and libations. While I haven’t waitresses in quite some time, I think it will be a good departure from the corporate grind that I’d experienced for over ten years.

Plus I really need to get my ass off the couch and stop watching Lifetime.

Did I mention QVC has crept into the rotation?

I also wanted to really get my hustle on and substitute teach for Chicago Public Schools.

Despite the fact they have a desperate shortage of substitute teachers, applications are not being accepted from those of us who do not have an education degree.

Can you even fathom how asinine that policy sounds.

Risking life and limb as a substitute is a job so few people obviously want to do. Apparently in order to sit and take guff off of students, the powers that be at CPS feel that you need to have taken education courses to do so.

So as schools desperately scramble for a warm body and a heartbeat, I who is willing to risk daily peril cannot even offer my services because I choose to get an English Literature degree.

And no, I don’t want to teach. I spent a lifetime watch my mother doing it so speaking from the perspective as a teacher’s kid---I’ll take a pass.

But seeing that the schools have a need for subs and I have a need for cash and an overwhelming desire to keep the heat on, I thought it would be a perfect fit.

That would be a no.

its on to running pub grub and rum and cokes for the Hyde Park crowd.

Remember to tip your wait staff generously the next time you’re out enjoying a meal.

I don’t expect George Clooney to invite me to the villa on Lake Como for a few days to celebrate my birthday so it looks like if I’m going to have a fantastic milestone, I’m going to have to work like a mother.

Monstrosity

The proverbial straw fell about two weeks ago.

It broken the camel’s back concerning the futility of my ongoing employment search.

Like most people in the market today, I thought I’d have a job within a month or so. The reality of the my job search is no where close to my battered expectations.

The monster.com job fair was absolutely the worst. A complete waste of time for every person who schlepped to the Holiday Inn Merchandise Mart.

As if job hunting for nearly six months isn’t demoralizing enough, the hundreds if not thousands of other job seeks at the fair truly let me know how rough it is out there.

I’m not bullshitting. The line of job fair attendees wrapped around the entire floor of the hotel.

And that was within the first hour of the doors opening.

When I got to the end of the line, I should of known something was up as it moved fairly quickly. From the time I got to the end of this long line to the time I signed into the door it took about 35-40 minutes.

There had to be at least 600 people ahead of me in line.

That should have been my second clue. Then the Monster representative not having a location map of the employers should have been the dead give away as well.

The third clue should have been the size of the room.

Now if this had of been a legitimate job fair with a variety of potential employers, the space would have been much larger.

The room was the size of my dining room.

And while that’s huge for a dining room, it’s quite small for a job fair.

Once I got through the line, signed in (first name only please), dropped off a copy of my resume and entered the room I quickly assessed that this ridiculous waste of time.

Now I’m not slamming the employers that were there but let’s just say that the fair wasn’t exactly geared toward those of us who didn’t want to work for Crunch Fitness or be a salesperson on commission.

And by the way, with that little dustup in Middle East enlisting in the Army didn’t seem to be the right move either.

I threw on my suit and trotted out my Crest smile for this?

It broke me.

In the last few weeks the only reason I left my condo was to take out the trash with the stinky cat litter and to check the mail.

Being in my robe for a couple of days and watching QVC probably didn’t help matters either.

Since the middle of January, I’ve been fighting the urge to give up.

Getting up everyday, checking my e-mail account for Monster and Careerbuilder e-mails, networking my ass off, keeping up with my career counseling services and attending their various workshops kept me involved in my fate and more importantly it kept me busy.

Grasping at every lead, applying for every relevant job---keeping hope alive as Rev. Jackson would say.

It can be quite exhausting.

Wasting time at a half assed job fair with many other people just did me in.

I wanted to give up.

Luckily reality slapped me in the face. And by reality I mean keeping a roof over my head.

Legally Speaking

Boy oh boy do I get e-mails and comments.

While I read all of them, I rarely respond to individual requests or queries via the blog.

And by rarely I do really mean rarely.

But today is the day I diverge from standard operating procedure.

Why?

‘Cause if I get one more e-mail inquiring about reasonable and competent legal services, I’m gonna scream.

So kind readers, let me introduce you to John Elias, esq. lawyer extraordinaire.

John has represented me in two real estate transactions, is the lawyer for our condo association and is very experienced in the breath of condominium law in the state of Illinois.

And yes, he’s a personal friend.

Despite the fact I’ve know him for nearly ten years, I can honestly say this kid’s top drawer. Not only is he good but he also has a high work ethic.

Plus any lawyer who stayed with us during the foreclosures, liens and learning how to run our home as a business deserves a medal.

Child please.

So look to the left to find a link to his website.

If you tell him I referred you, your association will receive a free hour consultation.

Yes a free hour consultation----for your association, not you. So don’t go in there with a personal ax to grind. Remember, your unit is your home but the association is a business.

It wouldn’t hurt if you adhered to the following tips prior to making an appointment:

Make sure all of the members of your association board can be present

Have a copy of your declarations and bylaws at the meeting.

There is never a thing as too much paperwork. Executed contracts, turnover documentation and dates are extremely helpful.

If you feel this topic needs to be addressed, disclosure of your financial situation.

Prepare all of your questions and concerns prior to the meeting.

You’d be surprised at how quickly an hour can pass when you’re with a lawyer.

And no, I don’t know his hourly rate. He doesn’t ask me how much money I make (hint: That would be zero as I’m unemployed) and I don’t ask him how he runs his business.

I’m just saving you the trouble of asking.

But as with anything, please do your due diligence. Check (or ask) him about his education and credentials, how long he’s been practicing real estate law and any other thing that pops into your head.

Just because I’m giving him the thumbs up doesn’t mean you should follow me blindly.

‘Cause frankly speaking----isn’t that what got you all in your predicament in the first place?

Salting The Wounds

The school across the street finally shoveled the snow.

Granted it was a half assed only because they were practically forced effort but at least a majority of the snow was removed from the sidewalk.

Since I’m tired of begging the powers that be to meet their responsibilities, I simply started making my alderman aware of the issue.

Hey, I’ve tried to be nice.

All it gets me is trash strewn, weed choked hell hole.

So like my Mama said, “Time for talking is done.”

From what I understand the school across the street may have gotten a visit from the friendly local streets and san representative.

And while I’m not sure if there was a meeting, I can imagine if there was one it might have gone something like this:


Streets & Sans Rep: “Hi.”

School Across the Street: “Hi.”

Streets & San: “Apparently you’re not shoveling the snow on the south end of your property.”

School: “Yeah, so.”

Streets & San: “Well you might want to make an effort to shovel.”

School: “Why?”

Streets & San: “Besides that Woody screaming her head off, it is in violation of current ordinances.”

School: “Yeah we pretty much marginalize her and only respond to her bootleg concerns only when she calls. We figure we’ll wear her down. You do know that we don’t consider anything on the ‘other’ side of the fence our concern, right?”

Streets & San: “Well that very well may be, but it’s a new day in these parts. You have to keep up all of your property. Not just the parts your student, staff, visitor and fat cat alumni see.”

School: “So what if we don’t?”

Streets & San: “Let’s not get into a pissing match. I’m here as a friendly warning. You do know that I have the power to fine you, right?”

***Stone silence***

School: You know we pride ourselves in being a good neighbor.”

Streets & San: “Well then act like it---this is the only discussion we’ll be having on this subject. If there’s a next time, the fine notices will start showing up.


So after two weeks of having an impassible sidewalk, the school across the street finally shoveled sometime on Thursday morning.

Naturally since the shoveling was done with a minimum of effort, it didn’t go down to the sidewalk. This packed down the snow to create a even slicker walkway.

To keep to the theme of half assing their commitment to the ‘hood, the school didn’t even put any salt down to melt the snow left behind by the half assed shoveling job.

At least then the shitty shoveling job would of made sense.

See ‘cause then you would of thought, “Ok, they didn’t go down to the pavement but at least the salt will melt the rest of the snow.”

Apparently we’re not even worth salt.

Unbelievable. Un-fucking-believable.

Because this institution let free money from the South East Chicago Commission go unused; because this institution needs constant reminding of their parkway & sidewalk responsibilities and more importantly because of this institution’s lack of serious commitment to Woodlawn they finally need to be named.

Mt. Carmel High School doesn’t live up to their commitments.

Perhaps they have a soup kitchen in the neighborhood or help the seniors down the street. Maybe they help locals with free tax prep services.

I may be wrong, Mt. Carmel may be doing tons of service oriented projects around Woodlawn that I may not be aware of.

Hell, I don’t know everything, right?

But a lack of true community involvement plus spotty sidwalk & parkway maintenance equals a crappy neighbor.

So to commemorate this auspicious occasion, every time Mt. Carmel doesn’t shovel the snow, or pick up the trash or cut the grass the Mt. Carmel Watch-o-Meter will go up somewhere on the blog.

That is if I can figure out how to tweak my template.

If their track record is any indication, I suspect the Watch -o-Meter will be going up very soon.

Neighborhood Watch

Sweet, sweet karma is starting to do the come up.

The rumor mill seems to think that Carlton Knight’s latest project at 32nd and Rhodes won’t legally start beginning construction anytime soon.

While he has all of his permits covered, he hasn’t broken ground.

The city has found out that he plans on commercially developing the property---ie: a for profit sale---if any construction activity commences, a cease and desist order will be slapped on the project.

As you should know by now, the city has a set of processes in place to monitor developers. The glaring loophole is that the city can’t possibly know if the developer is developing a commercial project unless he or she self identifies.

Or if eagle-eyed neighbors call the city.

Apparently they have kept the city abreast of any new developments.

At least that’s what I hear.

Good bless ‘em.

I can only assume that if Mr. Knight wanted to salvage the project, he’ll simply comply with the developer statutes laid down by the city.

Apply for a business license and fill out the paperwork for the developer registry---how hard is that?

Then of course he may have already done so.

Perhaps, he’s steeped in the middle of the process right now---who knows?

But I’ll tell you this, if anyone so much as takes a toy pail and shovel and moves a spoonful of earth, the shit is hitting the fan.

Big ups to the neighbors for watching over their ‘hood.

Getting It Right

Since the new school year started last August and I've been unemployed, I've had the unique opportunity to pay even closer attention to my neighborhood.

But you eagle eyed readers already knew that.

One thing I noticed is that there were no disaffected, baggy pants wearing youths wandering the neighborhood looking for a place to fire up their shitty domestically grown pot.

Curious, no?

I come to find out that Hyde Park Career Academy has a new ass kicking principal who shut down the open lunches that allowed the disaffected youths to freely roam.

And no, not all of the Hyde Park students are monumental pains in the ass.

As usual it's the small percentage of dumb asses that ruin it for everybody.

Plus the super swanky new McDonald's has banned students during school hours.

Nonetheless, I must give a resounding well done to Hyde Park's new principal and the Chicago Police Department. The officers and police cars that line Stony Island after school cut down on the usual foolishness from ocurring.

And because the usual foolishness has lessened, my quality of life has shot up.

Granted I don't have any income coming in but at least I don't have to deal with disrepectful brats.

Now if the new principal could find a way to address the student's behavior on the bus, he might be able to bring peace to the Middle East.

Good luck kind sir, you'll need it.

Slow Burn

I so appreciate needing a dog team to navigate my neighborhood.

Why?

Because the owners of the many rental properties and vacant lots around these parts don’t believe in clearing snow from the sidewalks.

So I and the other pedestrians tend to walk in the street as most of the sidewalks are virtually impassable.

Can I tell you how fun it is to walk down Stony Island with cars whizzing past you wondering which one of them will hit a patch of ice and skid into you?

Especially a few days ago when their was so much fog, the ’hood looked like the movie set for Wurthering Heights.

Unfortunately, established businesses and institutions aren’t doing a bang up job either.

The gas station around the corner seems to think that they only need to plow out their parking lot and the sidewalk is the city’s responsibility.

Of course the school across the street is continuing to be a “good neighbor” by not shoveling an inch of snow on the sidewalk from Dorchester to Stony Island.

Not one flipping inch.

And that was the snowfall from last week.

God they’re so full of shit.

With today’s anticipated snowfall, we might not be able to use that side of the street until baseball season .

Methinks I need to jot off an e-mail to the alderman.

Perky

A solution for our cash woes has been found.

By now, you sharp cookies have noticed the CondoPerks logo on the left sidebar.

It’s not there by accident.

Not only am I a huge fan but I think so highly of the program that I want everyone to know about it as well.

CondoPerks allows condominium associations to earn money the easy way----by online shopping.

You go to the website, choose the building of your choice (cough**The Blackstone Condo Assoc.**cough) and start online shopping.

You can surf via the category bar on the left or you can scroll through all of the participating stores in the drop down above the category bar.

Can you believe that our condo association can make money every time I Peapod myself?

I know, it sounds dirty.

The founder of the service Blagica Stefanovski has found a practical, yet painless way for associations to supplement and potentially increase their reserves while complementing their existing fiscal measures.

In short, it’s brilliance.

So if your association could use a few more buck in the till, click on the link to the left and get the ball rolling.

At this point new building registration is free but that could change at any time.

But I have a better way for those of you who rent or own your own home to help out.

When you do your online shopping, help a sister and her hard working neighbors out----go to the CondoPerks website, find The Blackstone Condo Assoc. and shop with a purpose.

As previously mentioned., we have a potentially expensive capital project coming up later this year. We don’t wanna get caught with our financial pants down.

Frankly the thought of having to levy another special assessment makes my unemployed stomach lurch.

Now you don’t have to do it, but it’d be nice.

And there are 180 retailers of all stripes that I know you all use anyway.

Plus I’m not out on the street shaking the proverbial cup full of change in your face. I’m just gently doing it online.

It’s less noisy and I don’t have to give you the puppy dog eyes.

Whatever you want to do---Online shop with the Blackstone in mind, sign your building up or just cruise through to see what all the hubbub is about, all are welcome.

For all of you that needed a new excuse to cyber shop---here it is.

Randoms

If Senator Obama needs to further distance himself from Tony Rezko by giving away more money, I’m all in.

An unemployed sister could use a couple of bucks as my funds are about down to zero.

It’s expensive keeping up the house AND drying cleaning bills for interview suits.

I’ll make it for February but March is gonna be interesting.

I might get a temporary reprieve if I get a huge tax refund. It might be nice if my former employer would get off their ass and send my W-2 & 1099.



When I went to the opera on Monday I was yelled at by P.E.T.A. protesters.

I know---you’re thinking opera & fur can’t necessarily equal bleak poverty.

But let me explain, prior to my layoff I split a partial subscription with my “opera buddy.”

The resale market for opera tickets is slight but not non-existent. But if Monday night was any indication, the fierce haggling at prices way below face value was not a good sign.

I’d rather donate the tickets back and take the tax write off.

Either way I really don’t get the money that I need.

Anyway…

I was running late and dashing across the intersection of Madison & Wacker in my mother’s vintage mink collared wool coat.

It’s an absolutely stunning piece that makes me look a little smaller than Brian Urlacher.

But when the winter wind is howling in Chicago and your taking the CTA , looks go out the window.

I rounded the corner smack dab into a bunch of shabby, malnourished looking children giving me the stares of death.

When I realized they were from P.E.T.A. I started to giggle.

What are the odds of someone who’s been unemployed for five months and who’s 26 weeks of unemployment is dwindling running into P.E.T.A. protesters looking like the poster child for the idle rich?

Take the wheel Jesus.



Where dose the trash that continues to assemble against our gates come from anyway?

God I’ve picked up so much trash these past five months perhaps that should be my new occupation.

We don’t have any open trash cans anywhere near.

People can’t litter that much, can they?

Yesterday’s heat wave melted the snow and revealed so much soggy crap on the ground that all I could do is stand there and marvel.

I suppose that when the snow melts again I’ll go out and pick up the sodden crap so our little piece of paradise doesn’t look like our neighbor’s property.



Believe it or not I happen to get a few e-mails here and there from the occasional condo owning newbie with questions about their developer or neighbors.

As usual I give them the benefit of my knowledge.

But I’d like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that a few things ring true:

1. You’re developer should have been paying monthly assessments for all unsold units from the date of the sale of the first unit. At the turnover, you should be having a war chest of cash waiting for you.

2. No matter how bootleg your developer may be, you can’t stop paying assessments because you’re upset with him or her. Trust me, in the end you’ll only be hurting yourselves. ’Cause if you don’t pay your assessments, you won’t be able to pay your association’s utility bills.

No one likes the water being turned off in the middle of their shower.

3. Get a friggin lawyer----right now. The money you spend now, will save you so much later.

4. It’s a business people. Like any other business if you don’t put some effort into it, it will fail. Your neighbors are your allies. If you don’t swim together, you’ll sink together.

I think this little article from today’s Chicago Tribune underscores that point.

This quote is particularly telling:

“Larry Hopkins was first to move onto the street, and first to see his monthly payment jump. When he learned his tax bill was the reason, Hopkins asked for more hours at his job as a school safety officer and cut spending.

But the taxes tacked hundreds of dollars on his monthly payment. His 2006 tax bill came to $5,001 for a $125,000 house, records show.

Hopkins said he made calls to local officials, his lender and Cook County offices but got the runaround. He went to his neighbors. "No one would get involved," he said. "They were afraid to speak up and didn't understand my problem because their bills weren't high. They didn't know the same thing was about to happen to them."

The people may have been in a subdivision instead of a condo building, but the basic premise still holds true.



My latest guilty pleasure is the fabulous Jen Lancaster.

Ms. Lancaster is the author of “Bitter Is The New Black” & my personal favorite “Bright Lights, Big Ass.”

I’ve started Bright Lights and was hysterically laughing within the first few pages.

I haven’t initially laughed that hard since I read Tucker Max’s blog.

When I first started reading him I couldn’t stop. He may be a complete misogynist but at least he’s a great writer.

You can’t deny talent.

You can’t deny talent in Ms. Lancaster’s case either.

She may be an unrepentant Fox News Network, Sean Hannity loving Republican but someone has to be, right?

Her book is so funny none of that seems to matter.

Besides don’t we all need a little diversity in our lives, no?

Brickbats

Like the swallows coming back to Capistrano, our association has yet another capital project to tackle.

Some might say that our latest undertaking is a result of the high quality conversion the building went through in 2000-2001.

Others might say that because of the building’s age (100 + years) that this may be a part of regular maintenance.

At this point, only the professional opinion of our vendor(s) will decide which of the two theories is correct.

In the meantime we have to figure out how to finance the tuck pointing of our façade and the possible rebuilding of our front porches.

Jesus take the wheel.

While we’re almost done paying off the back porches, we have to turn our efforts to the next project.

After all we don’t want anymore bricks falling off of our building.

At our first 2008 association meeting, the subject was broached and based on preliminary estimates we can afford to get one side of our façade tuck pointed without raising assessments.

That’s preliminary good news.

I’m worried about if the estimate was wrong or costs spiral out of control. Then what are we going to do?

We’ve worked hard to get our shit together.

Between the self management, self lawn care and careful attention to the bottom line, we’ve made the magic happen.

Naturally we had to crack the whip about the lifeblood of any association---assessments.

Now we’ve got to worry about how to pay for possible latent defects as a result of our developer.

But as I said, only the vendors will be able to pinpoint the true cause of the façade issue.

Don’t think I won’t give you the 411 when the information is available.

I can only assume that I’ll be dreaming of masonry for the remainder of 2008.

Is The Grass Greener?

Once they put the new sidewalk in, the city finally laid down grass seed AND neon green foamy stuff that's supposed to sprout grass in the spring.

I don't know about that.

The color of the neon green seed has diminished and everyone and their mother has been walking through the parkway so it will be interesting to see what comes up in a few months.

Housekeeping

Since the weather’s so crappy these days I’ve been doing some housekeeping on the blog.

With help from a friend, a new template was added. He walked me through how to edit my links so now most of my links work.

I’ve also added a new friend---Chicago Carlessness, a fellow south sider and cycling enthusiast. Give her a big “howdy.”

Maybe if I start biking everywhere instead of taking the bus I’ll be back at college weight before I know it.

By the way Carless, if you happen to run upon another potentially life threatening situation, be sure to have a sharpened old fashioned can opener up your sleeve. I generally find that and some hard looks will back a mother off of you.

Trust me, I know plenty of tough ass white girls. Don’t ever let race be a factor when you must defend yourself.

And speaking of defending yourself, and by defending yourself I mean with knowledge, I’ve also added some new links for the information junkies out there.

AlderTrack and EveryBlock Chicago are for those of you (like me) who literally want to know the latest up to date happenings.

AlderTrack gives you the 411 municipally and EveryBlock Chicago literally gives you the dish on everything else. ‘Cause I know you kids want to find out what’s being zoned down the street from you as well the crime stats with a click of a mouse.

Lastly, some food for thought.

I predict that gentrification and all of the issues that surround it will continue to be a hot button issue for the south side in the years to come.

In my scant time down here, I realized it ain’t all about race.

Those dollars you bring home also play a huge part in how you see the world.

And from where I sit, it seems like a replay of my time in Uptown is shaping up down here in Woodlawn.

The Haves (condo owners) vs. The Have Nots (subsidized renters) vs. The University of Chicago vs. The Old Time Establishment.

With all of that contentiousness it ‘s easy to forget that the root of all of this is people trying to secure the most basic of human needs----shelter.

And no matter how crappy your housing may or may not be when change beckons and the odds don’t look in your favor you tend to come out swinging.

Hence the potential battle royale.

Luckily I ran across a little article written by a person of faith that gave me pause.

It should be required reading before anyone moves into what people like to classify as an “emerging neighborhood.”

It should be required reading for anyone who lives in an “emerging neighborhood.”

It should be required reading for establishment, corporate & neighborhood activist types.

Just a little light reading on coalition building never hurt anyone.

It’s The Fraud, Stupid

Since it’s an election year, I have a question for those who purport change.

When is our government going to get out of the business of subsidizing the hucksters that sap money from condo associations?

How?

It’s only a theory but one that bears repeating.

I don’t think it’s too long of a stretch imagining a person that would commit mortgage fraud would also attempt to defraud the government via a subsidized housing program.

Hell, let’s even take the mortgage fraud out of it since the many ways to defraud lenders and devastate neighborhoods has been talked to death.

Let’s just take this theory on it’s own merits.

Assume you have a landlord who owns a unit in a condominium association who applies for a subsidized housing program.

His or her unit passes the initial inspection, they secure a tenant and the payments from the government commence.

From the landlord’s point of view, everything is humming along nicely.

Now let’s throw a few “what if’s” in the mix.

What if the landlord ceases to pay his or her mortgage?

What if the landlord ceases to pay his or her monthly association assessments?

Now the playing field changes.

You would think that a vigilant board would be able to find out if a unit is subsidized or to notify the proper program officials that such shenanigans are taking place.

If you were a betting person, you’d be wrong.

Per current subsidized housing program procedures, unless you’re the client or the landlord, no information can be released.

And I suppose I understand the reasons for that rule.

The world is not a kind place. Let’s face it, there are those out there who would actively discriminate against clients of the program.

Frankly speaking, they’d be dumb asses to court disaster. Federal housing discrimination lawsuits are a bitch.

Nonetheless for a smart fraudster, that lack of communication----or gaping hole if you will---is a license to print money

You see my friends if that cagey trickster isn’t paying his or assessments but is still getting money from the government, how are you going to stop them?

Any attempts to reach out to the bureaucracy that is subsidized housing usually results with being talked to in very clipped, hurried tones.

You’re all but hung up on.

And I should know, I tried to tackle that maze myself.

As a result, the tricksters and fraudsters are potentially---yes I said potentially since I have no proof---getting away with bags of money on the taxpayer’s dime.

It boggles the mind that an individual can commit fraud, default on a mortgage, endanger a person’s primary residence, financially devastate a condo association AND drive down a neighborhood’s property value just like that (*finger snap*)

In a sense if fraud is being committed, one property could be yielding up to two revenue streams. One from the illegal (and inflated) proceeds and another from the subsidized housing revenues.

Now if the suspect landlord is engaging in these activities the mortgage company loses, the condo associations loses, subsidized housing dollars are being thrown out the window and more importantly the tenant loses.

It’s a big fat bag of ass for everybody.

So in this hotly contested election year I’d ask the candidates how they’d protect the interests of the tenants, condo associations and the public piggybank from assholes who are hell bent on taking all of us for a ride.

That’s the reform I’m interested in.

You Deserve A Break Today

The newly rebuilt McDonalds at Marquette (66th Street) and Stony Island is the hotness.

Apparently the ownership is the same as the McDonalds on 52nd & Lake Park. If that's true, then at least we can be assured that the management will be responsible.

Responsive management is good but I have to say the restaurant is vastly improved over the pile of bricks that was there before. While the new design is cookie cutter as McDonalds go it actually happens to be really is nice.

Before the present ownership took over, the our local McDonalds was, quite frankly, a shit hole.

Panhandlers outside, flithy dining room, slacker employees, menu choices not available----the usual for a south side fast food restaurant.

So when the franchise was sold, it was music to my ears.

Ironically, not too long after the new owner took over she was slapped with health code violations stemming from the old owner's regime.

Or at least that's what the rumor mill said.

But she persevered on, dealt with the health department issues and started the process to build a new restaurant on the old footprint.

In my humble opinion---so far, so good.

Apparently Good Day Chicago felt the same way---they did a live broadcast for their morning show today.

Did anyone catch the flashy flat screen TV and the fireplace on the back wall?

Swanky.

Go Figure

Guess who's on page 63? Thanks for the love Chicago Magazine.

Hellcat

Say what you will about Craig Gernhardt but I’ve always thought highly of him.

For the unfamiliar Mr. Gernhardt is the author of The Broken Heart of Rogers Park which happens to be one of the leading hell raising blogs on the north side.

He questions authority at every turn. Generally giving his alderman and all of the “in the know types” in the 49th ward the business.

That kid takes no prisoners.

A ball breaker extraordinaire.

From political happenings to neighborhood crime to slumlords, Craig finds time to ring everybody’s bell.

Now I haven’t seen him in over eight years but he was no different when we were neighbors in Uptown.

He ran a small flower shop and stayed active in local issues when he was on Wilson Avenue.

He did not suffer foolishness lightly. His fervor for a high neighborhood quality of life was slightly eclipsed by his fervor to take an active part in the solution.

That’s a nice way of saying Craig picked up the trash instead of complaining about it; he confronted the gangbangers instead of backing down and crossing the street; he shooed away the prostitutes and the panhandlers that intimidated most others.

In short, he walked the walk.

He wasn’t (and isn’t) half steppin'.

Personally I remember him for more than his no nonsense demeanor.

I remember him for giving me my first pet.

I remember him for allowing me to buy the funeral arrangement for my mother’s casket on credit because I had to cover the bills at the house in South Bend and had no money.

I remember waving to him and the other ball hawks outside of Wrigley when I was on my way to the bleachers.

I also remember the occasional extra stems he’d slip into a bouquet I’d purchased.

Ever so often I drop in and read his blog. Frankly I think it’s one of the best in the city.

He asks the tough questions and refuses to be led politely down the primrose path.

So I say, “Give ‘em hell Craig.”

You’ve (still) got a friend down in Woodlawn.

The Jackers

A friend was shot at the corner of 67th and Stony Island.

From what I was told, a car with several men stopped near the bus shelter around 7:45PM last Thursday and asked my friend to come over to the car. When he refused and tried to get away, someone from the car pulled a gun out and shot him.

Luckily the bullet only hit his arm and went right through.

Now I'm not sure if this was reported to the police but common sense says that if he received medical care for a gunshot wound then the police were notified.

67th & Stony is only a mere three blocks away from my place.

I haven't heard a peep about this foolishness in any of the mainstream media outlets. I know shootings are pretty common place in Chicago but can a sister get a "heads up?"

Unlike my neighbors to the north in Hyde Park, I don't have a variety of transportation options. If the 6, 28 or 15 is running late I just can't hop on a shuttle.

Even though there are many nights I wish I could.

I look enviously at those warm frequent shuttles that roam throughout Hyde Park. I often wish there was some way I could hitch a ride but the shuttles aren't open to the public. Then of course the University foots the bill for the vehicles, drivers, upkeep and the gas so their students, faculty & staff can stay safe.

Of course since the shooting, you see more University police patroling a wider area.

Which kinda has me thinking.

If Hyde Park is locked down from the jackers and you can't sneeze without having four squad cars show up, who are the criminal types going to prey on?

I'll tell you who----the rest of us who don't have two police departments (regularly)patroling their neighborhood, that's who.

While some parts of Woodlawn get some overlap from the U of C police it seems more like the holding of the Maginot Line rather than effective policing.

I could be wrong.

Usually after the Christmas holidays the jackers take a break.

It's colder, less people are walking around laden down with packages and Christmas cash.

Plus those jacker knuckleheads are gearing up for Christmas number two or as the rest of the world likes to call it the tax refund season.

Watch your ass when you're at a Currency Exchange.

If you go to one of those places to file your return, I'd strongly suggest Turbo Taxing your return online or if you meet the income guidelines having your return done at the IRS downtown.

Whatever the case may be I have an uneasy feeling about this latest crime.

No matter where you live---city or suburbs---you live with the constant threat of violence.

Despite what some people may think no place is exempt. The instances may be few and far inbetween but no place is 100% safe.

I love going to visit friends on the 'burbs but I lock their doors with the same compulsion that I lock mine when I'm hear in Woodlawn.

But I can't be frightened to take the trash out, run errands or wait on public transportation.

Apparently keeping an eye out and being aware of your surroundings isn't enough anymore.

I guess security is a luxury for those who can afford to pay.