Them Jenkins Boys

I have several names for rock heads that generally---well, act like rock heads.

My nickname for them is “the Jenkins boys” or “your cousins”.

It’s about the safest way to refer to a complete dumb ass around other people without tipping your hand to the true identity of who you’re talking about.

In the event you do actually have someone with the surname of Jenkins within earshot you can easily switch over to “your cousins.”

Plus I think they are delicious metaphors.

For example: "The Jenkins Boys acted like asses again and got tossed out of the bar." Or “Didn’t I see your cousins' selling laptops in the parking lot of Home Depot?”

As I’m sure you can imagine there are many Jenkins and sets of cousins roaming in and out of my life.

God knows there are always fuck ups everywhere you go.

I think the great thing about this metaphor is that Jenkins/cousin’s behavior can pretty much fit everyone. History has proven no one nationality, race, gender or social class has a lock on being a complete idiot.

Some are in business suits, some are related to you, some you go to school with and in my particular case some of these fuck ups throw trash out of their car onto the parkway.

Then of course when I first moved to the neighborhood, I used to pick of things a bit more disturbing than empty beer and liquor bottles. So at this point the bottles are an improvement.