Foreclosure Follies

When it rains it pours.

Recently, I wrote that we as an association are out of the foreclosure business. While that statement on its face is true, that still doesn’t mean that we’re still not dealing with the aftermath of the foreclosures.

It’s a complex soup my friends, one that I hope none of you have to go through---ever.

So here’s the latest.

A tenant who resides in one of the foreclosed upon units is being harassed by the new owners to move immediately.

Quite frankly I think they’re acting like supreme assholes.

Another new owner hasn’t received all of the paperwork concerning the property so they’re dragging their feet on securing the unit and paying assessments.

Here’s my favorite quote, “Send us the paperwork for the assessments and we’ll make sure it gets routed to the correct department.”

That really means, screw you---throw a lien on us if you want to see any money.

Oh, and by the way, all of the new owners of the foreclosed upon units are the very mortgage companies that the deadbeats stopped paying.

So we have the privileged as an association to be dealing with four separate financial institutions and their bureaucracies.

Did I mention that I have two jobs? Well this is my third.

And I hope you’re not under the impression that the mortgage companies are paying us because they’re such stand up, civic minded individuals.

They’re paying us because they’re legally bound to and more importantly because I personally tracked each foreclosure and located the contact person or property manager for each mortgage company.

Friends, that is no small feat.

This will be the first year that as an association all 18 units will be paying their assessments.

It’s a proud but poignant milestone.

Almost four friggin years of missed assessments from the deadbeat owners? I can’t believe we didn’t become insolvent.

Frankly it has to be through the grace of God. You know he protects babies and fools as the old folks say.

Oh yeah---we also have a pending closing on one of the foreclosed units. Our first of what I’d like to term as the “fire sale.”

It’s not only important for us to collect assessments from the current owners of the foreclosed units but it’s so important for our property value to get these units sold so our values will continue to rise.

I know property value is a dirty word. No one likes to make it about money but less face facts, at the end of the day the average Joe’s most valuable asset is his home.

We’re no exception.

When you live an emerging neighborhood that has a pattern of mortgage fraud AND four foreclosures, you’re thrilled when you get nibble on the real estate tip.

It appears that it’s (almost) one down and three to go.

Let’s hope that the other three fly off the market this spring/summer.

I’ve already pleaded for you all to be my new neighbor. I don’t know what more you want me to say?

We’re getting new sidewalks and a parkway across the street. It’s gonna make the neighborhood look even prettier---honest to Pete.

As long as you promise to be a resident owner, have basic social skills, a job and pay your bills I wouldn’t care if you had a third eye in the middle of your head.

Hell, Republicans are even welcome.

But let’s keep the wild parties to nil, okay?