Mind In The Gutter

I am haunted by the specter of gutters.

Five days a week I think of nothing but gutters. When will they be done? Will they be able to handle the water runoff?

I am sick of gutters.

Unfortunately the situation is ongoing---the latest wrinkle is that the extra slow gutter guys put one of the gutters on incorrectly. It now has to be taken down, correctly installed and the downspout must be placed into the existing drainage hole.

As it stands, the extra slow gutter guys have the downspout draining next to our foundation and into the alley.

We all know what comes next when water drains to close to a foundation that doesn’t have a downward slope.

Can you say wet basement?

Or in our case wetter basement---we need more water down there like a fat kid needs cake.

My apologies to 50 Cent for borrowing his lyric.

The alley isn’t built to handle water runoff and doesn’t have any open drains where the water could flow away from the building. Additionally the alley would literally turn into an ice rink during the winter.

Mmm…water freezing and melting---cement expanding and contracting. It’s just enough to make you anticipate those costly masonry bills.

The thought just makes my eyes cross.

So now we are faced with two choices: Leave the gutter and downspout the way it is or cough up another $600 bucks to get it done the right way.

I may be sitting in a bus shelter drinking tumblers full of vodka before this is all over.