Officer Krupke

The cat is out of the friggin bag.

According to Caustic, there are many things wrong with me. Let’s tick down the list, shall we?

I am the trash AND the policy police.
I have little empathy for others who make mistakes.
I am passive aggressive.
My e-mails were inappropriate.
I am threatening.

And my personal favorite from all of the fur flying yesterday:

“XXXX, I am very happy with the work you have done for the building and association but their is a certain line that you have crossed before and you have crossed with me...again and i am finally letting you know i don't appreciate it and am not afraid of you and will stand up for myself. I would appreciate it not occurring again.And XXXX I have nothing personal or private to discuss with you. This is a non-issue. If you have serious business, fine, include EVERYONE on it. But don't bother me with this type of BS again."

"Ever.”

Its official kids, I’ve been given an ultimatum AND been called a line crosser.

So much for Caustic becoming a member of the Woodlawn Wonder’s mutual admiration society.

Can’t you hear the resounding chorus of oooooo’s from the crowd of fifth grade girls circled around us?

I mean honestly, can you believe this shit?

Let’s not beat a dead horse by hashing over why Caustic blew this thing up to the stratosphere. Even if my initial e-mail was out of line---which it wasn’t and even if I were dead wrong---which I’m not; dragging everyone and their mother into our little dustup was unnecessary.

Quite frankly it’s a desperate attempt by someone who can’t adequately defend themselves or their actions to gather allies and sympathy.

Much like the commercial that is being fed to the kids these days, I can stand as an Army of one.

Unless it’s a legal or professional situation, I rarely need others to agree with me when I know I’m right.

That way if I’m wrong, it’s only me who sinks---not the rest of the crew.

‘Cause that’s just the type of stand up broad I am.

Nonetheless, I still have to deal with Caustic as secretary of our condo association.

Since everything’s on the record these days, let me respond---if only to you kind readers---to Caustic’s baseless accusations.

I am the trash AND policy police.
A lack of standards and rules got us into trouble as an association in the first place. If a board member can’t query someone about a blatant rule violation, who can?

I have little empathy for others who make mistakes.
Ha! Apparently Caustic does read my blog and didn’t read this post.

I am passive aggressive.
People mistake fair & calm fighting for passive aggressive. Just because I disagree with you doesn’t mean I have to swing on you.

My e-mails were inappropriate.
Of course they’re perceived as inappropriate when people get called on their shit. If that’s my cross to bear then so be it.

I’m threatening.
Ladies and Gentlemen, rest assured that when I threaten you---which rarely happens by the way---you’ll know. Presence and confidence are often mistaken for threats and arrogance. There is a marked difference. Don’t blame me because I’m almost six feet tall and DON’T fit into a size six. I’m a lover, not a fighter.

But don’t think I won’t put a size 11 up someone’s ass when the need arises.

Does anybody want to take bets on when the next brouhaha will be?