Mike Holmes

Mike Holmes is the second best thing to come out of our neighbor from the north since Canadian bacon.

And, in the interest of disclosure, I do have a slight crush on him.

But I digress; there may be those of you who aren’t familiar with Mr. Holmes.

Mike Holmes is a general contractor who has a popular show on HGTV Canada where he fixes other bootleg contractor’s many screw ups.

In the process, he saves home owners from unscrupulous, shoddy and in some cases downright criminal contractors & developers.

Now you know why I adore him.

Then of course that lantern jaw and rockin’ body don’t hurt either.

I see men who obviously work out and pay attention to their bodies by going to the gym. Mr. Holmes on the other hand doesn’t look like that because of a soloflex machine, but rather good old hard physical labor.

I’m sure those natural genes passed down from his mother and father come into play at some point.

I just love that big corn fed lookin’ type of man----it’s just the Hoosier in me.

Mrs. Holmes (naturally, he has to be married) is indeed a lucky woman.

His shit’s so hot one of Hollywood’s most famous lesbians proposed marriage.

He seems like such a good and honest person I’ll excuse the flannel and overalls. Then of course there is no room in construction for couture.

On the other hand, the sentences sprinkled with “eh’s” may be a little bit of a challenge. What can you do, he’s Canadian. You don’t throw out a Cadillac because it has ding in it do you?

That would probably explain why I’ve taken to quietly eyeing the nice construction workers, pipe fitters, iron workers and electricians who roam about the loop.

I see a million “captains of the universe.” You know the type---look at my Porsche, I just made partner at a major law firm, check out my new million dollar condo.

Yeah those guys.

But in a sea of those yahoos, I feel a hankering for guys who can actually do something, guys who actually have a trade, guys who can make something with their bare hands.

Perhaps it’s the physicality of their work, maybe it’s those rippling muscles and perhaps it’s the scent of man so early in the morning. Go figure?

Easy girl…refocus.

Nonetheless, Mr. Holmes’ show is on the Discovery Home cable channel here in the states. I strongly suggest that all of you give it a look in the near future.

You can’t go wrong with a man who has his own set of knee pads for professional reasons.

The Righteous

I’ve finally found a good developer.

I searched high and low, kept my ear to the ground and even solicited you kind readers for potential candidates.

Naturally I wound up with nothing. It was as if the word “good” and “real estate developer” could never be used in the same sentence.

The person I’m about to tell you about not only exists, but has been sitting a few blocks away all this time.

The irony is delicious, no?

Ladies and Gentlemen I’d like to introduce you to Benjamin Van Horne and Greenline Development.

You may have heard about Mr. Van Horne on the Chicago Public Radio broadcast about Woodlawn last week. I remember meeting him at a fundraiser for my alderman.

He seemed nice enough but when we’re talking real estate development, I’m sure the title of this blog says it all. I have a healthy dose of skepticism when it comes to people who have the word “developer” in their job title.

But then I heard the Chicago Public Radio broadcast, found his website and had that warm fuzzy feeling.

Still not convinced, I called over to my alderman’s office and spoke with my contact.

“Is this Van Horne guy the real deal? “

“Believe it or not, yes he is.”

“Bullshit---there has to be something wrong with him---some major character flaw. Developers aren’t nice.”

“No really, he’s the real deal and his buildings are spot on. We’ve never received one complaint.”

“Bullshit---are you for real?”

“Yes I am. He’s a nice guy with a conscious who builds buildings that give people an affordable yet nice place to live.”

That statement left me in a quandary. After all, it goes against everything I’ve ever experienced in the “gut rehab” condo market in Chicago.

I was truly perplexed.

In the interest of disclosure, from what I understand Mr. Van Horne has also done some fundraising for my alderman as well as stumped on her behalf.

Normally my spidey sense would be tingling after such a ringing endorsement, but I actually trust the people in my alderman’s office. If this guy were a fuck up I doubt that the love would be there.

At some point I have to trust in at least one city political institution, right?

Plus I like the fact that he’s a socially responsible capitalist. There ain’t nothing wrong with that.

So I will exhibit something I so rarely do these days---trust.

I think this cat is an honest to god good developer. Apparently the only thing he can’t do is turn water into wine.

So if you’re in the market to purchase a condo and it’s offered by Greenline development, more than likely you’re headed down the right path.

Now that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do your homework like Woody told you to. Remember, there is no substitute for good old fashion fact checking. Always cover your ass.

But unless someone has credible documentation to the contrary, Mr. Van Horne may be the first developer actually given the thumbs up by “I Hate My Developer.”

Let’s hope we’ll be able to add many other names in the future.

Spring Has Sprung

Like the swallows coming back to Capistrano and the boozers flocking to sidewalk cafe's, warm weather is returning to the second city.

Not only will I be putting down the garden in short order, but I'll also be able to shop for fresh produce at one of our many weekly farmer's markets.

My grocery bill will go down and I get to support local farmers---some of which hail from areas around my hometown.

On the hit list for next Tuesday:

Mushrooms
Zuchinni
Yellow Squash
Garlic Cheddar Cheese

…And To Prove My Point

Just in case you thought I was making this plastic flower stuff up, read this little ditty I found on a blog of the Lincoln (NE) Journal Star:


“…works for us! We tried real live flowers and found out it was easier to go to Goodwill or find the plastic ones on sale. My wife changes the flowers in the flower boxes according to the season. There's too much in life to get bogged down in trying to accommodate Mother Nature. And if you put a scented air wick out there they even smell like flowers!”

Butch


*More Heavy Sighing*

God Help Me

I've got personal drama going on and world is in turmoil but the latest thing to draw my attention is a few new landscaping additions.

I'm assuming it's a new neighbor who's making an effort at community beautification.

God bless him or her.

Someone put plastic flowers in one of our gardening beds. Roses to be specific.

I nearly passed out when I walked past the beds this morning on my way to work.

Lord Jesus give me strength.

This mystery person also added a pinwheel lawn ornament to the front yard.

*Heavy Sigh*

They also put white stones around a perennial. Note: It's not like I don't already hate the bootleg red landscaping stones that are already in our planting beds. The white stones just add that little something extra special.

But perhaps I'm getting too territorial and putting the cart before the horse.

Perhaps I should be grateful that I have a neighbor who also has an interest in gardening and the ilk.

The desire is there; maybe we can learn for each other and have a meeting of the minds.

Hopefully we can lose the lawn ornaments and plastic flowers along the way.

Bad Sign, Getting Worse

As luck would have it, my refi dreams are down the shitter.

Apparently either due to the foreclosures in the area as well as neighbors who want a quick sale and sell cheaply, the property value in the hoody hoo has dropped over $30,000.

I’m sure inflated appraisals by bootleg appraisers might have had something to do with this as well.

All of these factors have led to a no go on the refi as the loan to value ratios don’t work.

What does this mean for me?

It means that every six months until I can actually refinance my interest rate adjusts upward.

When my rate adjusts in July I may be looking at an additional $300 tacked onto my mortgage payment.

Now as much as that sucks if I work a little bit harder at the second job and stay in one weekend a month, I can make that up with no problem.

The shit hitting the fan comes in January of 2008.

That’s when the rate adjusts again and another $300-$400 gets tacked on to the first rate adjustment.

It’s gonna get ugly real quick like.

But instead of letting this situation control me, I’m exploring some options and will report back when the workable solutions have firmed up.

Until then I have to repay personal debts and batten down the financial hatches.

It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

Faithful

If the stage play of Xanadu does not reproduce this final scene from the movie down to every last roller skater, baggy pants wearing extra there will be hell to pay.

But recognize that the head dress is mine, bitches.

Represent!

Check out this story on Woodlawn from the nice people at Eight Forty Eight from Chicago Public Radio.

Recognize and Represent!

Learning Curve

Young Mr. Whitefolks has now lived with and by us for the last six months.

By “us” I mean black people.

I’m sure being a minority in a minority neighborhood makes for some interesting stories for the relatives back in Wisconsin.

While Young Mr. Whitefolks enjoys Bronzeville, I’m sure he might still have some questions about black culture at large.

If he were going to ask questions about his neighbors and his neighborhood, this is what I’d imagine he’d say:


Why do you stop the car in the middle of the street to hold a conversation?

Where exactly is this Moo & Oink?

Bud Billiken? Who is Bud Billiken?

So what’s with the spinners?

Must there be two beauty supply stores per block?

What exactly is a square* and why would I have one?

Why does a straight man need a roller set?

So the CTA doesn’t run on time down here?


Despite the questions, I would imagine that Young Mr. Whitefolks has learned two important things about living amongst the peeps.

The first would be to try and buy stock in Newport cigarettes.

The second (and most important) would be to never, ever question a black woman about her hair.

Don’t ask why it’s long one day and short the next.

Don’t ask why some black women’s hair will be colors not found in nature.

Don’t ask about the package of hair.

Don’t pull an Imus.

Don’t ask why you’ll see some black women give the appearance of hitting themselves in the head. She’s scratching her head but is doing so in a manner that won’t mess up the hair style.

Just trust me on this one.

But Mr. Young Whitefolks may have also learned that if you ever touch a black woman’s hair unsolicited may put his physical being at risk.

I can’t wait to talk to him to hear his reflections on six months of south side urban living.

*A square is slang for a cigarette

Sly & The Family Stone

Since I’m pretty damn good at chronicling everybody else’s shit on this blog, I think it’s my turn.

I’ve been a preoccupied little beaver for the past 8 months.

You see I’ve been pulling double duty concerning a family affair. More specifically I’m essentially supporting two households on my meager income.

Well it wasn’t meager until I had to do (most of) the heavy financial lifting for myself and others.

Everything changed 4th of July weekend a few years ago.

That was when my sister made a tragic mistake to drink and drive. The subsequent accident she caused and the death of a motorist on the opposite side of the median changed all of our lives.

And when I say our, I mean mine, her children’s, her victim, her victim’s family and the other young women who where also a part of the accident.

That whole ripple effect is a motherfucker when it happens in your life.

So if you were ever wondering why there would be such huge gaps between postings, now you have your answer.

It’s difficult at best to push for truth, justice and the American way on the condo front; deal with apathetic neighbors AND make sure all the bills and mortgages are paid in two different states.

Did I mention that while all of this is going on, my only sibling who I dearly love---but who clearly fucked up---sits in prison?

Which is exactly where she belongs.

How one stupid ass decision, a momentary lap of judgment can effect so many people’s live is such a profound way.

But while all of this is difficult for me, I can only imagine the frustration of her victim’s family.

If the sentencing statement given by the woman’s adult son is any indication, he’s pulling pretty much the same financial nut as me except he’s desperately angry at my sister.

And who wouldn’t be?

Then of course perhaps our circumstances aren’t so different.

I hope that none of you have a family member or loved one shipped off to jail. But in the course of the last eight months I’ve found out that quite a few people that I know---movers and shakers, sophisticates & ‘round the way girls have a relative or two in the slammer.

It’s funny how people will unburden their souls about the problems in their families when you have complete candor about yours.

They understood my frustration, the dark moods, the rants in letters to my sister about choices in the past that have led up to this specific moment in time.

They understood the tears that still flow even now and how I somehow think it’s my fault for not being able to make everything have a happy ending.

In short, yeah I was pissed. I felt abandoned and alone.

I was the only person from our immediately family still (free) standing and oh so very scared. And yeah, I was preoccupied.

There are many times I barely feel like a fully functioning adult. To truly have to act like one because actual flesh and blood people and animals are depending on you is horrifying.

There’s a reason why I take to cats.

I don’t know how you real adults even handle this much pressure.

So while I don’t want your sympathy I do want you nice people to take something away from this little tale of woe:

Drunk driving is such a preventable crime. If you find yourself boozed up and lack the fucking common sense to not get behind the wheel; I hope and pray you surround yourself with people who will break their shoe off in your ass in order to save lives.

I know from firsthand experience. Don’t do it----the risks and consequences far outweigh you leaving your car somewhere.

For those of you who have lost a loved one or friend to this senseless act, my heart is always with you.

My mother died almost eight years ago and I was so not ready for her to go. While the circumstances weren’t as tragic and violent, I do know what it’s like for someone to leave you unexpectedly.

Lastly I learned that you can’t live someone’s life for them. On the flip side you can’t hold yourself responsible for their mistakes.

That’s always a tough one to deal with, right?

For reasons that I won’t discuss---hell even my closest friends don’t know----my sister and I have a history that may seem familiar to some yet foreign to others.

Some things just have to remain private.

And no I won’t answer any questions about the accident and the like. Not only is it still too close to the surface but it’s just plain none of your business.

This shit is hella painful.

But you’re wondering, “Why did she choose to post about this at this particular time?”

Two words---background knowledge.

Happily Ever After

It’s nice to see that Mr. Knight & Mr. Cousin are doing so well in their personal lives.

Warm Sunday

These were some of the sights seen yesterday while picking up gardening supplies around the intersection of 87th & the Dan Ryan:

Several lifestyle vignettes featuring the newly added outdoor furniture section at 87th & Dan Ryan Jewel; a bistro set was styled with a wine glass and a bottle of Boone’s Farms Blue Hawaiian.

At that same Jewel I was able to find micro brewed beer (Sam Adams) AND Morning Star Farms veggie burgers as opposed to malt liquor and no veggie burgers. Perhaps someone has been listening to my grocery rants after all.

While there is a brisk business trade in the median on 87th Street, the bootleg Newport cigarette guy is new. Normally you can buy anything from a Final Call to bean pies to a 10 pack of socks; tax stamped cigarettes is a new entry into the roster of products. What do you bet that the government will be down there in a quick hurry to put an end to that foolishness?

A very confused looking white couple in a BMW Z4 roadster at the corner of 65th & State.

More enterprising individuals selling “oils & incense” out of a van parked in a gas station parking lot at the corner of 87th & the Dan Ryan while also serving flavored sno-cones and slushies.

And my personal favorite:

A Plymouth Voyager mini-van with spinners.

You seriously cannot buy this type of entertainment. I love the south side

I Just Can't Make This Stuff Up

I know this is a blog where you can read about the dangers of bootleg developers and apathetic neighbors but I've happened upon a gem I've just got to share.

Apparently it's all about the pussy power!

I shit you not, Alexyss K Tylor is my new fucking hero.

The Yo

Bias and racism are still very much alive in the Chicago real estate market.

I know it makes people uncomfortable to acknowledge the 800 pound gorilla but ignoring it won’t make it go away.

That’s why the kids at YoChicago are so refreshing.

Now in the interest of disclosure, they did a little blurb about this blog a while back.

That still doesn’t negate the consistently superior work that the Yo does covering all of Chicago neighborhoods.

And when I say all of Chicago’s neighborhoods---I mean ALL of Chicago’s neighborhoods.

Not just the north side.

You see my funky friends if you look at corporate relocation periodicals and moving guides you’ll notice the Maginot Line drawn about at the South Loop with Hyde Park as the lone beacon of civilization on the south side.

But that’s only if you’re an egghead academic and have to be there.

Apparently there is only a small sliver of the city that’s acceptable to live and play in. Therefore those neighborhoods are the only one’s that garner the lion’s share of positive media attention.

Those kids at the Yo seem to think differently about that.

While time---and let’s face it, laziness, prevent me from schlepping around most of this beautiful city; those saucy kids at the Yo do all of the work for me so I don’t have to get up off of my Chipotle soft taco eating ass.

More to the point, I love the fact that the south side and west side gets as much play as any of the premiere neighborhoods to the north and east.

In fact, my perceptions about Austin were changed by the lovely homes I saw in a video entry.

And that interview with Dempsey Travis was priceless.

Now that doesn’t mean I’m gonna rush right out and move, but I’d love to hop in my gay boyfriend’s SUV and house shop affordable Victorians.

We need to plan for our dysfunctional marriage and co-parenting our turkey baster baby with his husband of 16 years.

Such is the knowledge that the Yo imparts.

It seems that the Yo is taking those oft held beliefs about the south side and those of us who choose to make our home here and are smashing them to pieces.

It’s about time.

Maybe This Is Why I'm Surrounded By Gay Men

In a million years I never would of believed the dream would come true.

They're mounting a Broadway production of the movie Xanadu!

God I'm so excited! I'm so selling my Bear's tickets to raise money for a New York trip.

Why does this shit always happen when cash is tight?

The Rich & The Infamous

Since the weather was so nice yesterday, a friend and I took a slight detour to indulge our house envy near our respective ‘hoods.

As you know I live in Woodlawn and he living in Washington Park so before our little trip up to the north side, we decided to split the difference and look at those super groovy mansions in Kenwood.

Note: While single families in Hyde Park are expensive; I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that you need your last two year’s tax returns and W-2’s to walk down the street in Kenwood.

It’s a touch pricey.

My friend pointed out the home where Black Islamic leader Louis Farrakhan resides as well as other properties owned by the Nation of Islam.

While the neighborhood is beautiful, the architecture and landscaping on the five properties wasn’t my cup of tea. It didn’t look like it fit in with the Victorians in the area.

Then of course the hard looks were we given by the Nation of Islam’s 24 hour, 365 day a year resident security presence on the street outside of the main residence didn’t really encourage drive by browsing.

Let’s suffice it to say that you’d rather get arrested by the Chicago Police than play a game of tough guy with these very serious, heavily (and legally) armed, dour gentlemen.

If you are lingering in the street without a clear destination or linger just a little bit too long, they will trot right over and ask you your business. More importantly they’ll ask you to move---and they mean right now. Not a minute from now.

I love a well dressed man---don’t get me wrong---those guards I saw yesterday were smokin’ hot .

But that whole not drinking, woman subservient cover my head thing just isn’t in my personal game plan---no matter how hot the man.

We wisely (and quickly) drove on.

Then we saw the house where the big dog lives.

Sen. Barack Obama’s hot ass Victorian mansion is the bomb diggity.

Apparently his books sold briskly ‘cause that pile of bricks ain’t cheap.

His house is beautiful and that is an understatement. Then of course I’ve always been a sucker for a wrap around porch.

I would have loved to drink in the beauty of that gorgeous house a bit longer but apparently the Senator has his own security parked across the street.

They're called the Chicago Police Department.

I would imagine now that he’s declared his presidential candidacy he’s eligible to received Secret Service protection to his person, his family and his house.

Now while I saw the blue and white across the street, I’d think it’s pretty safe to assume that the men in dark suits and driving dark sedans weren’t too far away.

After all you don’t want to let your home envy get you thrown in the slammer.

Bad Sign

My mortgage person is missing in action.

After the appraisal flap, I take no news as bad news.

None of you have any idea how much of a serious monkey wrench has been thrown in my personal financial plans.

I anticipate my monthly mortgage payments will go up another $300-$400 dollars a month until I can find a new deal.

While I’ve started working on another lender, I’m battening down the hatches to prepare for the upcoming storm.

I should be able to ride it through for a month or two but if it’s extended for a longer period, I'll be in trouble.

Additionally, the mortgage adjusts every six months so God only knows how high that bad boy will go.

I’ll tell you one thing---I have no intentions on finding out.

Let's all keep our fingers crossed.

Disappeared

It was like the Lord High Executioner had fallen off of the face of the earth.

Ever so often I would call and e-mail about some slowly moving business that we had discussed but this time my messages went unanswered.

So I called and wrote numerous times.

No response.

Then I started calling Buford Pusser.

At least I got a voice mail back. The subsequent game of phone tag yielded the same results.

So then I started calling the Lord High Executioner’s cell phone number.

In retrospect he may be kicking himself for giving me that information.

I also asked a friend who works in the law department for the city what the deal was---why was the LHE so hard to get a hold of?

My friend gave me the skinny---the LHE got transferred over to the Building Department to help those kids out while they’re ironing out their problems.

Within 24 hours of hearing that news, The Lord High Executioner himself called & left me a message.

I was being handed off to another person within the law department.

While it’s nice to know the love is still there ( I think?) I now have to start from scratch with the new guy.

When he called me yesterday, I suggested that he start reading this blog.

You loyal readers know that everything that’s been going on simply defies a two or three sentence description. I mean who would believe it?

I pray that the new guy will be as helpful as the LHE.

Oasis

I’ve hipped you to the deal about the food desert.

I was devastated when Cub Foods closed.

Frankly if it weren’t for Peapod, I would have starved to death by now.

It would appear that my fellow south siders in zip code 60615, 60616, 60637, 60643 & 60653 are in on the secret too.

In an article published in the April 1st Chicago Tribune, Peapod deliveries to those zip codes have dramatically increased since 2002.

I was a huge fan of Peapod when I lived on the north side but when I moved south of Madison Street I became persona non-grata.

That’s when I discovered Cub foods and made the trek to purchase my groceries. I mean if the same person with an established account can’t get the love, I interpret that as my money’s no good.

So I boycotted them for a few years.

Now I’m not sure when Peapod changed their tune but we went back on speaking terms about a year and a half ago.

These days if you don’t place an early order for your grocery delivery, you’re screwed.

As I read the article several things stood out. I liked the fact that the following trend was identified:

“More than half a million Chicagoans live in a food desert, according to a study conducted last year, but a new analysis by the study's author, done at the request of the Tribune, underscores what Peapod users already know: Not everyone in a food desert is poor.”

“Of the 203,369 households in the desert, clustered on the South and West Sides, 31 percent have an annual income of $50,000 or more, study author Mari Gallagher found.”

Well duh.

I'm not rolling in the big dough but I have a few pennies to rub together (sometimes).

Shopping in the 'hood is not only frustrating but in a way highly entertaining.

I'm used to people looking at me like I’m some kind of freak when I ask for the refrigerated pesto?

Morningstarm Farms veggie burgers? Fugetaboutit!

Can a sister get some brie up in this bitch?

Probably not.

You'd think all south siders (read: black people) consume is Yoo-Hoo & Pork Rinds.

Progress On Dorchester

The top photo is an update of a previous picture I posted in February.

While it's great to see new construction in the neighborhood, I personally think the design and facade choices leave a little bit to be desired.

It's going to be interesting to see how that property will be marketed.

The bottom picture is the brand spanking new project that broke ground a few weeks ago.

They're moving so fast on the construction, that the second story is literally going up as I write. In fact, their moving so fast I have yet to see any permit information posted about the project.

The Gift That Keeps On Giving

It’s difficult to realize that despite all of your hard work, that there are some things you just can’t control.

Such is the way of the foreclosures in my association and on my block.

Despite the fact the process started over two years ago, the repercussions of those foreclosures linger like a bad stench.

I was surprised to see a much lower value for my unit once the appraisal came back last Thursday afternoon.

I cursed the name of the former owners in our association who only seemed to care about their bottom lines and nothing else.

After gulping down that big glass of haterade, I rallied the forces of good and countered with supporting comps of units that weren’t exactly like mine but provided a basis for a much higher appraisal.

An extra $40,000 is nothing to sneeze at.

As of this writing, the appraisal department has the paperwork and will render a decision in the next day or two.

That still leaves me and any other people in my association who try to refi or sell in a hell of a predicament.

Do we accept shit comps from someone who can’t even pull values from around the corner? Do we fight it and hope for the best or do you lower your selling price (and grab your ankles) as the market is still very much tipped toward the buyer?

So like the nice article said, do some homework prior to plunking down your hard earned cash for a place.

If you’ve got a high number of foreclosures and investors with rental properties you may want to steer clear or have a diamond in the rough. It all depends on your outlook.

Let’s say you’re only going to stay for a short while or you’re not the type who’s not into community involvement.

My suggestion would be to head for the hills.

You’re the type of person who wants a ready made hood. A neighborhood with bright young things strolling the boulevards, people with good dental plans, shopping, nightlife and all of that jazz.

And if you have the money, and some do, head for one of the many neighborhoods in Chicago that will fulfill your urban desires.

But for those of us with Tiffany wishes in a Jewelry Exchange world, we have to look elsewhere.

If you are the type who can make a dollar out of fifteen cents and plan on staying put five years or longer, an “emerging” neighborhood may be for you.

You may not have the fabulousness of the ready made hood and you won’t have grocery store anywhere around you, but eventually you will be thought of as the forward thinking type as you had enough foresight to see potential.

Kinda like Gloria Estefan before Emilio got to her.

After all, anyone with money can buy fabulousness; it takes a special breed of person to make fabulousness.

You, my urban pioneer, can consider what type of new construction is (or may be) happening in the neighborhood over the next few years.

While prices may be depressed now, in a year and a half to two years, its gonna be a whole new ball game.

How so?

For those of you who don’t know, real estate appraisal comps are comprised of what has recently sold in your neighborhood or in my case my building and my neighborhood.

Because of the low selling foreclosures in my building (a 2 br for $108K), and three other low selling foreclosures down the block (on average $130K a piece) I should have anticipated that I would have trouble.

Had my appraiser simply taken into consideration the recent sales of the condos around the corner I’d have a whole different ballgame.

Now I don’t have all of the bells and whistles that the units around the corner have (stainless appliances, granite, half bath or parking space) but according to a friend’s calculations that should of only knocked my appraisal down $20,000---not $55,000.

But on the bright side when the proposed developments behind me either get built or sell, real estate in east Woodlawn is quite literally going to go through the roof.

That will take about two to three years to happen, but I’m not in a hurry.

I’ll simply continue to make improvements to my unit so it can be on par with my new neighbors.

If You Don't Believe Me...

If my examples of our condo's growing pains with investors haven't been enough, perhaps you'll believe it from our friends at YoChicago.

The Appraisal

There's a reason why all of the little things matter.

High foreclosure rates paired with too high a number of rental units equals appraisal disaster. At least it did for me when I got an appraisal last week as a part of my refi of an ARM mortgage.

You see I was one of those people who actually paid attention to the fine print.

I actually knew that my mortgage payment would be adjusting in May and didn't want a $350 surprise when I went to pay my June mortgage.

So I investigated rates and the like with my current mortgage holder, decided that they were smoking crack as there terms were nutty; and choose to look elsewhere for reasonable financing.

I found a lender (my bank) and everything has gone through with flying colors until we hit a small stumbling block called the appraisal.

The appraiser and I don't exactly see eye to eye on the value.

In fact, there are 55,000 little reasons why we're not seeing eye to eye.

I know you're asking yourself, Woody---what the hell? How in God's name could there be that much of a disparity in what you think your unit is worth vs. what an appraiser thinks your unit is worth?

At this time and in this place the value of some Woodlawn real estate isn't too bright.

The real estate chickens have come home to roost. Foreclosures seem to haunt those of us who continue to live in a neighborhood long after the banks have taken over the properties.

My New Best Friends

It looks like my association isn't the only one who's being (been) shafted.

Apparently some of our north side neighbors who bought into the development at 156 West Superior paid a lot more money for what they deem as questionable work.

Allegedly the developer isn't being very responsive. So they've decided to (legally) take matters into their own hands. They're fighting back with a little website devoted to airing out their problems.

It even has awesome captioned pictures!

Viva La Resistance!

The Note

Our door troubles are seemingly resolved---at least for the time being.

After yet another mysterious latch problem and a discussion with a fellow board member who also lives in my building, I posted a note in the foyer.

In short the note said to stop screwing with the latch. It’s a security issue AND if you get caught, you’ll be financially liable for destruction of association property.

To the best of my knowledge, the latch drama has been reduced to zero.

Our lovely door has been in perfect working order ever since.

Apparently secure doors---not tall fences---make good neighbors.

Slow Grind

The city has finally responded to my cab driver complaint I filed earlier in the year. This letter came in the mail on Saturday:


To: The Woodlawn Wonder

Re: Complaint SR Number07-0000XXXX

This letter is an update of the Department of Consumer Services’ investigation of the taxicab, taxicab driver or taxicab company you reported for investigation.

Based on your complaint affidavit and the Department of Consumer Server (“the Department”) investigation, the Department filed charges against the taxicab, taxicab driver or taxicab company for violations of the Municipal Code of Chicago at the City of Chicago’s Central Administrative Hearing Facility.

If the Respondent(s), the taxicab, taxicab driver, or taxicab company, demand a trial the Department will notify you of the scheduled trial date and time. You will be notified by mail, phone call and or e-mail or the trial date, time and location. Your testimony is essential for an effective prosecution of the Department’s case. You will have the option to testify by phone or in person at the trial.

If the case does not progress to a trial you will still be notified of the outcome of the Administrative hearing proceedings. Possible other outcomes are that the Respondent(s) plead liable to the charges OR that a Default Order is entered against the Respondent(s) for failing to appear at the initial hearing.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me. Please reference the above listed complaint SR number in any correspondence with this Department.


It sounds like someone is about to get sat in the corner for not playing fair. Updates will be forthcoming.

The Door

Someone is being an asshole.

Someone is being an asshole and pissing me off.

For the past two months, the lock on our front entrance has either been disabled or not working properly.

As a result the door won’t latch and is left unlocked for days at a time. Oh yeah, you heard me correctly---days at a time.

Now I love Woodlawn, but there is a reason why we have locks on our doors.

As a security conscious type of broad this hasn’t been sitting too well with me.

All it takes is a woman with cold feet or some other nefarious individual and next thing you know we are in the middle of a “situation.”

And when I say “situation” I mean break in or other types of drama.

Now I don’t know about what’s happening in your lives, but I have plenty of shit to tend to all of my own, I don’t need additional drama.

How do I know that someone is intentionally vandalizing the lock?

The locksmith paid us a visit on Monday and put brand new hardware on our door. We even got a nice new handle on the inside that says “pull.”

Tuesday everything was fine.

Tuesday night at 11:00 PM when I came in, everything was fine.

Wednesday morning the lock wasn’t latching again.

Apparently we have gremlins as one of their legion came and unscrewed the lock hardware.

Now either someone has a key to our crib and is fucking with us or someone wants to make entrance to our building accessible to God knows who for whatever reason.

I have very strong suspicious on who’s doing this but I’ll have to let that sleeping dog lie until I can get the proof.

Not only is this unsafe for everyone who lives in the building but it’s costing the association a fortune in locksmith and handyman bills.

Someone has a funky beat down coming.

Food

Familiarizing herself with her surroundings, Patty Cake went to a few local grocery stores in search of a place to pick up a few items if she ever ran out of something.

She was amazed by the lack of nutritious food.

She saw no bottled water, fresh fruit or vegetables----milk that wasn’t flavored?

Fugetaboutit!

“Woody all of the food is shit. It's high calorie, high fat junk food. There’s nothing in these stores to eat.”

I just looked at her.

What was I supposed to say?

The ‘Cake lives in a food desert.

The nearest “real” grocery store that I could think of is The Jewel at the corner of 76th & Stony Island.

Note: a “real” grocery store is a store with fresh produce, meat and milk. Not one who’s entire shelf space is stocked with flaming hot cheetos, yoo-hoo and hog head cheese.

The Jewel was over 12 blocks west as the crow flies.

Now for Patty Cake that isn’t a big deal as she has a car and can strap Baby Cake in the car seat and go about her business.

For those of us who don’t have a car or a willing chauffeur, public transportation is the only other option.

Let me tell you that keeping your perishables cold while waiting 30 minutes on a bus during a sweltering day can be a bit challenging.

Good luck toting around over $200 worth of food to the crib with sketchy characters mulling around.

But for God’s sake protect the beer at all costs.

Now remember that’s if you can plan a trip to the nearest grocery store and have the wherewithal to drag your groceries home.

At times, some people (read: me) pay for taxicabs or the store may have an in house livery service that ferries patrons back home for a modest fee. Unfortunately due to insurance reasons most of the larger chain stores have done away with this time honored tradition.

So what’s a person to do when they live in a food desert or they’re older with mobility problems or they just live too far away from the nearest grocery store?

They rely on the small local stores that thrive in both my and The ‘Cake’s neighborhood.

In turn their captive patronage is greeted by inadequately stocked, unattractive stores that do little to nurture the neighborhood literally or financially.

Now it’s one thing to charge three times the price for an item and justify it by saying that you can’t purchase at the same rates like the large chain stores, but it’s quite another to take all of your profits out of the community.

You make money off of the hoody hoo but can’t sponsor a Little League Team?

I’m sorry I didn’t mean to go all Marcus Garvey on you kids---I’ll get off my soap box now.

Oft times the unfortunate fact of living in a food desert is that the small independent grocery stores are usually owned by people whose only connection to the communities that they serve is a business license.

Let’s not even get started on the quality of the “food.”

Methinks if The ‘Cake runs out of milk for the baby, it just might be worth the investment in a dairy cow.

At least she’ll know the milk is fresh.

Ms. White Folks

Lord Jesus protect us. There’s a new white girl in town.

Patty Cake has moved to South Shore with her man and her baby.

She was formerly a Hyde Parker but she and her man took the plunge and became home owners with the arrival of the little one.

Loving a good deal and not afraid to be a minority in her own neighborhood, she and her family moved to 76th & Essex.

Do’h!

Child, please.

Patty Cake can literally roll with anyone. She is one of the few white people that I know that will actually live in a mostly black neighborhood and not think that it was odd.

Hell, Patty Cake might even have an afro pick somewhere on her dresser.

While she’s a down ass broad, don’t mistake her coolness for either liberal guilt or an attempt to launch a career as a white rapper. She knows she’s white.

No disaffected speech, no baggy clothes and thank God she hasn’t french braided her hair.

She keeps it real Patty Cake style.

Last Sunday another mutual friend Nasir and I stopped by the Cake’s house for a chat and to see the new digs.

Unfortunately we dropped by too late to see the baby but Patty Cake’s fish out of water stories did not disappoint.

“You know Woody the kids have kind of adopted me around here and shepherded me through these first few months.”

“Ya don’t say?”

Did I mention that the ‘Cake is an educator so she has a natural rapport with the pre-teen set.

“Yeah, they’ve told me to stay out of the Family Dollar and off of Hamilton street.”

Now I don’t know jack about the South Shore neighborhood so I generally accepted this as wise decisions from the tykes.

“It’s like my neighbors have adopted me.”

“Probably.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“To keep you safe. Everyone knows if something happens to you and that baby the police will be all over this neighborhood like stink on shit.”

Patty Cake shot me a quizzical look

“Heavy police presence will disturb the ebb and flow of the streets. No one will make any money. It’s just easier to keep you and the baby safe.”

She then told of how the older women across the street advised her to make a small slice in her city and license plate sticker.

‘Cause everyone knows that if you put them in you window or on you plates intact they’ll both be gone in less than 24 hours.

Well everyone knew that except the ‘Cake.

God bless her.

She also told of the helpful police officers and random people who stop and ask her if she wants a ride back to her car or if she needs any help.

They stare in amazement when she tells them that she lives in the hoody hoo.

As our conversation wore on and we talked on various subjects, Patty Cake would remark: That’s exactly what the ladies across the street said!

I told her that I’ve been at this black thing for a couple of years and might have learned a thing or two.

Nonetheless she was perplexed at why her repeated calls to her management company to fix the front gate had fallen on deaf ears.

I told her the answer was simple, “They think you’re black.”

I hated to tell her that in 2007 laws have changed but many things are still the same.

I further stated that they either think you’re black or that you’re not a very respectable white person.

“Why would they think that?”

“Cause what type of white person would live in a neighborhood with all of these niggers?” I replied.

You could hear Patty Cake and Nassir suck the air out of the room as my last comment caught them off guard

“I’m just telling you how it works ‘Cake. Your best bet is to take you and your baby down to the management office and present yourself.”

“Why bring the baby?”

“To show that your living at 76th and Essex is not the result of a mixed marriage. In my opinion they’ll take you more seriously if they know an honest to god white couple with a child lives in the development.”

Such is the state of things in Chicago these days.

“Cake, it doesn’t phase me anymore when people meet me after they talk to me on the phone---they’re totally expecting a white woman. I just use it to my advantage.”

Speaking the King’s English is not necessarily a bad thing.

When I mentioned to my friend Rita that I was in her old stomping grounds and told her where I was she whipped around and said, “Why were YOU there?”

“Visting a friend”

“I didn’t know you rolled like that over in Terror Town.”

“Oh no Rita, this a friend who just bought a condo.”

“At 76th and Essex? Are you bullshitting me?”

“Nope…And she’s white.”

“What did she do that for?”

I generally took this as a sign that perhaps Patty Cake hadn’t moved to the Gold Coast. From my limited observation I can tell you that Jamba Juice has yet to scout locations close to her house.

In parting I told her that I would visit more often as her everyday life would be better than any admission based entertainment currently offered in the city limits.

Think about it, Patty Cake sitting on a folding chair eating watermelon (no, I’m NOT making this up) with mature black women on a hot summer’s day.

Pass the salt, child. Pass the salt.

Head Scratcher

As most of you already know, the aldermanic races are long over.

While my alderman retained her seat, 20th ward alderman Arenda Troutman was trounced by her opponent Willie B. Cochran. Personally speaking that should have come as no surprise to anyone.

Nonetheless I find it highly coincidental that ground has been broken for what I strongly suspect will be another new condo development on Dorchester.

If you’ve been keeping count, that’s three---count ‘em---three new developments on Dorchester between 63rd and Marquette

Interesting timing, just dumb luck or fate? You decide.

Neville Chamberlain

There is peace in our time---at least for now.

I’m sure you kids were wondering what exactly happened with all of that unmixing business.

After all of that back and forth the bottom line is that my neighbor and I went ahead and got our electrical lines straightened out---I’m the only one paying for and using my power.

The power to our tier had to be shut off temporarily but to my knowledge no one else in the building was permanently affected by our decision.

While I’ve noticed very little difference service wise, my first floor neighbor is happy to report that for the first time in almost four years she can now run her washer, dishwasher AND microwave at the same time.

That sound you hear is my neighbor clicking her heels.

Hopefully my electric bill will drop dramatically. Only time will tell.

So currently there is no drama, no ping-pong e-mails and hard looks given in the hallway.

Things seem kinda normal.

Then of course we do have a condo board meeting tomorrow night.

H&R Black, Redux

I am woman enough to admit when I’m talking out of my ass.

The “I Got People” campaign by tax powerhouse H&R Block was not directly aimed at black people or African American neighborhoods.

Everyone in our great nation got the benefit of having “people”.

I jumped the gun and ran with that one. My apologies to the cats at Block and their advertising peeps.

Now that we’re all friends again, perhaps you can answer what’s up with those rapid refund loans?

And while I’m thinking about it, have you kids taken some of that loot you make off of the multiple areas you serve and oh, I don’t know----reinvest it back in those communities?

Since I already made one assumption I’m sure there are college scholarships, a neighborhood center or a little league sponsorship that I may not be aware of as well?

I’m just asking.

E-mail me via the link on my profile, H&R Block. Give me the 411 on your community service and outreach.

I always like to spread the news about those who do good in the ‘hood.

What's New Pussycat, Part II

Not to be outdone on the development tip, Dorchester Street (Avenue?) has new construction projects as well.

Even Though We Lost, We Still Won

Yeah I know the picture's a little late but look at what we get to look at every day (weather permitting)

Civil War

I sent a "head's up" e-mail to the wife of one of our board members; she also happens to live across the hall from me. I figured that as a common courtesy that she should also know what's about to happen as 4 or the 6 unit owners are about to embark on this electric project.

The e-mail below are her feelings on the subject. This ought to be an interesting next two weeks.


Thanks for sending me the update.

What interruptions do you forsee? If the interruptions are just temporary shutting off power to do the work, that is understandable, at least from my perspective. This type of interruption would not cost the board anything and not require the association to hire anyone. But if electrical work in the common areas is needed as a result of the work in individual units, I don't think the board should pay for an electrician, since the work is being done in individual units & the board has consistantly said they would not pay for this.

If anything is interrupted or damaged in the common elements as a result of the work, I believe that the unit owners would be liable for that, but we should consult the lawyer about that. The board should not pay for something that it has clearly stated that it would not pay for and any expense related to it should come from the unit owners t! hat are doing the work. In sum, before anything seriously impacts the electricity of the common elements, it should have board approval.

Since the board has consistantly said that they would not pay for any electrical work and this is not an approved common element expense, the association should not be out of money to pay for any electrical work until that is voted on by the board. There are specific steps that need to be taken in terms of board approval for any expense.

As you all know, we are still not in financial situation to pay for expenses like this when we have immediate things that need to be paid for. Having another special assessment to pay for electrical work is simply out of the question, but would be the only option considering that we are still in debt! I personally cannot afford more expenses considering that we have structural damage on the front decks, as well as damage to our stairs, and the $10,000 debt that was not accounted for in the 1st special, just to name a few problems.

Just my thoughts.

The Unmixing, Parting Words

I sent this final e-mail of the series on 1/26/07 to the tier owners and the Property Manager of the second floor unit:

XXXX,

XXXX and I are not upgrading the electrical in our units. We are simply ensuring that the proper lines are going to the proper circuits that in turn is being billed to the correct individual.

All in all it's very simple.

Carlton Knight put every last unit owner in this position and there is no easy way to figure out a solution. Despite the fact we have a strong legal case, we can't sue him as we have not been able to locate his money. So in the end, we as an association have to figure out how to deal with this issue. Both XXXX and I were hoping that as a tier we could all work together with this fix and finally have our electrical in good working order.

Apparently that is not the case.

As I stated previously, unit owners will pay one way or another---either out of pocket or with a special assessment. On it's face, it seems that it would be cheaper to simply pay the $350 out of pocket to ensure the safety, security and electrical accuracy of XXXX's property and her tenant.

You are correct, we will proceed with this project with or without you. Now it would be great if 1509, #2 were on board but if you choose not to be and the unit has power issues as a result, you can never say that the process wasn't inclusive or that you weren't given sufficient warning.

Regardless of your level of participation, we will still keep both you and the board updated with timelines and our progress.

If you feel the need to take a litigious posture please note that most owners in the association are in possession of a number of documents detailing the status of the electrical. Since the electrical remains in this questionable state, if XXXX ever chooses to enroll the unit in the CHAC program I would think that once a CHAC inspector got his or her hands on that report and see the electrical boxes in person, the unit may not pass an inspection.

Naturally no CHAC clients could be placed in the unit until the issue is addressed. That could mean the potential loss of rental income & subsidies.

XXXX and I are not trying to be inconsiderate or thoughtless. I can imagine you would not want to live in a place where you wonder if you can wash your clothes, dishes and run your microwave at the same time but also wonder what your electricity bill will be based on the usage of your neighbor.

The XXXX condo association cannot reimburse me for the electrical bills I've possibly paid for in the last five years nor will I ask them to.

My hope is that with a few people we can start to find our way out of this mess and make our building a better place to live.

It is unfortunate that the #2 unit may be affected by the path we're choosing but there really is no other way to straighten out this situation.

The Unmixing, Litigation Edition

Believe it or not, this e-mail saga is winding down.

The property manager sent a final response on 1/26/07 on his postion. Naturally I had an initial brief response. The e-mail was sent to the usual cast of characters (tier owners & the board):


Well, it's good to know where you both stand. I don't see any additional correspondence necessary since your decisions are final.

I back you both 100% in your desires to upgrade your units, however you see fit. I'm just saddened that you refuse to be empathetic and consider our desire to not be effected by your decisions.

I am confident that not only do the Declarations and By-Laws but that the judicial system also will support our case.

Please take this information as you see fit, but understand that if we are effected, we will seek retribution by the full extent of the law.

...And I fire back:


Duly noted.

The Unmixing, The First Floor Chimes In Again

This e-mail was sent on 1/26/07 by the first floor unit owner on my tier to the board and all tier owners:


To everyone:

We can definitely talk more about solutions, but my intention to separate my
lines from the unit above me is a done deal. And I won't feel a bit sorry
for the electricity going out, because everyone has known about these issues
for the past 4 years.

I would think that a person would fix their problem areas in the unit first, then rent it out, but that's just how I would handle mine.

If you were that concerned with how this was going to big problem once we decided to get the work done, why haven't you communicated any input until now or maybe did some research yourself to try to come to a solution?

What about your responsibility as a property manager XXXX, you mean to tell me XXXX never mentioned this to you and your blindsided by this situation? This is just another instance where I find it disappointing that a very important issue like our electrical is being trivialized.

Our electrical is jacked and I am not going to live with intertwined lines any longer, let alone, not having enough power to run my apartment on a stable level.

I'm done for now.

The Unmixing, Snarky Is As Snarky Does

The following e-mails were also sent on 1/25/07 to the tier owners and the board:

From the Property Manager:

XXXX,

Thanks for your response. Your passion toward fixing this issue is evident and understood. Still, I'm in need of some clarification on a few points made in your email.

It appears from your perspective that this discussion is over. You're unwilling to take this to the board and this project is going to happen, sometime mid-to-late February. Furthermore, your position appears to be that since you've sufficiently warned us, if you disrupt any of our electricity, we better call an electrician and find the money to pay for it because "the onus falls on [us]."

I know that email can be taken out of context because one cannot read body language, facial expressions, and other aspects necessary to effectively communicate without misunderstanding. Your commitment to the association, compassion for your neighbors and willingness to follow procedures addressed in the Declarations and Bylaws suggest that I'm misinterpreting your email. Will you please shed some light on my confusion?

...And My Response:

XXXX,

What clarification did you need? What questions or concerns did I not answer?

The Unmixing, I Explain AGAIN...

This e-mail, sent on 1/25/07, is my response to the property manager's queries. It also went to the unit owners on my tier and the board:


XXXX,
Our current electrical system is an unfortunately legacy of Carlton Knight's shoddy development.

For those of us who have been here since the beginning, we know that Mr. Knight left us with significant and expensive infrastructure issues. Some of which are just now pushing to the head of the repair list. Unfortunately the electrical has been a known and documented concern within the association for at least three or four years. As XXXX may have shared with you the back porch project of 2006 was our first priority.

The point you make about a limited common element and the payment concern may have some merit, the fact remains that the money is coming out of unit owner's pockets one way or another. It will either come out of pocket voluntarily or via another special assessment.

Frankly speaking as both a board member and unit owner, I am not willing to put my neighbors through another potential special assessment when we are barely half way through paying off the first one.

Additionally let's be clear on what that $350.00 covers: That is simply to make sure that the correct electrical lines for the correct unit are going to the correct circuits. In short, that the person who's name is on the bill is paying for the electrical that he or she uses.

I have been paying for the XXXX basement's electrical for over five years. Or perhaps the association has been paying for my kitchen electrical---at this point no one knows. Nonetheless the situation should be straightened out and as a concerned neighbor I'm not willing to sacrifice the financial stability of the association as a whole for a matter that can be worked out among members of the same tier.

Moreover I'm also exploring the possibility of having my electrical upgraded to 10 circuits instead of the six that I have so my lights don't flicker when I plug in an iron or mixer. As I have both a small stackable washer and dryer, dishwasher, microwave, stand alone range and refrigerator it's important for me to make sure that not only do I have enough power to run the appliances that I currently have but to also be able to bring in additional ones in the future.

It is both XXXX's & my fondest wish that not only the association but XXXX will be on board with this first move to correct this glaring oversight. I feel fairly confident in speaking for us both by saying that this project is going to happen---and happen in the near future. If as a result, the lines are straightened out and the responsible party does not take the steps to have them reconnected to the correct circuit, the onus falls on them.

I do not agree with your statement that if the work affects other areas or units that it's my responsibility to make sure those area's electricity has been restored.

That's why XXXX and I are giving (and has given) everyone significant notice of what's going to happen so we can all do this together to minimize power interruptions. If she and I are the only ones interested in pursuing this matter at this time and units and common areas wind up in the dark, no one can say they weren't sufficiently warned.

This has been discussed and debated. we both would like to think we're good neighbors by sparing the association the large expense of having the financial onus fall of them. We've even followed the procedures set down in our Declarations and Bylaws notifying the association about major work inside of our units.

Now it's time for the work to begin.

Once our due diligence is finished and the written estimates are in we will let you know when the work will start. I would guess on mid to late February. The name and number of our potential electrician is in XXXX's first e-mail below.

The Unmixing, The Property Manager Speaks

The Property Manager's response was sent on 1/25/07 to all tier unit owners and the board:


Thank you for sending us notice of your intentions to contract the electrical work. It's comforting to know that you're proactive in your approach to attacking the issues that affect our XXXX community.

At first glance, it seems though that this may be an issue that should be handled by the association. If in fact the lines are tied, then wouldn't this be considered limited common areas, thus falling under the jurisdiction of the condo board? This characterization of the issue will allow the expense of correcting the lines to be shared with all members of the association.

I suspect the $350 over-the-phone estimate to be grossly understated. But, not only should the financial cost be considered in making this decision, the potential liability should also be strongly considered. Unfortunately, if work in our units effects other units or the common areas, we would be responsible to remedy those effected areas. That could become a financial burden we can't bear.

Has this issue been brought to the board's attention and put up for discussion/vote? Or is it that you prefer to handle the issue yourselves?

Mr. Property Manager

The Unmixing, Additional Woody

This e-mail was sent on 1/22/07 once again to the board, all tier unit owners and the 2nd floor unit's property manager after the first floor unit owner's letter of the same date:


Good Afternoon,

Like XXXX I am also eager to get my individual electrical situation resolved.

As I mentioned at the board only meeting last week, I know that the 1509 basement electricity is tied to one of my circuits. I discovered this last year when the porches were being constructed. The heavy power tools blew the circuit which took out the basement lights, basement electrical outlets and most of my kitchen power.

When Mr. XXXX straightens out our situations it may be that the association may need to either engage his services or the services of a qualified electrician to make sure the common areas continue to have power.

I cannot emphasize that step be taken in conjunction with the work that will soon be performed to minimize electrical disruptions.

While I'm not sure if XXXX's electricity and my electricity are intermingled, I wouldn't doubt it at this point. I hope that you can also be on board as we start to untangle yet another mess that Carlton left us with.

I'm sure that with the recent jump in electrical prices, that we all want to make sure that our collective bills reflect our true usage.

At this point, I anticipate the work to happen sometime in the month of February. More information will follow.

Woody

The Unmixing, The First Floor Speaks

This e-mail was sent on 1/22/07 from my first floor neighbor to the board, all owners in our tier and property manager for the 2nd floor unit after she and I had consulted two electricians about our concerns:


XXXX,

I am ready to start electrical work on my apartment that will separate
our electrical lines.

As you know, when my fuses blow, your entire kitchen
shuts down. I am sure that you and your tenants have experienced this in
the past. This email is to inform you, so that hopefully you will join
XXXX and I in getting our lines straightened out to the basement.

This is just the first round of hopefully resolving some long-standing electrical
issues in my apartment. So at least I know that I am only paying for my
electrical usage, not my neighbor's.

Just as a caveat, your tenants' home-based hair salon is yet another reason why our electrical has to be straightened out. This situation is just blatantly over and above normal
usage of our utilities and isn't even "legal" under our Decs and Bylaws. I will definitely contact your property manager and you to disclose when the work is going to happen.

Bill XXX, is the electrical contractor that we will be working with. He gave me a quote of $350 over the phone, and will be getting written estimate this week. I thought this was very reasonable and am hoping that you will hop aboard to get this taken care of. I can assure you that my electrical will be affect your unit, but I am unsure if XXXX's unit will have any effect. Did you have any issues in the past?

If there are any updates or changes in schedule, I will also forward any information along to you.

Thx for your time and consideration.

XXXX

The Unmixing, Happy New Year

This e-mail is dated 1/5/07 and was sent from me to my condo board and the two other owners in my tier:


Folks,

As some of you may know the electrical service in my unit has been a major concern to me for the past few years.

In fact it was only last year during the porch construction that I discovered that the electrical to the back of my unit was tied in the XXXX basement electrical. Knowing that XXXX has also had similar problems in the past, both she and I setup an appointment with XXXX from XXXX Electric to see if our individual situations can be sorted through.

I'm mentioning this to the board as the electrical to some common areas and other units in the XXXX tier (or the building as a whole) may be affected by any discoveries and/or changes.

For instance, if the basement power has been erroneously connected to a circuit for my unit, that power will eventually be disconnected. It is my hope if such an issue arises, that all of this can be done as seamlessly as possible.

Seeing that we know the electrical work on the original condo conversion was questionable at best, I have a feeling that unit owners have been partially paying for other unit owners (or the common areas) electric usage.

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

Woody

The Unmixing

Our electrical is, quite frankly, a mess.

If you've read my earlier post about this epic saga---you already know about that drama.

After having countless electricians come over to take a look at the electrical system then run like the wind; we have finally found someone who apparently can take care of our individual unit issues.

While as an association we have many issues with our electrical system, the main culprit is the electrical wiring for one unit may be connected to the circuit for another.

As a result, one unit owner may be paying for the electricity for their unit AND the portion of another unit.

In my case (to the best of my knowledge) I'm paying for my electricity AND the basement electricity of my tier which includes our building's intercom system.

Ain't life grand?

So like the diligent little home owners that we are, my first floor neighbor and I intended to get the problem rectified.

It be unfortunate if you kids saw me out on the corner in order to pay my mortgage like electric bill.

By the way, our electrical provider, Commonwealth Edison has sharply increased their rates so everyone's bills are taking a hit.

Silly us---we tried to get the other unit owner in our tier and her property manager on board. Thinking that once our electrical was corrected, there is a significant chance that her unit (and some of the common areas) might be in the dark.

Seeing that she has renters that wouldn't be a good thing.

Much to our surprise we’ve met resistance. The next few e-mail posted e-mail transmissions will tell the story.

Why can't anything be easy around this joint?

What's New Pussycat?

I've already blogged about the Living Green Lofts.

Now say "hey" to the new kid on the block from Sergio & Banks.

Eminem

So if you're starting to clean out your closet in advance of spring, these good organizations could always use your immaculately cared for items:

The Bottomless Closet
This organization provides employment assistance, couseling and clothing to women on public aid and the working poor who are in transition. It's a great program---I've been donating to them for years. They're always looking for professional clothing and accessories for women sizes 14 on up. Big girls need love too.


The Glass Slipper Project
Do you really need to wear that old bridesmaid dress out for Halloween again? Why don't you just dry clean it and donate it to these nice folks so a girl can afford to go to prom. Once again, they always need donations from a size 14 on up.


The Brown Elephant Resale Shops
A Chicago Institution affiliated with the Howard Brown Health Center. A leading provider or health and wellness programs for the gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual community.

Arrrgh!

As fate would have it, I happen to be a Chicago Bears season ticket holder.

Albeit one who isn’t going to the festivities in Miami this weekend.

Everyone says that the weather isn’t very good in the sunshine state right now but I’m betting dollars to donuts that it’s better than waking up in 2 degree conditions.

Nonetheless I found myself in a peculiar situation two weeks ago on the eve of the NFC championship game.

I had tickets to a game I didn’t want to attend.

For the most part, I’m a robust type of woman I’m not a fainting flower or nervous Nellie. But like most people I do have an Achilles heel:

My horrific sinuses.

I went to Bears’ games last season, would nap after the game and wake up with my eyes swollen shut.

I looked like someone punched me in the face without the bruising.

I already knew for this year what lay ahead and didn’t want to do that dance again.

I proactively sold or gave away my cold weather tickets. And before you ask, yes that meant the Packer game.

So imagine my surprise that on the eve of the NFC championship game that I still had a pair of seats burning a hole in my hands for one of the hottest games in town.

Now I happen to be a season ticket holder with a healthy dose of suspicion. I won’t just sell my tickets to anyone. If for some reason those tickets were re-sold, then scalped and the person doing so was caught; the shit would roll down hill directly to my doorstep.

As the season ticket holder of record, any wrong doing---any at all---is my responsibility. I’m the one the McCaskey’s will have the come to Jesus meeting with.

That also means that if you sit in my seats and act like a brain dead asshole and get the heave ho from security, my phone will be ringing on Monday morning as well.

So as the game approached I was in a bit of a quandary. What to do with this valuable commodity?

While running around like a mad woman one day, I heard that people were trying to barter goods and services in exchange for tickets to the game.

I took a look on Craigslist to see what I could find.

Mortgage brokering services and Botox didn’t appeal to me. I didn’t need a friend to buy me beer---I have enough enablers, thank you---and I don’t know how to play golf.

But I rarely get to go out on the lake in the summertime.

Unfortunately in my diverse circle of friends and acquaintances there are very few boat owners.

A nice man named Bruce wanted to go see the game and expressed that wish in his barter ad. I like to go out on the Lake Michigan and had tickets. It seemed as if we were destined to meet.

I rang him up and asked if he had tickets to the game yet. He said, “no” and we started a conversation.

Fast forward about 24 hours later and Bruce was the proud recipient of my seats and I was the proud recipient of a two hour charter for me and roughly 35-40 of my friends.

We even took pictures to commemorate the momentous occasion.

When you see the Red Witch out in late August that just might be me--Ahoy you land lubbing squabs! Prepare to be boarded!

Some things are just better than money.

I’ll be the one in the eye patch and the peg leg.

My Dinner With Carlton

I knew I had to look and act like an adult.

After all I don’t go to aldermanic fundraisers everyday.

In the scheme of things, an aldermanic fundraiser is not on par with the Spielberg, Geffen & Katzenberg dust up they’re having out west for Senator Obama.

Nonetheless you do have to actually put your money where your mouth is and support the candidates that you actually respect.

Few politicians pass that litmus test. Fortunately for me my alderman does.

No I don’t have a case of idol worship but I do think she’s aces.

So off I tripped to her campaign kick off at the Seven Ten Lanes in Hyde Park.

There were few people that I knew but hell I’ll go anywhere but a white separatist’s meeting. Not knowing people in a crowd doesn’t really faze me.

My alderman was working the crowd and giving everyone the glad hand.

I actually started putting faces with names, generally behaving and chewing with my mouth shut.

You know---grown up stuff.

When I finally got a chance to steal a moment with my alderman to thank her for a job well done, that’s when I saw him.

I guess the fresh flowers dying should have been a sign.

There he was in the flesh, the title character of I Hate My Developer---Carlton Knight.

I continued my conversation with my alderman---slyly throwing in a “Why didn’t you tell me that he was here?”---during a pause in the conversation.

“Now Woody calm down.”

“Why does that man have the nerve to show his face here?’

I went to the bar to go get another drink.

A big drink.

I later found out that he is a regular on the black aldermanic fundraising circuit. Naturally everyone has to play nicey and not make waves in public. From some thinly veiled conversations with those in the know, he’s about as welcome as a case of the clap.

Then of course they could be feeding me a big load of bullshit as everyone knows my feelings for the man.

Hell it’s in the title of this blog.

I went for another drink.

Hopefully he’s still persona non grata in my ward and won’t be “developing property” anytime soon. Now for the rest of Chicago---Lord help them.

No words were exchanged between us. No glares. Glasses remained intact and knives were not thrown.

I was a perfect lady who was cussing under her breath.

Set, Match...

It took almost two years but it is finally over.

The third party judgment against the association has been vacated by the city. We are now officially not holding the bag for Carlton Knight’s responsibilities.

Well at least for this one.

Like Babe Ruth Mr. Money Bags came through and delivered on his called shot---the issue was indeed cleared up before Christmas. Specifically December 21st.

Because Mr. Money Bags is all that and a bag of chips, a handwritten thank you note was promptly put in the post.

‘Cause I’m a classy broad like that.

Guilty Pleasure

I know I'm almost 40.

I know I shouldn't be shamelessly manipulated by the pop music machine.

But this song is still awesome.

I just can't help but to bop around to the funky beat.

I just loves me some Darkchild.

Egads!

Why did I run into my developer at my alderman’s kick off campaign shindig last Thursday?

Holy crap!

More later.

Rife

If I were a guy right now, I’d have a perpetual hard on.

This aldermanic corruption shit is just sensory overload for us local political junkies.

Federal charges based on a piece of property in another ward, questionable & defensive behavior by the sitting alderman, a fiery rebuttal press conference, a turncoat operative with felonies in his past, disgruntled constituents and now questionable loans at one of our city’s oldest and most respected banks?

This place is rife with corruption. Can’t you just smell it in the air?

But you must admit, Alderman Troutman has a friggin set of brass ones. To quote Jay-Z, "Ladies is pimps too."

Hell I just might pop a boner after all.

Signed, Sealed...

The city sent me a duplicate paper form to gather additional information about the taxicab incident from a week and a half ago.

Naturally I attached my blog post in all of it's unfettered glory.

I did note an appology for some of the salty language. Not everyone curses in print.

Hopefully I'll hear something back soon from Consumer Services.

A Statement Of Fact

If the information I received from the City of Chicago is correct, the 1512-1514 East Marquette Condominium Development is located in the 20th Ward.

...Just in case you had any questions about stuff like that.

This Just In

Huge breaking news!

20th ward alderman Arenda Troutman was arrested earlier today on alleged bribery charges.

Cats and kittens, this has huge implications for Woodlawn and the emerging redevelopment of the south side as a whole.

While Alderman Troutman is not my alderman---I'm in the 5th ward---but she is the alderman for a huge chunk of the Woodlawn community. If you've read my earlier posts you know that everything that happens in Chicago's 50 wards is largely controlled by the alderman.

Any official business on her plate is obviously on hold.

...And scant weeks before the election. Wow whee!

When the feds are involved that ain't a good sign.

Shock & Awe

I can't believe the city is prosecuting a developer. Read more about it here.

I also can't believe I didn't know about this when it happened. I must be losing my touch.

Hitchcockian

So perhaps the pretty birds are not as harmless as I first thought.

Crabby Cabbie

Living on the south side of Chicago is a daily test of your patience and will.

My fellow Chicagoans often give those of us who live south of Madison Street the back of their hand when it comes to common courtesy and respect.

Not being a native Chicagoan, I was often bewildered at the whole south side north side animosity/rivalry thing.

Let’s suffice it to say that after living on the south side for five years I totally get it---the mystery is gone.

One of the daily injustices that south siders face is the taxicab situation.

On the one hand you have to be organized and time conscious to get to where you’re going via public transportation. Knowing that you either have to catch a bus or a train for work or for play makes you budget your time efficiently.

On the other hand, it sucks when you have to attend a formal event and wait over an hours for a cab---if you’re lucky.

We have a little law here in Chicago that states that the cab companies must have dedicated “neighborhood cabs” that service every neighborhood in the city.

That’s a nice way of saying, “Service the south side, you bootleg motherfuckers.”

But what the law (or ordinance) says and what actually happens are two different things.

I fully know that if I call one of the big cab companies that I won’t ever see a cab. They can put the call out all they want but if no one responds, what can the dispatcher do?

Or so I’ve been told.

So in order to save my sanity, I don’t rely upon the large cab companies to come and get me but if I’m on the north side---I do rely upon them to ferry me home.

95% of the time I have no problem. But that 5% can be a problem.

So began my (early) Saturday morning.

I hailed and got into a cab at approximately 12:30 AM on Saturday morning (12/30) only to be told by the driver that he was “off duty” after I gave him my destination address.

I was in no mood to put up with some cab driver’s bullshit
.
He told me that since he was “off duty” that I should get out and find another cab.

Ding, ding---game on.

I was pissed.

Pissed with a capital “P.”

I stated that I hailed him, he picked me up and wasn’t off duty until I revealed my destination address. I further added that I wasn’t going to take another cab.

“You need to take another cab.”

“Are you refusing to take me to my destination?”

It went on like this for a few minutes.

The cabbie (Mr. Mohanadinoner, if I copied his name down correctly) then stated that he was going to call the police if I didn’t get out of the cab.

I told him I’d beat him to the punch and already had 911 dialed on my cell phone.

The cops arrived a few minutes later.

Unfortunately they were of little assistance.

The officers essentially refused to enforce the City of Chicago rules that state the following:

When you hail a cab, drivers cannot refuse service unless the "Not for Hire" sign is displayed
Cabs licensed within the City of Chicago may take you anywhere in the city or to the suburbs

After a boatload of hard looks and my explanation of the situation, one of the officers strongly suggested that I copy down the cab driver’s information and take another cab.

From the looks he was giving me, I knew this was a fight I wasn’t going to win. I took the necessary information and got out of the cab.

Thanks a lot Officer Friendly.

Unfortunately I didn’t get the officer’s badge number so I could file a complaint against his handling of the situation. But let me share something with you ladies and gentlemen, if you start some shit with the Chicago Police Department, you better be ready for a very unfriendly and extremely personal fight.

I don’t suggest it unless it’s a circumstance in the most extreme.

And even then you better have multiple copies of corroborating evidence and credible eyewitnesses backing your story.

It wouldn’t hurt to be the spouse or immediate family member of an officer just as an extra level of protection.

This is Chicago, if you start a fight be better damn well be able to finish it.

Even if I had his badge number, I’m not gonna start a pissing match over some bootleg cab driver.

I did on the other hand fill out the city’s online complaint form lodging an official complaint against the driver and my treatment.

I will not be treated “less than” because you perceive my worth or the worth of my neighborhood to not be up to your standards.

Fuck you.

I don’t care he thought the neighborhood was unsafe or that my fare would take him too far away from other potential fares in a mainstream entertainment district.

Hell, I don’t care if he doesn’t like black people.

That wasn’t his call.

When his service light was on and I got into his cab, all of that hoo-ha flew out the window.

Let’s see if I can acquaint the cabbie with the power of one.

I’ll keep the blog updated as developments occur.